Yesterday, I reported that Donald Trump had made a bizarre order that the entire 458-mile southern border wall be painted black. His reasoning? Black stuff gets hotter in the sun.
That’s true. But, as pretty much everyone pointed out, metal gets very hot in the desert sun no matter what color it’s painted, and the majority of attempted border crossings take place at night, so a black wall arguably helps would-be immigrants. But jaws really dropped when we figured out the cost of this cockamamie plan.
Even one mile of wall costs a lot to paint, especially with paint that can withstand the desert climate. But 458 miles of wall? Rough estimates come in at around a billion dollars of taxpayer money, and that’s ignoring any future maintenance and upkeep.
I had assumed this might be one of those Trump demands that was purposefully ignored by his staff, doubtless assuming he’ll forget about it when the next shiny thing comes along. But no, the border wall is being painted, right now:
DHS's Tricia McLaughlin on painting the border wall black: "We're making sure we're using US taxpayer dollars well." pic.twitter.com/sN17oAs3Td
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 21, 2025
DHS representative Tricia McLaughlin is feebly attempting to justify this:
“It not only prevents rust, that black paint, which increases durability and longevity of that wall, but it also makes it incredibly hot to the touch, so no illegal alien, no drug mule, no criminal or no cartel member can climb that border wall.”
Uh-huh. The obvious question was then asked: “so how hot is it? Like, when I boil water to make my kids’ mac and cheese hot?”
“I think that’s pretty comparable, especially in those very hot summer months, but it’s going to be that longevity and that durability as well so we’re making sure we’re using U.S. taxpayer dollars well.”
Your hard-earned tax dollars at work!
Hold up. So, it’s clear that they’re quickly abandoning the “black makes it hotter!” argument as it doesn’t make sense, and are instead trying to say painting it black makes it more durable. The Trump administration spent $15 billion building this wall during the first presidency and, if you follow the current logic, didn’t bother to make it particularly durable then?
The reality is that this incredibly stupid plan is happening because nobody has the spine to tell Trump he’s an idiot, and none of this makes sense. But hey, what’s another billion dollars blown on one of the president’s brainfarts? I mean, it’s not like public infrastructure is collapsing, schools are falling apart, and hospitals are closing! Oh wait, they are.
