W.E. takes a bow at the London film festival – in pictures

Madonna graced glamorous Leicester Square with her presence for the premiere of WE, her movie about why she loves horrible old Wallis Simpson. To mark the occasion she wore a necklace with the film’s name, which is both sweet and embarrassing Photograph: Mike Marsland/WireImage

Oh, thank God. I was just thinking the one thing a premiere of a movie defending a snobby old friend of Hitler’s needs is a celebrity guest who has a tendency to say politically daft and offensively stupid statements. Hello, MIA! Photograph: Fred Duval/FilmMagic

No, this is not a giant walnut. This is an actual human being. His name is Valentino and he used to make dresses. He also, fact fans, stepped on my foot at the premiere and – let me tell you – that man weighs more than a walnut Photograph: Dave Hogan/Getty Images

Oh look, it’s professional pretty person Liberty Ross, dressed as Morticia Addams and making a possibly masonic symbol with her hand. Judging by her gritted-teeth smile, it’s a symbol that says: 'Bring the car round the back – obviously I’m going to sneak out once the lights go down. Why do you think I wore black? You didn’t think I was going to watch this rubbish, did you? There are parties all over London that urgently need to be graced with my prettiness! Also, Downton’s on'
Photograph: Dave M Benett/Getty Images

This gentleman is Laurence 'husband of Billie Piper' Fox, belatedly realising that he is playing a role for which Colin Firth won the Oscar last year. Look in his eyes. You can see the maw of hell
Photograph: Dave Hogan/Getty Images

James D’Arcy plays the constipated King Edward/Duke of Windsor in the film and has to say things such as 'Wallis, I adore you!' without laughing. D’Arcy, interestingly, is the love child of Benedict Cumberbatch and Ralph Fiennes. True story! Photograph: Jon Furniss/WireImage

Madonna really is a very natural director. Just look at her making sure that Laurence Fox adjusts Andrea Riseborough’s silly dress just right. Madonna also appears to have a very large object in her mouth. Well, either that or something has gone seriously, seriously wrong at her last appointment. Her dentist appointment, I mean, what did you think I meant? Photograph: Joel Ryan/AP

'Whoo! I just made a film glorifying a silly old snobby lady who socialised with Hitler and the critics have rained their wrath on me! Back of the net!'
Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features/Richard Young/Rex Features