Your wedding is meant to be the happiest day of your life and one you will remember forever, but planning it is often memorable for all the wrong reasons – the stress.
But for those fortunate enough to employ a wedding planner, Sarah Haywood is at the top of the list.
‘I run one of the world’s most luxurious wedding planning businesses,’ she tells us.
‘I can meet the demands of any client and our parties are far from your standard events.’ She pauses. ‘They are full-scale productions.’
For the past two decades, Sarah’s services have been limited to some of the world’s richest families, but now a new TV show, The Wedding Fixer, will see her use her expertise to help six very different couples plan their dream day.
‘It was lovely to assist people who were more like me,’ she says with a smile.
‘They had good budgets, though – from £6,000 to £40,000 – but I started out on my landing, running a one-woman show. Now it’s huge.
'So to go back to that intimacy and work with ordinary people was lovely. It reminded me what weddings are all about.’
Becoming a prestigious planner is no mean feat, but Sarah fell into it almost by accident. When working as a TV journalist, she was asked to plan a bash for her team.
‘It was the tenth anniversary of the company I worked for and I was enlisted to organise the party. And it was really good.
'People still talk about it now. I really enjoyed it and started helping friends with their events, but I never wanted to do weddings, I thought they’d be too stressful – and I was right!’ she adds with a laugh.
Word got around and her first client came to her with a budget of £16,000 to use on their perfect wedding day.
‘My job in TV had so many transferable skills,’ she recalls. ‘We have budgets, running orders, we have to problem-solve if anything goes wrong and we need to be creative.'
'The main thing I realised quickly is that the budget is irrelevant when it comes to couples being stressed. But often people offer financial help and those who are offering money feel they have a right to make decisions and have a say in it all. So a lot of people get involved.'
'The way to stay calm isn’t to throw more money around. You’re doing something you’ve never done before, which is supposed to be the best day of your life. It’s going to feel stressful,’ she explains.
Sarah has her own straight-talking way of soothing her clients.
‘I tell them they’re putting their lives under a microscope, so of course they’re apprehensive. The best way is to take a step back and realise that the event element is just a backdrop to something more important.'
'Plus, from my experience, I know that if guests are watered and well fed, they’re happy. No one has ever said, “Wow, I had such a great time at that wedding because the flowers looked great.”'
'It’s the feeling of intimacy that guests enjoy. No one wants to look at a £10k flower display while eating a lukewarm chicken dinner. Prioritise what matters.’
We’ve become familiar with the terms Bridezilla and Groomzilla in recent years, but this wedding planner refuses to ever mutter those words.
‘Of course people are going to be controlling of their own wedding day,’ she exclaims.
‘Not wanting to let go of tasks is identifiable! But that’s where I come in. Who wants to get up at 4am on their own wedding day to arrange flowers? Pay someone else to do it so you can just turn up.’
Start small, aim big
As Sarah’s business grew, she secured a few big-budget clients.
Noticing a gap in the market, she decided to pursue the higher end of the spectrum, where she now works with billionaires and Saudi princesses.
‘Once I’d had my first client with £1m to spend, I realised how much I loved making huge spectacles.'
'When I started out, wedding planners weren’t really a thing in the UK,’ she tells us.
‘So, I was lucky. I conducted some research and realised most of the higher-budget clients lived overseas, but had second properties in London. It was also rated the favourite city in the world by the most wealthy sector. So I thought, “Right, if someone wants to travel from overseas to have their wedding in the UK, they can plan it with me!”’ She laughs.
‘The British are seen as having a serious sense of style, and we do. Nobody does it like us,’ she says.
Sarah has a permanent team and core staff and employs externally when required, often having up to 500 staff for one day.
She refuses to reveal how much her services cost, but made a reported profit of £5m last year alone. And the bigger the budget, the more spectacular the requests.
‘I will never call a request outrageous,’ explains Sarah matter-of-factly. ‘We can make anything happen. If you’ve got money, anything can be possible.’
But what kinds of things does she manage to conjure up?
‘People have wanted pop stars such as John Legend to sing their first dance song. That can be done. We’ve booked Michael Bublé, J-Lo, Chris Martin and the magician Dynamo. Or maybe they want an empty space in a room to be turned into an orangery or a skyline scene. We can do it.’
We imagine the prices to get an A-list celebrity at your wedding are extortionate. And we’re right.
‘If they’re in performance mode on a tour it might be slightly less,’ she tells us. ‘But if you want a famous performer while they’re taking a break, you could be looking at millions. Either way, you’re looking at the top end of hundreds of thousands for a small set.’
Worldwide wedded bliss
Planning high-end weddings with clients from all over the globe means that having an understanding of different cultures has been key for Sarah and her team.
‘I’ve planned gay weddings and a quick turnaround celebration for a Saudi Princess where I had 18 days. Plus blended ceremonies, such as a Bangladeshi bride and an Essex groom, and Chinese weddings where it is crucial to please the parents,’ she says.
‘Many cultures have weddings that are business events, where important people are invited by parents who have never even met the couple. If they’re not invited, it would be considered very rude.'
'In the Middle East they have segregated weddings, where the men celebrate separately to the women, then the men come and get the women at the end,’ she tells us. ‘And they’re really fun events. Those ladies dance like nothing I’ve ever seen!’
Having orchestrated thousands of weddings, Sarah is wary to pick a favourite event, so as not to offend anyone, but explains that every day is memorable in its own way.
‘I’ve hosted a surprise wedding in a crematorium, which was fun,’ she tells us.
‘But no matter the budget, they’re all special. In fact, on The Wedding Fixer , I saw the most beautiful ceremony ever. A couple called Fanny and Thomas. It had so much heart.'
'They wrote their own vows, the bride’s community choir sang, she walked herself down the aisle and it was so heartfelt, all on one of the smallest budgets of the series.’
Of course, the queen of all wedding ceremonies knew how to throw a brilliant bash for her own big day. But 20 years ago when she tied the knot with husband Tim, theirs was a more low-key affair.
‘We got married in a registry office in London with his two children and my late father and grandfather in attendance,’ she explains.
‘Then we went to The Ritz for dinner and on the London Eye to catch the sunset. Then, a week later, I had a church blessing and 200 people came to our house to a marquee in the garden, where we ate sausage and mash,’ she says with a smile.
‘That’s my idea of a dream day!'
Above all, Sarah can dress your venue up and make your wildest dreams come true, but she urges us to remember the true meaning of tying the knot.
‘Weddings are an affirmation of the concept of family,’ she says.
‘You have people there who have supported you in your life and want to see your marriage work. It’s a celebration of love.’
So, what advice does she have for anyone planning their dream day? ‘Compromise!’ she exclaims.
‘If you can learn that in the build-up to your wedding day, then that’s the start of a successful union. Marriage is all about compromise. Oh, and if I’m involved, trust my expertise. I know what I’m doing, promise.’
- The Wedding Fixer is on 25 February, 10pm on W
