Margot Barnard, 80, a founder member of the Bonn Zionist Youth Movement, left Germany for Palestine in 1936. Five years later, she met a British soldier who she later married; they returned to england in 1945. He died in 1964 and she's been single ever since. She gives talks in schools and universities about the Holocaust.
'I remember thinking in my forties that things had turned out pretty good. I'd spent most of my marriage as an army wife and enjoyed helping him with stage work. He was an entertainer. We had two teenage sons, a lovely home and a car. "I've got everything I've ever wanted," I thought. But two months later, Ted was dead. It was 1964, and he died following one of the first open heart operations in England. People couldn't cope with death in those days, and I was ignored completely. An added problem was that I was still a good-looking woman, so the neighbours saw me as a threat and didn't want to know. For several months, I sat quietly in my room but then I thought, "You've got to fight back." I didn't want to become a sad and lonely person.
The first thing I did was to go away with my eldest son, then 18, on a package tour to Italy. I came back replenished, sold our house in Bexleyheath and moved to a flat in London. Although at first I found decision-making daunting, I soon came to enjoy it.
At first I couldn't find an entrance ticket into the London social scene because I had no profession and people had no label with which to describe me. I remember one well-known writer introducing me to her friends with the words, "This is Margot Barnard... but she's very nice."
I knew I had to make some money, so I took in a German student as a lodger. That was how I started to make contact with the German youth. I wanted to stretch out my hand to the next German generation.
I never feel lonely because I love being able to do what I want to do. I've always loved my independence: I even ran away from home at age 14 because my parents disapproved of my Zionist activities. I have lots of young friends, I go out a lot and still give talks in English and German schools.
Since being widowed, I've had only one boyfriend, but it finished when he asked me to marry him. I liked my independence too much.'
The gay man
Jeremy Haneman, 28, is a musician and arts editor working on the launch of Queercompany.com, an e-commerce facility designed for the gay community
'I've never been in a long-term relationship. The longest I've ever been with a person is five months. I like being single - it suits my state of mind, which is generally to be free and happy. But I'm not discounting a relationship. If someone comes along, brilliant, but I'm really happy the way I am.
People tend to think that gay men aren't good at forming relationships, but I'm not sure if that's because they're gay or simply because there's a lot more pressure on heterosexuals to settle down. I think people can sense if you're desperate for a relationship and they steer clear because they don't find it attractive. Also, lots of people have hidden agendas: they want to be in a relationship because it's good for their self-image or because everyone else has a partner or because they don't want to be alone. About 50 per cent of my friends are in relationships, but there aren't that many who I actually envy. I see a lot of deception going on. Of course it would be lovely to form an amazing relationship with someone I loved, but I won't do it as a compromise to social pressure.
I like being able to do what I want to do. I go out a lot to clubs, bars and restaurants, and I like having the sexual freedom to see whoever I want. But I also like being alone.'
The Thirtysomething
Anna Rickard, 31, is a quality officer for air pollution. She's been single for three years
'People have said I have too high expectations. In the past I've tried to compromise, thinking may be I'll grow to like them, but it's never worked. Now I think, "What's the point?" The older you get the more you want from a relationship. I'm looking for a man who's dynamic, open, sensitive - and it's difficult to meet someone with those criteria. Also, I've got used to being by myself and the idea of sharing my life feels quite alien. You get selfish because you haven't had to consider someone else's feeling for a long time.
The relationships I've had have all ended for different reasons, though I've initiated quite a few of the break ups. I tend to get bored. A long-term relationship can become mundane at times, and you have to work at it. I like the freedom of being single, of being able to live the lifestyle I like, and I've had the odd fling in the past three years. I meet blokes if I go out to a bar, but none of them has worked out.
My friends provide me with all the friendship and companionship I need. I have male and female friends, some single and others in relationships. We go out in a big gang and have a good time together drinking, cycling, diving.
