Pregnancy is a wonderful and magical thing. Like, what do you mean a woman can just grow another human being inside her in nine months? Unfortunately, that magic often comes with many side effects: some irritating, others outright bizarre.
In a recent survey of 2,000 UK women who have given birth, many reported how uninformed they felt about such pregnancy side effects as big feet and the infamous "lightning crotch" (a sharp, surprising pain in the pelvis).
One netizen wanted to gather even more anecdotal evidence, so they asked women, "What's something that they never tell us about pregnancy and childbirth?"
And mothers really came through: from unexpected pregnancy symptoms to jarring birthing experiences and surprising postpartum issues, they left nothing off the table.
#1
You go from having so much medical attention - monthly, weekly, even daily visits to your OB at the end, to absolutely no support after you give birth and are discharged. No one cares how you're doing, and you get no medical attention until your 6 week checkup, to see if you're ready to begin meeting the sexual needs of your spouse. It's just gross how women are treated by the medical community.
towlette-petatucci:
I agree here- was pretty floored to learn this was the case, even with stitches, hell, it seems insane even if your birth is uncomplicated. Youre told to bring it up to the pediatrician…like, if your stitches were done poorly, no one knows until it has healed enough that theyd need to cut you again.
And that the cleared at six weeks thing is about when your male partner can penetrate you without you dying of a uterine infection. Doesnt have a lot to do with when youre actually ready for sex or when it actually feels even tolerable to you.
Its disgusting and Im happy someone mentioned it.
Image credits: Newby918
#2
That it’s life-threatening. I was sick throughout my pregnancy, to the point I had two stints in hospital on drips & anti nausea medication. That almost k**led us both. Then the birth (two months early) was traumatic & also nearly k**led us. I lost almost half my blood, required several blood transfusions, and spent a month in hospital.
Our daughter was in a neonatal unit for two months & was allowed to bring her home Christmas Eve, weighing 4lbs 10oz. My late husband who was a Royal Marine had PTSD from the birth, and he had seen combat by then.
He was k**led in action when our daughter was 17 & missed her graduation to become a Dr at a children’s hospital & her getting married & having twin girls. His photo is everywhere in her house, which is tough going for me, even 20 years on from his death.
But she was worth all the trauma & her dad would be so proud of her today. ❤️.
Image credits: Antique_Ad4497
#3
As a husband who watched his wife go through pregnancy twice, women don't talk nearly enough about how hard that whole process is. I was already a big feminist but I never been a bigger one after watching my wife give birth for the first time.
I think a lot of women just take it on the chin "because it's what you supposed to do" but f**k me as a bystander I lost years of my life watching my wife go through everything.
Also it differs so much per pregnancy that you will almost never get the same experience.
I also think that dudes that cheat on women after birth or tell them to get in shape should be f*****g imprisoned.
df_45:
Yeah my husband always tells everyone how scary birth was. For me, I was scared during the entire pregnancy that something was going to go wrong. Birth was easy in comparison.
My pet peeve right now is people who say their mother never did anything for them. Unless they tell me why their mother is so terrible I'm like your mother did more for you by the time you were born than anyone else will do for you in your whole life.
And yes, men who don't respect the mother of their child are total lowlifes.
Image credits: BigMik_PL
#4
How long you bleed after.
YouMustBeJoking888:
And the AMOUNT you bleed. I was changing pads every hour and that still wasn't enough.
Chemical-Scallion842:
And the colors it turns.
camperbunny:
And the STINK, am i right???? Dear lord. NOBODY prepared me for any of that.
Image credits: GirlWhoWoreGlasses
#5
You can lose your teeth or your teeth will decay easily. Like no matter how well you brush, floss, rinse, etc. You will end up with cavities every time you see the dentist.
StarTruckNxtGyration:
I’m sorry, what? Pregnancy and child breath gives you bad teeth!?
MisterRogersCardigan:
I had hyperemesis gravidarum with my first pregnancy (basically, "morning" sickness that wants you dead. Medication, IVs to rehydrate you because you can't stop vomiting no matter what, hospitalization, PICC lines, tube feeding, etc). I had three root canals, lost a tooth, and pretty much everything else was drilled and filled. It was like two years of dental appointments every three weeks to repair all of the damage my first pregnancy caused. A lot of my fellow HG'ers have similar stories. Pregnancy, especially difficult pregnancy, is hell on your teeth.
PhantomIridescence:
The calcium that would otherwise be strengthening your own teeth is being redirected to help build the skeleton of a whole new human. Your teeth can become brittle, sensitive, fragile, etc. You can also gain stiffness and lose flexibility in places that have cartilage, and because all that keratin is ALSO being rerouted to prioritize a baby you can have hair and nail loss.
