Well God knows why Mr Cobber has agreed to it, everybody knows he hates millennials even more than he hates poor people and foreigners and the BBC and high information voters asking stupid effing questions. Plus tv debates, obvs. But now we are literally counting sleeps to the Buzzfeed interview #win #lol #omg #training24/7. Dave was like, help me out here babes, you went to art college, should I do competence or chaos or will Generation Snapchaterama be more interested in my long-term economic plan? I’m like tbh I think there is still a lot of love for cats?
Mr Cobber is like, listen mate, Generation Cumberbatch does not vote, all it cares about is selficles & sexting on YouBoob, I’m like *tactful face* YouTube, Mr Cobber, he’s like, & Kimmie Kardashian, am I right, seen the arse on her Dave, phwooooooarrrgh, no offence Sabrina, and that Zoella’s another lovely young girl, what do low information young voters drink Sabs? I’m like, Jagerbombs? Dave’s like, no babes, you are thinking of the Goveys. I’m like, well IDK, who do we know who is young? Dave’s like, Jo Johnson LOOKS young, I’m like, so text him, he’s like, tbh I am not sure he knows how to text, plus he is incredibly busy injecting some of our infectious optimism and joie de vivre into the manifesto, I’m like, FGS, babes, did I not literally TELL you it needed more emojis? OK quick fire practice, who broke the internet, what’s your go-to meme, how do you pronounce gif, best ever clickbait, fave life hack, your take on #thatdress?
Dave’s like, srsly Lynton, are you SURE BuzzFeed will not ask about unemployment, Mr Cobber’s like, downerrr, Dave’s like, or the NHS, Mr Cobber’s like, lalala I can’t hear you, so Dave goes, or maybe tax avoidance, Mr Cobber is like, oh please, I’m dying of boredom, shoot me now, Dave’s like, OK, immigration – Mr Cobber’s like, OMG I cannot believe you just said that what are you like? Dave’s like, soz Lynton, it will not happen again. I’m like, look babes, if you HAVE to talk about politics #boringsnoring #epicfail, just say the 23 great things you are doing for young people. OK, five things. One? Oh.