I'm very happy hanging out with my friends, going off on exciting holidays when I want to, but I wouldn't want the lifestyle of my friends who have settled down and had babies. I think I'd feel trapped. I can see how much you have to compromise and give up when you have a baby. I'm probably a bit selfish for that right now. That's not to say I wouldn't like the close company of a boyfriend, but it's not top of my agenda. On the other hand, if I'm in this situation in five years' time, I might be slightly worried.
I don't like being the only single person in a room full of couples, especially if it's all lovey dovey or baby talk. I feel quite alien to that, and I guess it brings it home to me that... oh my God, will I be left on the shelf? But I don't worry for long. I like my life, and I don't want what they've got right now.'
The Commitmentphobe
Josh Howie, 24, is a music-video rep. He is the son of Lynne Franks and Paul Howie
'I have a low attention span, and while I've slept about a bit, I find it hard to maintain a relationship for long. After a couple of weeks I stop returning the phone calls, and the big phase out begins. I'm not good at confrontation. The trouble is, while I might find a girl my age attractive, once my sexual appetite has been satisfied I get bored. Often it seems that the better looking the girl, the less need they've had to develop their personality because they've been able to manipulate men by playing on their looks all their life.
For me, relationships are all about learning something and being with someone who can bring out the best in you. Younger girls don't have that ability. I've been with older women too, and certainly they have more interesting stories to tell. They've been around the block; they know all the crappy ways you're thinking because they've been there.
I go out a lot and I'm constantly ready. My antennae are always up and I'm all set to bring on the charm. I was a very late developer and for years had to put up with constant rejection. Then suddenly the acne disappeared, I was 6ft tall and everyone wanted to know me. Perhaps my slight misogynist tendency comes from years of rejection.
I like to think I've given a woman the best night of her life - it's a kind of "look at me, I'm a stud" mentality. But also on some level I'm paranoid I'm a fake. I find it hard to respect someone I've slept with. I show them my best side and still feel fake and think, "Oh, you didn't spot that. I can't quite believe you bought my bullshit."
A lot probably stems from insecurity. If I talk about my fear of intimacy with a girl who I'm trying to chat up, sometimes that just feels like another tactic - "the honest trip" - whereas they're thinking, "I'm going to change this guy." So you can't win.'
The Divorcée
Patty Deppe-Greenall, 39, was married for 14 years until last year, when she divorced her husband. She is a consultant astrologer who writes two columns for internet sites and has two children, Daisy, 11, and William, eight.
'People look on me as the baddy because I divorced my husband, but it takes a lot of courage to leave a 14-year marriage. I started studying astrology a few years ago after not having worked for 10 years. It wasn't my aim to become independent and support myself, but that proved very useful. As the marriage failed, I started working with clients and teaching. I built up my confidence by consulting over the phone.
At first I was afraid of being on my own, but the quality of my life has improved immensely. I don't have to fight all the time or constantly clean up. Now I'm able to pay for the mortgage and the bills myself. Sometimes I spend more than I make and I'm always thinking of ways to make money, but at least I have a good time.
When I was with my husband, I didn't have any drive or energy. Everything I did seemed to be constantly defeated. But now I'm getting things done. I've even mended the heating, which broke down three years ago, and put in a new carpet: people say the atmosphere is great in the flat now. I go out a lot more, too - to films, restaurants and bars. Before, there was never the money to do anything because my husband felt we had none. That attitude is very infectious.
At first when I found myself single again, I couldn't bring myself to date. The first time I had a date I made it for three weeks ahead and then cancelled the day before. Now I've gone on a few dates and it feels much more comfortable.
My astrology has a lot to do with becoming free. Part of the problem of getting married at 23 is that you don't know if you're compatible. In our case, we weren't. Over the last few years I've been finding myself again, and now I'm happier than I've been for a long time.'
The Twentysomething
Lisa Sanders, 21, lives at home. She is currently helping out in her father's double-glazing business, but is planning to start her own ironing business
'When I was about 17, I had a one-and-a-half year relationship. It ended because it all got too routine. We'd stay in or go to the cinema, all of which I found quite boring. When it was over I felt liberated.