Image credits: GoodAlicia
#6
That you can get a free sample packet of just about every mental illness there is either while pregnant or post-partum.
salaciousremoval:
We really don’t talk about this enough. The hormones are so endlessly complicated and like, we’re expected to go back to work at six weeks over here???
vegeterin:
It’s really insane to me that hormone fluctuations aren’t understood and taken more seriously in general. Even “PMSing” is kind of seen as a joke, like “Oh my god, pop a midol and calm down!”…
Meanwhile, hormones can legitimately make you s***idal.
Image credits: Rogleson
#7
There is no "safe zone." People tend to think that once you get past the 1st trimester you're guaranteed a living baby, but that's not the case. Also that after loss, you still go through all things post partum, just with empty arms: leaking milk, bleeding, hormonal swings...
RayJCee:
For me it was slowly getting statistics back from your ultrasounds, and how hopeful it makes you. My chance of loss was less than 0.5%. I spontaneously went into labour at 21 weeks a few days ago, and our son passed in our arms. There is no reason for why yet. I did every single thing exactly as I was supposed to. So far the phantom kicks are the worst part postpartum (physically) for me. The emotional part.... I feel as though I'll never recover.
Image credits: LoveSuccessful
#8
How animalistic the whole process is. If you have any fantasies about how 'special' humans are, you will quickly realise that nope, we're just chimps with really short hair.
Not a bad lesson really.
heathcliffscroissant:
All the videos I watched leading up to birth talked about the “mooing” sound women tend to make during later-stage contractions. I thought, “Yeah, that won’t be me.” Nope, I was a certified cow during that transitional stage lol.
TheDreamingMyriad:
I had a nurse "help" me moo. I was kind of shrieking and she was like, "no, go lower, low and long, low and long." I was immediately annoyed but the next one I went low and it honestly did help me through the contractions better. Must be some primal thing.
Image credits: Top-Artichoke-5875
#9
The first time you poop after giving birth. Oh my god right up there with childbirth.
Dreamfinder82:
I FaceTimed my mother butt naked on the toilet sobbing about how I was going to die sh**ting. In all of my pain, I forgot it was Christmas and she was at a table full of family, hoping to see the baby.
sydnik:
I literally was in the bathroom not thinking I was going to make it thru that first poop. The pain meds and stool softener can only do so much!!!
Image credits: breeeee27
#10
The sheer indignity of the whole process. Your cooter is out for everyone to see. You get it out at every doctor visit, it's obviously out during child birth. If you have a c-section, that time you are lying on your back after the spinal block, nursing are coming in and cleaning you up, all in your business. You can't move or help because you're basically paralyzed. Then, if you breastfeed, your b***s are out all the time. Motherhood really isn't for those that are modest about their bodies.
Elexandros:
I remember I had to prove I could pee on my own…but it was like I forgot how. My nurse decided to try dropping peppermint oil into the toilet…while I was on it.
So I’m on a toilet, a diaper around my ankles, hospital gown basically falling off of me and trying to pee in front of this lady. Shame did not exist. I didn’t care. But the peppermint oil worked and we both cheered!
Image credits: Jeansiesicle
#11
Post partum depression and Postpartum anxiety is real. You can hate and love too much that tiny human you just made.
Sleep deprivation is not for the weak. It really sucks and will never be easy. At least not until your child does a full night.
Be communicative about your needs. Don’t feel bad for asking for help and set boundaries with people who want to visit.
the_zoo_princess:
And that anxiety when they do sleep through the night for the first time. You wake up every few hours and have to make sure they're breathing because there's just no way they're just asleep... then youre kicking yourself when they do wake up because you didnt get sleep because you were too worried to sleep.
Image credits: 9kaypay9
#12
That if the birth is bad enough you can have PTSD.
TheThiefEmpress:
Yeah.
Mine was bad enough my husband also got PTSD from it.
TiredWorkaholic7:
And yet people are always like "Aww, don't you want another one?" as if this was the easiest task ever
People die from childbirth, Gertrude. And surviving the birth process doesn't mean everything is fine afterwards....
Image credits: Alternative_Big545
#13
Nobody tells you about the identity loss you experience after having kids and it sticks in for a while until you discover the new version you have become.
ItsPronouncedSatan:
It is weird to not be the priority in your own body.
Image credits: 2gd4ux
#14
Nobody told me I might throw up during labor. I was so mad. Labor AND vomiting? Whose idea was THAT, lol?
Justcallmekasey:
Omg yes. Projectile vomited between pushes. Even threw up on my doctor's head lol.
