Noel Edmonds might not be a name you'd readily associate with high technology. Beards? Yes. Woolly jumpers? Yes. Huge, pink, spotty creatures that scream a lot and throw on-screen wobblies? Of course.
But like the scads of bedroom developers who have been excited by the rise of the iPhone, Edmonds has decided to get in on the act and put his name to a new downloadable mobile application.
But the veteran presenter isn't offering you a game of Deal or No Deal - the quiz show that brought him back in from the cold - or even linking up to other programmes he's involved in, such as Noel's HQ and Are You Smarter Than a 10 Year Old?.
Nope, instead of that, he's offering you the chance to spend £1.19 of your hard-earned as a way of joining in with the idea of "cosmic ordering" - the bizarre system of belief that he says is responsible for his return to television.
Cosmic ordering is a fantastic bit of woo that baffles me: it basically boils down to a wishlist that has had a strange spiritual dimension added to it - essentially, you tell the universe what you want and then... well... you get it.
(Edmonds says that "Belief and trust in the power of the Cosmos gives even the most chaotic life a new sense of order and purpose")
It seems to me to combine both the fact that measuring something (like your desires) increases the likelihood of success and the fact that adherents are likely to attribute any successes to the Cosmos that would, in their past, have been the result of old-fashioned coincidence or hard work. Please, save me from the woo.
Anyway, back to the app itself. What do you get for your cash?
The description in the press release in front of me sounds disappointingly like a note-taking system. Keep track of what you want, and whether you achieve it. Except, and here's the incredible part: it also lets you place cosmic orders.
The rest of us call it a to-do list.
Noel Edmonds calls it a hotline to cosmic room service, and charges you more than a quid for the privilege of using it.
