And with that, I’m gone. It’s been invigorating. Bye!
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Here’s the Press Association’s hot take on the Arsenal game:
Arsenal secured top spot in their Europa League group as a much-changed side coasted to a 3-0 Europa League victory against Vorskla Poltava in sub-zero Kiev.
The Group E fixture was moved 185 miles east [editor’s note: it’s actually west] of Poltava to the capital’s Olympic Stadium, with parts of Ukraine under martial law as political tensions with Russia continue to rise.
The call to relocate the game was made on Tuesday evening, with Vorskla particularly unhappy with Uefa’s decision and official confirmation that the match would take place at all not coming from the governing body until six hours before kick-off.
Any inconvenience for Unai Emery and his players did not show as youngsters Emile Smith Rowe and Joe Willock scored either side of an Aaron Ramsey penalty to confirm a win in temperatures that dropped as low as minus 10 degrees.
The last English side to play in the Olympic Stadium were Liverpool as they lost last season’s Champions League final to Real Madrid but this contest - watched by a minimal crowd - was never going to live up to such an occasion.
Arsenal handed a first start to teenage striker Eddie Nketiah as Emery made 10 changes, with only Rob Holding retaining his place from Sunday’s Premier League win at Bournemouth.
Academy graduate Willock was also given a rare chance to impress as Ainsley Maitland-Niles started for the first time since the opening day of the season, while Petr Cech returned in goal to captain the Gunners.
It was Vorskla who crafted the first half-chance of the evening, Iurli Kolomoets firing over from an acute angle after latching onto a free-kick before Cech fumbled a long-range effort from Volodymyr Chesnakov as the nominal home side started brightly.
That early work was undone as Smith Rowe handed Arsenal an 11th-minute lead, turning home at the back-post after smart work from both Ramsey and Nketiah.
Ramsey doubled the advantage shortly before the half-hour mark as he won and converted a penalty - the Wales international going down after minimal contact from Vorskla defender Igor Perduta before coolly converting the spot-kick.
The points, and first place in the group, were sealed when Willock tucked home his first senior goal after latching onto Mohamed Elneny’s pass.
Nketiah drew a save out of Bohdan Shust at the start of the second half, with Smith Rowe seeing a second of the night eventually ruled out for offside after he turned home Stephan Lichtsteiner’s deflected cross.
Emery used the opportunity to blood more academy talent as Zech Medley, Bukayo Sako and Charlie Gilmour were introduced from the bench on a night where Arsenal got the job done despite all the uncertainty over the game.
Topping the group ensures the Gunners will be seeded for the round-of-32 draw and will face a runner-up from another Europa League group or one of the four sides with the worst records who drop down from the Champions League.
This match is over but the night is still young, and Paul Doyle is all over Chelsea v PAOK:
So Arsenal and Sporting both qualify from Group E, and given Arsenal’s better head-to-head record against the Portuguese they will win the group and can play as many promising teenagers as they like when they host Qarabag in their final game in a fortnight.
Talking of wildly one-sided matches, Sporting have won 6-1 at Qarabag.
Final score: Vorskla 0-3 Arsenal
90+4 mins: And that’s it! Arsenal were red hot in the ice cold, and cantered to victory in a wildly one-sided match.
90+3 mins: Now Vorskla attack, and the ball is passed to Careca, in a bit too much space 20 yards from goal, but his shot curls well wide.
90+2 mins: Good late high pressing from Arsenal eventually wins the ball back, and Elneny passes to Nketiah who gets into the area, spins and sends a left-foot shot across goal and wide.
90+1 mins: There will be some four minutes of stoppage time, and they start with an Arsenal corner.
90 mins: Another Arsenal chance: Saka passes to Willock, who sees the goalkeeper advancing and shoots straight into him rather than lifting it over the top.
89 mins: Arsenal’s lead on shots is only 12-11, but the majority of Vorskla’s have been from distance, and absolutely dire. They have only had two shots on target.
86 mins: The physio is on, with Willock a bit ball-dazed.