AlwaysCold95:
I vomited for 12 hours, nothing but bile by the end. I also puked all over myself on the ride to the hospital. Big wtf moment.
whateverforever421:
I kept yelling “I’m so nauseous” and they told me they were pumping in zofran as fast as they could and I kept saying I NEED MORE and then I just barfed lol. And then my husband came in and I told him “I frew up” like a child and then I absolutely beasted my c section. I was so calm my husband said he didn’t recognize me!! He was crying the entire time!
Image credits: 13surgeries
#15
That you basically get abandoned after you give birth because it’s all about the baby. Family doesn’t care, friends don’t care, your own nurses ask more about the baby than you. It’s so sad and we wonder why moms get depressed.
Sorrelmare9:
I always feel awful when I read about this on the internet, like why can’t we appreciate the poor woman who is currently freaking exhausted?!
Image credits: PumpkinPure5643
#16
It felt like my organs were going to fall out of me every time I stood up for the first couple of days while things were settling back into place. Weird feeling.
Image credits: PinkCupcke007
#17
It hurts SO much. ‘I was told ‘You won’t remember the pain” F**k you Auntie Genie!!!!! I remember! I remember the pain 20 years later!
harlot-bronte:
I remember it viscerally. I said to my husband I know how an animal caught in a trap feels - I would have gnawed off my own arm to stop the pain. I couldn't even cry it was so painful.
Image credits: SweaterSteve1966
#18
C-section recovery. I didn’t anticipate having a c-section but after 20 hours of labor, we had an emergency cesarean. Nobody warned me about the recovery and how difficult it is to be recovering from abdominal surgery with a newborn.
GlumDistribution7036:
Or how quickly everyone loses sight of the fact you’ve just had major abdominal surgery when there’s a newborn to keep alive. I remember being a week post surgery, still unable to lift stuff, and I asked my partner to bring a laundry basket into the laundry room and he asked me why I couldn’t do it. Same with driving places. I had to repeatedly remind people I wasn’t cleared to drive. And some of their reactions were along the lines of: “Really? You’re actually not driving? Isn’t that overkill?” One of my friends had to go back into the hospital because she forgot the stair rule and ran up a flight of stairs, tearing her stitches.
Image credits: question_girl617
#19
There can be no rush of love for the baby sometimes.
illulli:
This is so important! All the effort , pain and humiliation and everyone telling you how you will be rewarded by these overwhelming feelings after birth. And then… nothing. Just this helpless little baby that needs someone to take care of it. Ok I will do it if you have nobody else.
Image credits: LordyIHopeThereIsPie
#20
You'll likely go up at least one shoe width size, and that may end up being permanent.
Honest-Frame4149:
Oh yes, I went from 8.5 to 10 over the course of four pregnancies. My feet are huge now😬
sarahsmiles17:
Most women need entirely new wardrobes after birth, including shoes, because of how much our bodies change during pregnancy. It’s wild. Not to mention all the maternity clothes too to accommodate a growing belly.
Image credits: TheMoralBi**h
#21
The sheer number of complications that can happen that you’re told are “normal” (as in it happens regularly) are ASTOUNDING. You can fracture your tailbone during child birth. Happened to me, and to another woman in my mommy and me group. Normal! You can have nerve damage/compression during childbirth that makes your leg(s) so numb you cannot move them or walk afterward, sometimes for days, and nerve pain can continue for any amount of time. Normal! Happened to a friend. During pregnancy, you can release too much of a hormone called relaxin (which, aptly, relaxes your ligaments to prepare for childbirth), which causes the ligaments in your groin to loosen so much it is extremely painful to try to use them, making it impossible to even roll over in bed or get out of bed without pain— you need to use your hands to lift and move your legs out of bed. Normal! That one was again me. Pregnancy can trigger autoimmune conditions that you did not have before, like Graves disease, which then are lifelong conditions. A friend of mine has that one.
And these are not hypothetical things that *can* happen— these are just examples from my own circle of friends, and I really don’t have that many friends lol. I know far fewer women who came out of pregnancy and childbirth *without* some astounding complication than those who had something pretty huge.
Because we as a species need to do this to survive, everything just gets called “normal” like it isn’t totally debilitating and completely horrible to go through. Imagine a society where every man has their right arm chopped off at 18. Just because *everyone* goes through it doesn’t make it less painful or horrible. Just because every procreating woman goes through childbirth doesn’t make it not traumatic on your body. But it’s not seen that way.
#22
No one told me there's a thing called back labor. I always assumed contractions feel like really really bad cramps/period pain. Back labor is seriously like getting stabbed in the back with a hot poker without any breaks or relief. And when it started I had no idea I was in labor because I had no pain in my uterus area. It took a midwife saying I was 4 cm dilated to understand I wasn't just having the worst pain in my back of my life.
