Blame the parents. According to Anne Longfield, the children’s commissioner, one reason that there is a gap in educational attainment between teenagers in the north and the south is because northern parents are not as pushy as their southern counterparts. Apparently, there just isn’t the same appetite for Mandarin lessons, excellence in the hockey team or whatever other stereotype has been thrown at pushy mothers (and it is mothers who are overwhelmingly judged, of course).
“As northern parents, we need to be aware of these inconsistencies and variations in secondary schools and push hard for our schools to show how they are improving and helping our children to achieve,” Longfield said, prior to the publication of her report Growing Up North. “One of the real drivers of improvements of schools in London has been the demand for good school results from parents and children. There is much we northern parents can learn about this parent power.”
Here, then, is a guide to how to be a pushy southern parent to help your northern child:
Get your child a private tutor
According to the Sutton Trust, 42% of state-educated children in London have had private tuition, compared with 13% in the north-west and 16% in Yorkshire. Obviously, you’ll need a better-paid job to pay for it, so question why George Osborne’s promised “northern powerhouse” seems to have stalled, why growth in London is twice that of the north, and why net wealth across the UK is rising, but has fallen in the north-east. Those extra-curricular maths lessons won’t pay for themselves.
Make your child learn a musical instrument
It’s a fact that every child south of Newport Pagnell services has at least grade-six oboe. Making your child learn a musical instrument is, apparently, the hallmark of a pushy parent, as opposed to a skill that contributes to wellbeing. Ignore the fact that music lessons in schools have long been underfunded, and that half of primary school music teachers say they don’t have the resources to teach music. Instead, pay an average of £30 an hour for music lessons. You’ll be able to afford it once the northern powerhouse heats up, although your child may by then be in their 40s.
Send your child to school in the south
Many northern schools are struggling. As Longfield appears to suggest, this could be because of a comparative lack of so-called tiger mothers. Or, as Michael Wilshaw, head of the schools watchdog, Ofsted, said last week, it might have more to do with the government’s failure to improve schools or recruit and train enough good teachers. Or, as the Institute for Public Policy Research found, it could be because northern primary schools are funded an average of £900-a-pupil less than in London, and £1,300-a-pupil less in secondary schools. But let’s stick with the idea that northern schools could buck up if only northern parents were a bit pushier.
