Monday
In this referendum debate, you take your heroes where you find them. When Steve Hilton was David Cameron’s barefoot director of strategy at No 10 in the early days of the coalition, most of the rightwing media liked to characterise him as an establishment space cadet.
Now that he’s declared himself a paid-up member of the Brexit camp, those same newspapers are branding him an anti-establishment guru for our times. That Hilton has been so vocal recently of course has nothing to do with his having the paperback version of his book More Human to promote.
In case you missed it, here’s a brief summary: “Deep down, we are all human, and if only we could get away from some of the things that make us less human, we could all be a bit more human … We need not be frightened of the future. Not all technology is bad. Google, where my wife, Rachel, is a senior executive, is an example of a positive force for change, because children can expand their minds by looking at pictures of the Amazon rainforest as well as porn. Vote Steve. A better world is a Hiltworld.”
Tuesday
The Chelsea flower show is like entering two parallel universes. If your only contact with the show is via the newspapers and TV it can appear as if it is a playground for royalty and minor celebs to be photographed and for designers to witter on about the tranquillity of a green space that doesn’t look too different from any other green space while the judges dock points for a lupin being planted in the wrong place. But go there and you’ll find people who couldn’t give a toss which garden ends up with a gold medal and have just turned up because they love plants.
The first time I went, I went berserk at 5pm on the Friday when the show ended and bought up huge quantities of flowering plants that the exhibitors were flogging off rather than taking home. For about a week, my garden looked magnificent and then they all died at the same time, leaving it a wasteland.
Wednesday
The Institute for Fiscal Studies is the latest respected economic thinktank to be rubbished by the Vote Leave campaigners for having predicted that leaving the EU would make Britain worse off in the short term. This isn’t the first time the IFS has been accused of bias. Over the years it has been criticised by the Tories and Labour for having the temerity to question their economic data; which probably makes it about as independent as these kinds of organisations can get.
For the record, the IFS costed each party’s manifesto pledges before the last election. Their overall findings were that no party would have passed a GCSE economics paper on the basis of their arithmetic. The Tories’ numbers may have been by far the worst, the SNP may have been imposing greater austerity than Labour, but there were huge gaps in everyone’s figures.
Nothing came close to adding up, everyone would have to borrow more and tax more than they claimed, and most of the unprotected government departments would barely exist by 2019. Just so you know.
Thursday
It’s fair to assume Alan Sugar’s appointment as the government’s new enterprise tsar has more to do with him having been the frontman for the Apprentice on television for the past 10 years than for his career in building amplifiers and computers that didn’t always work very well as well as satellite dishes for Sky.
The government and the BBC could so easily have done worse; Lord Sugar got the Apprentice gig only after Sir Philip Green turned it down – presumably because it would play havoc with his wife’s tax exile arrangements in Monaco.
Just think, the Beeb and the government could have ended up with an enterprise tsar who had flogged BHS to a declared bankrupt for £1. As it is, we’ve merely got a tsar whose principal achievement has been to launch the career of Katie Hopkins.
Friday
The worst kept secret in football is out: José Mourinho has been confirmed as the new manager of Manchester United.
According to some reports, the Special One has been on the United payroll for the past three months so it was no surprise Louis van Gaal looked to be the most miserable manager to lift the FA Cup since the competition began in 1871.
The bigger mystery is what took Mourinho so long, as he was in the frame for the job when Sir Alex Ferguson stood down. Some cynics reckoned Fergie cared more about preserving his legacy than continuing the club’s success and was keen to hand over to David Moyes, a manager with no experience of running a big club.
Still, now that Mourinho and Manchester United are an item, almost every football fan in the country will be desperate for them to fail.
Digested week, digested:
With or without EU