#23
The shakes you get. Not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the epidural or both.
LaceUp-:
OMG, the shakes were one of the worst parts for me. Could barely hold my baby when they put her in my arms.
hideyourbeans:
YES. I had a routine vaginal delivery with a walking epidural and the shakes were intense. And i was NOT prepared to feel the stitches - I tore a little and while i couldn't feel the sharpness of the needle, it felt like she was tugging and yanking putting those stitches in.
Image credits: Ok-Statistician4517
#24
You can get so exhausted in between your contractions that you can actually start to fall asleep. Then you're shocked out of your droopy stupor by the next one.
magicrowantree:
I did fall asleep! My mom ran me ragged trying to start labor the week leading up to my birth, so I was already exhausted when it was go time. I kept falling asleep and had to tell the nurse making me practically hyperventilate with her breathing techniques to f**k right off and let me gather some energy between pushes
MotherOfCatses:
My Dr. told the nurse to hook up a bag of sugar water. Then I hear him say to my husband that's the only thing keeping her awake and in this. B***h I was asleep. Eyes closed and everything between those pushes.
Image credits: Left-Ask1672
#25
A positive pregnancy test does not guarantee a baby.
So many people think that pregnancy equals a living, breathing infant. That is not always the case. I know, I've had five pregnancies and no living kids.
To have the joy of a positive test snatched away from you, and to be filled with dread at a positive vs excitement and hope....is quite the experience.
#26
That some husbands can become so disgusted by the birth that they never see you the same way again.
#27
After my C section/epidural, I could not pass gas and it hurt so much they put a tube in to release the build up. That is apparently very common. I'd never heard of it.
Jcbwyrd:
Happened to me too, the nurses called the tube a Red Robin.
#28
The intense night sweats after giving birth. This doesn't happen to every woman and it didn't happen to me until about a week later when I returned home from the hospital. But every time I would fall asleep I would wake up DRENCHED in sweat. I'm talking, able to wring your clothes out wet.
shucksme:
I dealt with night sweats with both of my babies. With my second, I mentioned something to my midwife. She quickly said that night sweats are due to low magnesium. Sure enough once I took my magnesium supplements again the night sweats got less till about a 7-10 after and they completely went away. About a month after starting supplementing I stopped thinking it wasn't necessary. Two nights later and I was once again in a puddle- literally.
Image credits: robinsparkles220
#29
There is a huge chance that you rip towards your a**s. But there is also a chance that you rip upwards. And rip your cl*t in the process.
#30
Just how many weird symptoms can crop up. I got gestational carpal tunnel, and I was like "....this is a thing?!?" (The temporarily increased amount of liquid in your body squeezes the median nerve as it passed through the carpal tunnel.)
And no one ever explained this one to me, but during the last trimester, I totally lost the ability to feel the air temperature and the ability to tell if I was hot or cold. It lasted until about 5 months post-partum.
#31
All the hair you lose in the months after giving birth. I had no idea and thought something was wrong.
SueDohNymn:
Same! I had twins and nursed both. One would be done in 2.3 seconds flat while the other (jaundiced but not enough for light therapy) dawdled for upwards of 30 minutes. Add that to the massive hair loss and I thought for certain my fast eater was depleting me and his brother of vital nutrients.
Thankfully the nurse provided me with an explanation (hair follicles won't release due to hormonal levels during pregnancy, so once those hormones leave, so does all that hair).
Ffs, if they had told me this from the get-go, I might not have been so ridiculously neurotic.
Image credits: Witty_Chicken_9307
#32
1. Don’t get too attached to your birth plan, because there’s a good chance that the whole thing will go out the window at any given moment.
2. No one warned me about the catheter.
trekkieminio:
I was NOT prepared for a catheter. Also YES to #1. Mine flipped at 35 weeks .. c-section it is!
HBJones1056:
The catheter was the singular most horrifying thing about the whole process for me.
Image credits: keatonpotat0es
#33
I feel like I was pretty prepared, but the one thing I didn't know about was how the nurses will "massage" your belly after giving birth to help the uterus go back down. I say "massage," but it's more like aggressively kneading dough.
#34
I felt like no one I knew told me about the first trimester exhaustion - I had it with both pregnancies. I literally felt like I did marathons daily for the first tri. Sooo sleepy no matter how much I slept/ate/drank.
Colla-Crochet:
Its so hard to describe the exhaustion too. I try and explain it as something leeching everything out of me. Ive been tired. ive been sleepy. This was... Something else.
Image credits: happyalex
#35
You may get back to your pre-pregnancy weight, but whether you return to your pre-pregnancy shape is a c**p shoot. My hips stayed wide, even at my lightest.