Now, about three or four nights a week, I go out drinking and clubbing with the girls. We get merry but never loud and drunk. There are about 10 of us, and we're out to have fun. I've been around these girls since primary school, so we know each other inside out. If one of us has a problem, we rally round and support each other. Recently we all went on holiday to Cyprus and then to Dublin for a friend's birthday. I like having a laugh and going shopping with my friends. We get our hair done and buy stuff. Most weeks I'll buy clothes and shoes. I've got loads of shoes, probably about 80 pairs.
What I love about being single is that you can do what you want. If it happens, it happens. I enjoy male company, but only as friends. I've got a couple of close male friends who come out with us and who I treat just like the girls. Sometimes I meet other guys while we're out but I never go off with any of them. I wouldn't without getting to know someone first. If they're good company, I'll take their number and meet them another time.
If a boy wants to have a relationship, I tell him, "I don't want one, but if you can handle being friends, let's go out and have a laugh." They don't seem to find that too much of a rejection because I'm not saying, "I don't like you", I'm just saying, "I don't want a relationship."'
The single mother
Jacqueline Keiza, 32, is a single parent with an 11-year-old son, Francis. She is currently studying psychology and counselling
'When I met Francis's father at 17, I slowly gave up one thing after another because he didn't like them. When I left him at 21, I remember thinking, "Where are my hobbies, what did I used to do?" It was like having a blank page. By 25 I was listening to my rock music again, watching black-and-white movies and doing sculpture - all the things he's made me give up.
I've been single for 10 years, and during that time I tried to spend as much time with Francis as possible. When he was four, I got a job as a night-care officer so I could still be with him during the day. I would never bring a man back to the house because I didn't want my son to grow up with the notion that women are easy.
At 20 I was very traditional. I thought you had to be in love before you slept with someone. But when I was 23, I met an Irishman and had my first one-night stand. It was great and gave me a taste for that kind of thing, although I haven't had sex for five years. I think I frighten men because I'm so assertive and independent. My sense of self comes from having regained my independence since leaving the long-term relationship with Francis's father, which stifled me.
I love my freedom. I love going to hear rock bands, though I usually go alone - my friends don't like loud music. I don't believe in the traditional type of relationship where people live together. I think people are just conditioned to want that.
If I were to enter into a relationship, we'd have to live separately. I don't want to make someone else stay up late, listen to music and watch black-and-white movies. Equally, I don't want to be made to watch football. People need their own space, and if they don't get it, they end up looking and sounding like their partner. Living up to someone's expectations drowns you.
I love being alone and am far too busy to get lonely. My aim is to be a little bit selfish. It's important to do something for yourself sometimes instead of constantly giving to another person. You don't have to make sacrifices to raise perfectly happy children.'
The Bachelor
Tom Holmes, 42, was last in a long-term relationship 'a long time ago'. He gave up his job as executive vice president of a global advertising agency last year to get involved in two internet start-up companies, Effcom.net and creativebrief.com. He is a single father and looks after his daughter, Molly, 5, most weekends
'I've never been married, but I have been in three long-term relationships and have always wanted a degree of independence. Now I've reached a state of equilibrium. A lot of my friends who married young are getting divorced, and I see them suffering both financially and emotionally. And I'm very glad I'm not in their position. But I do sometimes miss the intimacy and companionship of a steady relationship. When I worked in advertising with a large salary, it was easier to maintain one. Now I have a more erratic lifestyle, with unsociable hours. At this time of my life, I need to be focused - on my work during the week and being a dad on the weekends. Also, women of my age expect stability and commitment from a man, which I find difficult to give. I'd find it hard to put my heart and soul into a relationship, unless I met a woman who was understanding, stunning and not high maintenance. I want to start a relationship from a base of security when I've achieved some of my business ambitions. Otherwise I'll be doing it on the run, which I used to do - that usually leads to fairly shallow flings.
I may not have much of a social life because I'm working hard, but I enjoy the freedom. I'm more comfortable in myself, more in control of my life. And I have a great time sharing Molly's experiences.
A lot of people talk with desperation about finding the right partner, as if time is running out. I'm not worried about that - I enjoy living my life as a single person.'
