Tuesday, and a fresh batch of celebrity magazines blows onto the stands, while out back, their tatty predecessors are bundled up ready to be pulped.
Dame Showbiz has turned her wheel again.
Immediate highlights? On a quick first scan, Closer's photoshoot with Ingrid Tarrant looks the one to beat this week, with its hilarious headline - "I'm so over Chris!" - allowing only one response.
Namely: then what the hell are you doing trussed up in a basque and fishnets in Closer magazine?
Perched atop six inch platforms, the estranged wife of the Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Host allows her corset lacing to strain suggestively as she explains that she in no way regrets her recent fish odour 'n' impotence kiss 'n' tell - a moving requiem to her marriage which will currently be ensuring breaktime is her teenage son's favourite part of the school day. And, in a bitingly satirical reference to her husband's TV programme, Ingrid underlines the fact she has moved on from him with the words "and that's my final answer!"
Oh Ingrid, Ingrid, Ingrid... If only it WERE the last we'd hear from you on the subject. But something tells Lost in Showbiz you're not nearly done breaking your silence, and we can only adivse you to approach the next phase mindful that revenge is a dish best not served in a bikini.