Postpartum depression can just…not go away. I’ve been dealing with intractable depression since 3 days after my son was born. He’s 18 now.
You will not know how to breastfeed (which you’ve probably heard). Neither will your baby. I mean, they’ll have a vague idea, but it takes practice to get it right.
Demand equal help from your partner immediately and don’t let up. He works all day? Well guess what? So do you. All that breastfeeding and changing diapers and cleaning is WORK. You deserve breaks, too. Take them, or he’ll assume you’re “doing fine” without them.
missaliss:
Breastfeeding is SO HARD! I was looking forward to it thinking it would be so magical and bonding, I even took a class about it to be prepared. Nope. it was so g*****n hard for me and so painful, I never got the hang of it and had to give up after a couple of months just for my sanity (major PPA). I pumped for another month and then gave that up too, that's a beast of its own!
At his first dentist appointment, the hygienist took one look and said, did you know he has a lip tie? Did you have difficulty breastfeeding? Would have been good to know in the trenches that we had that going against me too!
I will say though, despite my struggles, I am proud of how much nourishment I was able to give him for as long as I did. Our bodies are so cool. He's now a strong silly 4 year old so all in all, fed is best :)
Image credits: insertcaffeine
#36
Former post partum nurse here! (Now working in pediatrics) but the number of moms I would take care of that when breastfeeding were so distraught they weren’t producing enough milk and so became convinced they couldn’t breastfeed was too many. It usually takes about 3-5 days for milk to really come in, until then you’re really only producing drops (referred to as colostrum) and generally the baby doesn’t need much more than that, their stomachs are really only about the size of a marble.
Also, it’s not unusual in the first few days for baby’s weight to drop a bit, they will lose ideally less than 10% of their birth weight, but gain it back shortly after.
Puzzled_Respond_3335:
My lactation nurse told me I was failing my baby because my milk didn't come in, on Christmas Eve no less. I sobbed for hours.
Image credits: jpagel47
#37
That you also have to push out the placenta after you've pushed out the baby.
Impossible_Plum7101:
Or that in rare cases, the placenta can grow into the uterus and has to be pulled out by hand. 0/10 do not recommend.
Image credits: disasterology1000
#38
That’s it’s also totally normal to have zero symptom and have a healthy pregnancy. I was worried sick when I had no symptom (other than growing belly).
#39
If you get induced with pitocin, then get an epidural, even if you have high pain tolerance. It still may not work, and be prepared for that. Especially if you have the redhead gene. You may think you’re going to die from the unyielding pain, but eventually the baby will come out and everything is okay again. Ask me how I know!
#40
Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex or D-Mer. I would get it and it was so strange. I noticed a pattern of these feelings of dread whenever I would breast feed. I hated breast feeding because of it.
#41
Pregnancy is like 2nd puberty (b***s growing, mood swings, body changes). Postpartum is like early menopause (hot flashes, night sweats, hair loss, mood swings, body changes!).
#42
To listen to your body over the advice of a doctor. I gave birth at yale which is a teaching hospital and I lost count. How many doctors told me I was going to be there “all night” or even “a few days”. I tried to tell them multiple times. I felt immense pressure and felt like I needed to push, and they ignored me. “Not dilated enough!”
Their little textbooks said I’m not ready so I guess I’m not ready. Nobody told my son that though and he came out less than half an hour later. Delivered him myself.
#43
Yes, an epidural really helps—but putting it in (in all 3 births) for me was AWFUL. Not to scare anyone, but all of them felt like electrocuting snakes crawling through my back. Think it messed me up permanently. Know I am the odd one out though.
#44
No one told me that my n**ples would turn 9 shades darker and grow to twice their size. I’ve known 40 women who have given birth and not one has ever mentioned it.
#45
After the baby is born... you get superhero hearing. It makes going the movies OBNOXIOUS for awhile. You'll be able to hear gentle baby coos from 2 floors away between 3 walls... Also high alert status for crying from any child, along with the super high frequency to understand what kind of cry (fun, sad, hurt, hungry, tired, scared,) who is crying, AND have the ability to parkour your way to them fast if the situation calls for it. There's a reason you can see the videos where a parent somehow backflips over a car to catch a kid from going into the street.
Also, it is inevitable that your kid will fall down stairs. Usually a lot of 'em. And they'll be head over teakettle. And somehow, after some good hugs from their favorite person, check the pupils, move the wrists and ankles, etc... they'll be ABSOLUTELY FINE. Babies/toddlers are unbelievably resilient. Those bendy bones go a LONG way.
#46
Mucus plugs. All the movies show women being so shocked that their waters break and then it's time to go to the hospital. No one tells you that your cooch is gonna sneeze out a gnarly booger before that happens.
