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Newcastle Herald
Newcastle Herald
National
Anita Beaumont

'We went from a family of six to a family of four in five months'

Just ask: Vicki Mendyk lost her husband Peter and daughter Chelsey to suicide. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

VICKI Mendyk has come to understand the true value of asking for help, and admitting when you are not OK.

In December, 2017, Vicki lost her husband, Peter, to suicide.

Then - just five months later - her 19-year-old daughter, Chelsey, also took her own life.

"We went from a family of six to a family of four in a matter of five months," Mrs Mendyk, of Gillieston Heights, said. "It's hard to pick yourself up and move forward from that. People say you move on. You don't move on, you move forward. I move forward for my boys, now."

Mrs Mendyk said her husband's death was a "huge shock".

They had just shared a coffee in bed that morning, talking over their plans for a trip to Sydney.

"I got in the shower, and he went down to have breakfast, I thought," she said.

"Half an hour later, I found him... He had never suffered with any form of mental health, whatsoever. There were no money problems, no marriage problems - none of the above.

"He was a bit stressed out with work, but apart from that, everything was good."

Chelsey, who had suffered with anxiety, had not coped with the loss of her father.

Brock and Vicki Mendyk ,of Gillieston Heights, lost husband and father, Peter, and daughter, Chelsey, to suicide. Vicki held a high tea in their memory to raise money for Lifeline for suicide awareness. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers MMH

"They were really close," Mrs Mendyk said. "In the five months before she passed, she had really struggled, but her last five days were the best she had been, I thought.

"Once again - there wasn't a sign that week that that was going to happen."

Related: Brock and Vicki Mendyk speak out about suicide

Mrs Mendyk said she tried to "go it alone", but eventually, she knew she needed some support herself.

"After 12 months, I found myself in a bit of a hole myself. So I went to the GP, and I have a really good counsellor now, and lots of support from family and friends too," she said. "I'm OK today, earlier in the week, I wasn't.

"It was Peter's 50th birthday on Monday, and that was hard. And with Father's Day the week before... I've had a rough couple of weeks.

"Some days it is hard to get out of bed. Some days, I don't."

Mrs Mendyk hoped RU OK? Day on Thursday would prompt people to "trust their gut" if they have any concerns about a loved one.

"It is hard when everything looks fine on the outside, but it's not on the inside," she said. "I can look back now and think that two weeks before Peter passed there were a couple of things that were a bit out of character, but at the time, it wasn't enough to warn me that this was coming. If you think someone isn't OK, you just have to keep on top of them, you've got to keep asking. If you have a gut feeling, just continually check in. Try to reassure them that there is always good to come.

"It's not weak to speak. It could save your life."

  • Lifeline 13 11 14
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