Not for the first time, fashion has found itself in direct comparison to Jurassic Park. In order to evolve, the franchise, which rolls on this summer with its fourth instalment 22 years after the first came out, initially mooted the winning idea of dino-humans: hybrid dinosaurs with the primal urge to bake as well as eat children. Thankfully, the need for a wide release prevailed and the idea was dismissed. Sadly, the same is not true of hybrids in fashion, and for every pair of jeanos, for every jegging, skort and slimmy – legit, all of them – there’s a new and unimaginable fashion hybrid, the best and worst of which is below.
The wet suit
Note the space between the words, for indeed this is a suit that can get wet. Designed by surf label Quiksilver in Japan and ad agency TBWA\HAKUHODO the $2,500 True Wetsuit looks like a suit but is made from neoprene (already a staple in womenswear, see Cos, Lanvin and Opening Ceremony) and a “drylight” fabric. You know, should business/casual be your thing at the beach, which is the case for absolutely no one.
The walkabout sleeping bag
Wheeled out in time for festival season is this self-explanatory blot on the landscape of festival fashion. It’s a sleeping bag with a detachable foot section and armholes, meaning you can sleep in it, handy if you get too drunk to find your tent or suffer from narcolepsy. The very worst kind of wearable tech. Halfords should know better.
The tonesie
OK we made the name up, but this actually-half-decent onesie is designed to work like a tent. It’s waterproof, thanks to a TPU-laminated polyester with a mesh lining. Ventilation holes mean you can virtually sleep in it, too. If this is a possible life choice, though, God help you.
The commuter jacket
The most directional of the lot is this commuter jacket, or “blazer with enough give to cycle” or, as they deftly put it, jacket “that functions admirably on a bike with a deconstructed, minimal aesthetic”. Rapha, one of the few outerwear brands which hasn’t fallen to the allure of athleisure, does a tidy line of pretty, practical stuff. Certainly the best of a bad lot.