#47
Your waters breaking feels like a balloon popped between your hips.
Baby’s kicks feel like a baby kicking you. The whole “butterfly” feeling lasts like, a month tops. Then it’s just a whole a*s kid, kicking you from the inside out. It sounds magical, it get real old, real quick.
Be prepared to be an absolutely certifiable lunatic. I’m not an emotional person. I don’t have big feeling, and I certainly don’t cry in front of strangers. But here’s just a short list of some of the things that made me sob for minutes on end:
Fried chicken was good
The cat meowed at a bird through the window
The mars rover exists
A baby panda wasn’t born that day
A dollar store plastic spatula bent
My husband said “hello gorgeous”
The store DID have peanut butter ice cream
My ceiling fan was off when I wanted it on
Also, random strangers are going to touch you. And ask you very weird, very personal questions. For some reason there is a segment of the population that seems to view pregnant women as public property, like a park bench or a stop sign, and feel that they have a right, NAY! a duty! To comment and offer completely unsolicited and wildly unhelpful advice at any time. Learn the art of embarrassing them back. It’s hilarious.
If your belly skin itches, it means your skin is stretching a ton, put some goddam vitamin E oil on and DONT SCRATCH! That’s how you get those deep long stretch marks. Bath in that stuff!
#48
Pregnancy wise - the heartburn. Oh my God. Probably one of my worst symptoms. Plus not being able to eat anything tomato based (Inc pizza and pasta) was devastating.
PushThatDaisy:
Proton-pump inhibitors are the best invention ever, I struggled so badly with heartburn when expecting my first that I barely slept. This time around, a doc perscribed me Omeprazole (but it's available otc, at least in my part of the world) and it is a gaaaaaaame changer. No heartburn whatsoever, unless I forget my dose.
Image credits: Defiant_Poet_8022
#49
Regarding childbirth: The pooping during delivery was a secret 21 years ago, everyone probably knows now but I was surprised/horrified.
And as for pregnancy, I had no idea you could actually grow out of maternity clothes- almost nothing fit me by time I gave birth to my 1st (I had gained 60 lbs...don't worry, I was only 100# before pregnancy...seems like I needed the extra weight to carry a 10 lb baby) 🤣.
kembr12:
The pooping freaked me out. I was mortified.
Image credits: Unable_Pie_6393
#50
If I laugh too hard now I pee, I had a section so presumed I was safe, I laugh at now naive I was now.
acertaingestault:
This is controlled by your pelvic floor muscles which go through a lot supporting two bodies during pregnancy. You can fix this with the support of a pelvic floor physical therapist.
Image credits: Grouchy-Pea2514
#51
(At least for American women) An epidural is not your only pain management option. There are medications, nitrous oxide gas, and of course birthing positions which can all be used. The gas is amazing btw.
Contractions can sometimes be felt in your legs, without abdominal pain. Each woman, and each pregnancy, can be different in terms of how contractions are felt.
#52
Here’s one that happened to me, and apparently 3% of other pregnant people:
PELVIC VARICOSITIES, or varicose veins in your pelvic region—including inside your v****a—which can burst when you deliver the baby.
I had at least two varicose veins inside my v****a burst when my daughter was born, the moment she left the birth canal. The friction of her sliding out tore open the varicose veins and I nearly bled to death after an extremely low-drama pregnancy and labour up to that point. The torn veins also contributed to a very extensive but superficial tear almost into my a**s. I needed 30+ stitches to fix me up, inside my v****a, and all down my perineum. Luckily, I had no muscle involvement, and my continence was never affected.
#53
Not about pregnancy/birth but about the after post partum period. Nobody ever talks about it, but as someone almost 2 years PP you still get phantom baby kicks sometimes that'll scare the hell out of you randomly! Didn't start until about 6 months PP when hormones started settling back down, but it's absolutely wild and makes you second guess every period you have afterwards!
scherre:
Oh yeah, that is a strange one. My youngest kid is now 18 and my husband had a vasectomy while I was pregnant with him and I still occasionally get that happen. I think after about 10 years or so I started to trust that the vasectomy had actually worked ;)
mammerman168:
I’ve had a hysterectomy and my husband has had a vasectomy. Never fails that when I get that feeling I automatically think “oh s**t”. Then I come to my senses. I have 5 kids. We wanted to be really sure we had no more. :)
Image credits: TheGhostestHostess
#54
There is a lot more liquid involved than you might think.
#55
I am going to pick a weird one because I was speaking with someone it happened to.
You can suddenly become deathly allergic to something you have never been allergic to before.
The person I was speaking to had consumed dairy her entire life. When she was pregnant, she was able to consume dairy through most of it. Towards the end she was sent to the ER after having a glass of chocolate milk.
