Wag weddings

John O'Reilly couldn't believe his luck when the local multiplex decided to run this toaster about Steven Gerrard's wedding pictures. Photograph: John O'Reilly

Vina Paddy reckons Stevie's unimpressed with the new Mrs G's cooking. "Alex's insistence on catering the wedding herself forced Steve to fall back on the finger bowl." Photograph: Vina Paddy

"The two eldest Wags cried out in vain for the return of their surrogate mother, Posh, who had long since flown the money-filled nest for the warmer climes of Los Angeles," guffaws Neil Ardiff. Photograph: Neil Ardiff

"John Terry's hit the jackpot," reveals Roy Ward, as JT strolls away from his rendezvous with OK's snappers. "Here you see him making off with the only money in football that Pini Zahavi doesn't get a slice of." Photograph: Roy Ward

Ian Hudson picked up this special commemorative wedding strip on his most recent visit to Liverpool's club shop. Photograph: Ian Hudson

"Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Wayne arranges the classiest wedding he can think of," chortles John Leonard. Photograph: John Leonard

Roo and Coleen couldn't decide between Stevie G and Che Neville's weddings - so instead they hit them both. "It's wedding season baby!" cries John Barry. Photograph: John Barry

"Guide the bride as she fights off rivals, the club manager and bad hair days on her quest to reach the Premiership footballer," booms Stephen Curley in his review of Premiership Gold Digger - The Game (out now on Commodore 64). Photograph: Stephen Curley