85 mins: Nketiah weaves his way to the byline on the right and blasts the ball across goal. Perduta tries to clear, but blasts the ball into the face of the onrushing Willock, and it bounces wide.
81 mins: Chesnakov has a wild shot from range. In fact the ball hit Jenkinson in the arm rather than the face, but his arm was covering his chest and there was no arm-to-ball movement, so the penalty appeals were rebuffed.
80 mins: Vorskla somehow fail to convert an excellent position into a shot on target, with Careca getting the ball stuck between his feet and when it breaks to a team-mate, the shot hits Jenkinson in the face.
79 mins: It would be fair to say that this game is lacking somewhat in competitive edge.
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77 mins: Nketiah bursts down the left, leaves the defence eating dust and then messes up his pass inside and Vorskla clear.
77 mins: Arsenal’s final change sees them bring Gilmour on for Guendouzi.
75 mins: Cech though is having his busiest spell of the match. This time he races from his area to clear a through-ball.
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74 mins: Shust is in action again, this time saving from Saka, who controls nicely, shuffles the ball away from his feet and then shoots at the near post.
72 mins: Kolomoets is booked for tripping Maitland-Niles.
71 mins: Chances for both teams, and saves from both keepers! Perduta has a great chance for Vorskla but Cech comes out to get his body in the way, and then Arsenal run down the other end and Smith-Rowe has an effort beaten away.
70 mins: Bad news for upset fans: Milan, who were 2-1 down at home to Luxembourg no-hopers Dudelange with half an hour to play, have come back to lead 3-2.
68 mins: A second Arsenal substitution sees Ramsey trudge off, and Saka come on.
67 mins: GOAL! No, disallowed! Lichtsteiner crosses from the right, Chesnakov leaves it for Dallku, Dallku leaves it for Chesnakov, and in the end it bounces unmolested through to Smith-Rowe, who converts at the far post. Nketiah though was offside in the middle, and being marked by one of those two, and so it’s chalked off.
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64 mins: The referee has just had to exchange his free-kick-assisting pitch-marking spray for one that hasn’t frozen solid. This is not a good sign.
63 mins: Arsenal work Guendouzi into a decent crossing position on the right, but his cross is wildly overhit, and also curls out of play on its way across and out for a throw-in.
60 mins: Zech Medley comes on, making his Arsenal debut in place of Holding.
59 mins: Another Vorskla shot flies well high of goal, though Artur’s 35-yarder was also well wide.
55 mins: Dallku hits a dipping volley from 23 yards, and it would have been an absolute beauty had the goal been another five yards taller.
54 mins: Holding is booked for using his arms when jumping for a header when there were lots of green shirts around.
53 mins: Chance! Willock steals the ball from Artur and plays in Nketiah, whose finish is very weak when he really should have scored.
52 mins: Nketiah runs between two defenders, who pretty much usher him through, but Ramsey is a couple of inches offside when the pass comes.
50 mins: Arsenal look a fine, confident team now. It took a goal or two for the level of their superiority to manifest itself, but it’s now pretty glaring*.
* I apologise in advance for the inevitable Vorskla comeback.
47 mins: Arsenal win a corner, which Holding reaches first and flicks over the bar.
46 mins: Peeeeeep! They’re off! Again!
The players are back out! In other news, Micheal Jacob emails to tell me that Danny John-Jules is Tyreece’s uncle.
“A bit of showbiz trivia for you,” writes Matt Emerson. “Tyreece John-Jules (Arsenal sub tonight) is the son of Danny John-Jules, once of Red Dwarf and recently on Strictly.”
This does appear to be true:
Tyreece John-Jules on the way to Romania for his England U16 Debut. #dominica #dynasty #negmawon #nouskaparlecreole pic.twitter.com/6L09uyD4cD
— Danny John-Jules🇩🇲 (@DannyJohnJules) August 21, 2016
A thoroughly satisfactory half for the away side, who now have 15 minutes of centrally-heated comfort in which to bask in the virtual warmth of a comfortable lead.