She found out that even after she gave birth, she was still allergic to dairy and said she missed it every day.
SuzuranRose:
The reverse is also true. I became allergic to peanuts in my early 20s. One nurse told me hormonal birth control can often cause allergies. I had an accidental exposure during pregnancy and didn't have a reaction and even after going on birth control again after birth didn't retrigger it. So I was fine with peanuts until 23, couldn't have them until 28, and now can have them again with no issues.
Thank goodness because pb&j is my go to when I know I need to eat but don't have the energy to make myself anything.
Image credits: Technical-Banana574
#56
After a certain point in your pregnancy it’s this fun game of “is this pee, my water breaking, or discharge”, for the rest of the 3rd trimester I had to wear those disposable underwear diaper things because my baby would kick and I’d pee myself a lil bit.
#57
A happy one I didn’t realize until my second pregnancy: babies move differently. My first was a kicker and would regularly get hiccups. He was always moving. The second hardly kicked, but she liked to stretch and roll. Also when they get big you can see them move. I remember the horror in a colleague’s face when he happened to glance over as a little foot pushed out and traveled down my stomach.
#58
If you have a parenting partner, they will show their true colors. Some men can be good or okay partners without children, and pretty terrible partners with children. They can’t cope with the added workload, lack of time for themselves if they actually help parent, and not being the focus of your attention. It can be a surprise and it really sucks to learn at such a vulnerable time.
#59
NOT one person told me a think about PPD! NOT ONE! And I thought I was nuts! I had no idea. This was 1983! They called it, The baby blues.
No one told me that I might want to k**l myself in the shower and that I needed to seek help, and that I wasn't NUTS!
#60
Sometimes the meds don’t work. Happened to my mom during her C-section, which is why I’m never having children.
#61
Your husband/partner will very likely leave you. The high percentage of folks who realize they’re in too deep is astonishing, and it doesn’t matter if you vowed “through sickness and health” or that you’ve known them for so long so well.
Having a kid messes with not just the brain of someone having a baby, but the other responsible person as well; the difference is THEY CAN JUST F*****G LEAVE YOU with this new life to take care of, and live their life regardless.
#62
Breastfeeding HURTS. The first week or two felt like someone was slicing my nipples open with razor blades.
#63
Emergency C section that you will be shivering cold uncontrolled and it is another level of mind f**k to feel your body pulled side to side being numb so you know there's supposed to be pain. Until the numbness wears off...there's traumatic levels associated with my unexpected emergency C. I wish more told me or warned me about.
#64
How humiliating and dehumanizing it is. If you want a baby (and even if you don’t want it now) you have to allow everyone that went to medical school and wants to, to look at and touch you.
#65
Contractions are far more painful than pushing the baby out!! Why did I spend my whole life fearing pushing a baby out my v****a when that’s the best part?!?!
#66
Blocked milk duct. OMGOSH😬.
#67
Excess saliva, restless legs at night, indigestion, exhaustion and swollen everything during pregnancy!
#68
Postpartum constipation is common.
Include fiber and water in your diet to avoid getting a**l fissures.
#69
Not a woman but the baby having the father's blood type was an unexpected pregnancy risk. She had to get the rhogram shot. Crazy how many women may have either lost a baby because of it or run the risk of losing it not going to the doctor early on.
#70
The extreme shoulder gas pains I got after my c-sections. NO one told me about those. I thought I was having a heart attack!
#71
That it’s okay to absolutely f*****g hate every waking moment of being pregnant but still want to have the baby.
#72
How horrible some women feel when their birth doesn’t go as planned.
How jealous and sad you feel when hearing about someone who had the birth you wanted but didn’t get.
#73
Postpartum, especially the newborn period, is insanely hard. I was so worried about the pregnancy and the birth, and then they handed me this tiny fragile creature, the most precious and valuable thing I have ever had, and said it was time to take it home. I was somehow not prepared for the terror of that. Birth is a day, or days, tops.
But also, man did I feel incredible after those miserable months of pregnancy.
#74
It is the loneliest, most physically and emotionally taxing experience.
#75
1) The bone weary exhaustion of pregnancy. I was prepared for nausea, not the utter exhaustion.
2) I stopped sleeping through the night in my first trimester because I had to pee so often.
3) pooping during birth. It will happen. You care a lot before labor and not at all when you're in the midst of things.
4) bleeding for 6 weeks post partum. That pissed me off so much. I was so unprepared for a 6 week period on top of recovering from childbirth
5) even if your get back to your pre pregnancy weight, it all ends up in different places.
#76
1. I expected the ring of fire to be the v****a. It’s not. It’s your b******e.
2. Your partner can also get postpartum depression.
#77
During labor, you think you are going to die.
#78
Pregnancy and childbirth CAN come with a honeymoon period during the pregnancy and after the birth. They always talk about how hard it is on a partnership and it is but my husband and I get closer during pregnancy and felt more flirty and in love than ever after the birth of our first... we'll see how it goes with our second.
#79
That even with an epidural, you're going to feel transition. (Baby head coming through). All three babies I had, i had an epidural. All three worked great until it came to the final moment of push... The head... There is a sharp pop that you (Well I) feel, even with the meds going. But then its so quick the shoulders follow and the baby is out and suddenly there is the sweet beautiful baby grabbing at your chest and making the sweetest sounds, that you forget about that pain in the moment.... Each baby, transition surprised me.. i thought i would get slightly used to it by last and final baby 3.. but nope. Just as intense each time and just as quickly forgotten when i got my baby in my arms.
#80
I didn't know that I would vomit after getting the epidural placed...that was unexpected and went everywhere. I was crying and apologizing to the nurse who held out her hands for my puke. The L&D nurses are angels.
#81
You're growing two new bodies minimum, yours and the babies. Your body , your brain, your emotions, get ready for a whole new person to come out on the other side.
you just might like them or not.
Oh and sometimes the baby don't like you. It took a year for my oldest to tolerate me. She only wanted Daddy.
#82
Nausea during labor, especially during transition. If you don't want to barf, you can have Zofran. Super easy and very low risk, will keep you from puking on top of everything else.
#83
How physically strong you need to be pre-baby and during pregnancy, in order to be able to have a decent recovery. Unfortunately, your hormones and how your body reacts to them will play a big role in the recovery. But the stronger you are the better.
And also... PPD .... The sudden hate, rage.... and helplessness.
#84
How your body reacts is going to be so predictable and yet so unpredictable. Like yeah, lots of the stuff you’ll see coming, and then you might get some random side effect that’s the exact opposite of everyone else’s experience like your insomnia being cured. It really is a whole rollercoaster you absolutely cannot predict completely lol.
#85
Restless leg syndrome.
iloveyourlittlehat:
Before I was pregnant I thought it was one of those “diseases” they invented to sell meds.
Nope.
#86
Just gave birth. I knew automatically when my waters broke because there was no denying the obvious balloon pop sensation. What no body warned me about was with every contraction I gushed more liquid out. It wasn't a one time gush. Made getting to the hospital harder because I wasn't sure how to contain the gushes. My husband "slinged" me with a towel between my legs and helped me walk with the c****h sling. There was no denying what was happening when I got to the hospital front doors.
I also broke out in tons of tiny little skin tags all over my neck and chest. Theyre little and cant see them but I can feel them. Apparently a normal pregnant thing.
#87
You need to be vocal about what you need help with. Your partner has no clue what to do either. They need instructions and insight. This will alleviate your resentment and the build up of anger. Your sanity depends on your ability to communicate.
#88
People tell you Cervical checks aren't necessary. They are if you want them to admit you to the hospital.
I refused Cervical checks at first. I knew I was in labor.. I was screaming in pain from contractions every 2 minutes... but they said unless I let them check me and I'm 6cm dilated, they wouldn't help me.
I told them I was s****************d in the past and wasn't comfortable with it. They wouldn't let my husband be with me yet either. So they waited until I gave up that fight. I let them do one and it was the worst part of the ENTIRE experience. It hurt like HELL and I had to have them stop before they felt how dilated I was. The doctor finally came in and said we will give you fentanyl and an epidural. Once I got that, and they let my husband be with me, I let them do another Cervical check. I didn't feel a thing. I was 6 cm. Delivered my baby 8 hours later.
#89
Honestly? How judgy people are. The opinions upon opinions really stressed me out. Women are such bullies sometimes.
#90
The struggle with breast feeding. I thought you plopped the baby on the b**b and that was it. It was such a struggle with all four of mine I ended up switching to formula faster with each one. With my last two I was homeschooling my oldest two so it was just easier to use formula. It made me so sad.
#91
How tired I got after my unmedicated birth. It was blessedly quick, but afterwards all I wanted was to sleep, and really felt guilty for not being fully present for the newborn.
#92
That the baby can just start going out without your active pushing or any control. You literally can't stop. It's like a truck hit you from the inside and is trying to get out.
#93
How hard it is to walk or sit in the days after giving birth.
#94
1. When your water breaks, it's like a complete gush everywhere. Before my pregnancy, I thought they must add water tubes during the third trimester and didn't realize it was natural.
2. They don't put the baby in the nursery like in movies. They put the baby beside you and the child screams 24/7, so you can't sleep at all!