Half time: Vorskla 0-3 Arsenal
45+2 mins: Nothing happened.
45+1 mins: There will only be one minute of stoppage time, unless something exciting happens.
45 mins: Elneny gives the ball away this time, hitting it straight into Kulach who then runs away and, from 25 yards and with just empty grass between him and Petr Cech, wildly miscues a shot into the stands.
GOAL! Vorskla 0-3 Arsenal (Willock, 41 mins)
Elneny intercepts the ball in midfield and passes swiftly to Willock, who approaches the area and, with Dallku backing off, curls it deliciously inside the far post!
40 mins: Chesnakov manages to trip Maitland-Niles and Ramsey with the same action on the half-way line, a quite spectacular achievement. The referee only gives one free kick.
39 mins: Vorskla win a free-kick on the right, and though it’s not a very good one Smith-Rowe totally slices his clearance and the ball skims off the top of his foot and only just out of the reach of Kolomoets. Cech collects.
36 mins: An early change for Vorskla: Careca, a burly Brazilian striker, is on, and Sapai is off.
33 mins: Now Nketia runs into the area, Shust hares out into no-man’s land and Nketia spots him off his line, gets over-excited and spears a shot wide.
33 mins: From the free-kick Lichtsteiner plays in Willock, who blasts a shot towards the near-post which Shust saves.
32 mins: Now Sharpar is booked, for bringing down Willock from behind, though it seemed unintentional.
29 mins: Skliar runs up and down Vorskla’s right flank fouling people. First Smith-Rowe is left on the floor, and then Maitland-Niles is bundled over. The man is waging a one-man war against the double-barrelled name, but eventually the referee brings his reign of chaos to a close, and also books him.
GOAL! Vorskla 0-2 Arsenal (Ramsey, 27 mins)
Ramsey takes a slow, verging on the Pogba-esque run-up before Shust moves slightly to his right, and the ball promptly whistles to his left! Shust is’t happy with the run-up, but the referee ignores his loud complaints.
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Penalty to Arsenal!
26 mins: Ramsey dances around the penalty area for a while before running into/being run into by Perduta, and the referee blows his whistle!
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25 mins: Arsenal hog the ball for a while, though they spend most of that time passing it across their back line. Finally they push up the left wing, get to the edge of the area, and then turn back and pass it back to their defence again.
23 mins: Maitland-Niles runs into the box, jinks past a defender but a heavy touch sends the ball running into the arms of Shust.
21 mins: There has been a prolonged spell of play inside Arsenal’s half, but never very near their penalty area.
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18 mins: Arsenal win a free kick just outside the right-hand corner of the penalty area, and Ramsey shoots over the bar.
17 mins: Qarabag have equalised against Sporting, and as it stands Arsenal will win the group with a game to spare. They now sit five points ahead of Sporting, who were in second place even when I foolishly said they had taken the lead of the group.
15 mins: Close! Sharpar plays in Kulach, but he’s just offside. It’s just as well, as he was running into the area and the situation seemed extremely perilous, though just as the whistle went he threw himself to the ground in an extremely optimistic attempt to win a penalty, so in all likelihood nothing would have come of it.
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14 mins: Sapai sends in a tasty cross from the right, but Jenkinson heads clear.
11 mins: Ramsey and Nketiah linked up very nicely on the edge of the area, but the Arsenal man then ran into a couple of defenders, somehow failed to lose the ball, one of them then finally got a toe to it but only sent it running across the area to Emile Smith-Rowe, and he hit it into an unguarded net!
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GOAL! Vorskla 0-1 Arsenal (Smith-Rowe, 11 mins)
And with shattering inevitability, Arsenal immediately score.
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10 mins: Arsenal are yet to achieve much in an attacking sense in this opening period. They have probably had an equal share of possession, but Vorskla are moving the ball quicker and with greater ambition.
8 mins: Meanwhile in tonight’s other Group E game, Sporting have taken an early lead against Qarabag. As it stands the Portuguese team leads the group. UPDATE: This actually wasn’t true even then.
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6 mins: More chances! The corner goes to Chesnakov, beyond the far post, who controls and sends in a shot that is so inaccurate it ends up back at the feet of the corner-taker, who sends it back into the area where Chesnakov has a low shot that Cech holds at the second attempt.
5 mins: Now Vorskla win a corner but it could have been more, at least until Jenkinson got ahead of Kulach
3 mins: Chance! It’s played in towards the near post, where Kolomoets gets ahead of Elneny and has a free swing at the ball, which he launches into orbit.
2 mins: An early stoppage while Sklyar receives treatment for an injury sustained while kicking an Arsenal player. The referee gave a free kick for it, though.
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1 min: Peeeeeep! The home (well, closer to home) side get the game started.
Ready for kick-off, Arsenal in their traditional red, Vorskla in Watford’s away kit.
And they’re out! Hands shaken, gloves donned, and ready for action.
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The players are in the tunnel! It’s a very large, fake-grass-carpeted, expansive one. More of a lounge really, though without the seating options that you normally get in one of those.
Apparently the temperature is going to hit -12C this evening, so it’s just as well the players have packed their snoods.
Unai Emery has a brief pre-match natter:
For us every match is very important, and we are thinking this is one title, and one way for the Champions League. Today, the most important thing is to give chances to players. These players can help us in other matches. We are thinking only to win today.
Head-to-head(ish) latest: Vorskla Poltava have never played an English team (except against Arsenal back in September, when they lost 4-2). Arsenal’s record against Ukrainian sides is just about positive: P11 W5 D2 L4: they are unbeaten at home, but without a win away.
Teams
Here they are!
Vorskla: Shust, Perduta, Dallku, Chesnakov, Artur, Sapai, Sklyar, Sharpar, Rebenok, Kulach, Kolomoets. Subs: Tkachenko, Sergiychuk, Mysyk, Nicolas Careca, Chyzhov, Sakiv, Kane.
Arsenal: Cech, Lichtsteiner, Jenkinson, Holding, Maitland-Niles, Guendouzi, Ramsey, Elneny, Willock, Nketiah, Smith-Rowe. Subs: Martinez, Mkhitaryan, Gilmour, Medley, Osei-Tutu, John-Jules, Saka.
Referee: Bartosz Frankowski (Poland).
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The Press Association hasn’t yet filed the full teams, but they have filed their reaction to them:
Arsenal handed a first start to teenage striker Eddie Nketiah as Unai Emery made 10 changes for their Europa League clash against Vorskla Poltava in Kiev.
The Group E fixture was moved 185 miles east of Poltava to the capital’s Olympic Stadium with parts of Ukraine under martial law as political tensions continue to rise.
Only Rob Holding kept his place from Sunday’s Premier League win at Bournemouth as 19-year-old Nketiah led the line with fellow academy graduate Joe Willock also given a rare chance to impress. Ainsley Maitland-Niles was also included for his first start since the opening day of the season, while Petr Cech returned in goal to captain the Gunners.
Here’s tonight’s Arsenal team. Full line-ups to follow imminently:
📋 Here's our team to face Vorskla Poltava in Kiev tonight 🇺🇦
— Arsenal FC (@Arsenal) November 29, 2018
🏆 #UEL pic.twitter.com/uVgWO4AhnX
Hello world!
This will-they-won’t-they, where-will-they tie might just prove to be more interesting while the actual football is in progress than it was while the world waited with breath very vaguely baited to see if it was going to happen in the first place. Of all the reasons the football world has ever seen for changing a game’s venue “the sudden introduction of martial law”, which is what Uefa said forced their hand, has to be among the more remarkable - other real-life nominations warmly received - and among the night’s big questions is precisely what percentage of the 70,050-capacity Olimpiyskiy Stadium in Kyiv will be full, given the short notice, the fact that Vorskla are based 350km away in Poltava and that they normally play in a stadium that can host 24,795 people but for the average league game attracts a meagre 3,395, which for context is about 100 more than English fifth-tier side Hartlepool United.
Vorskla were predictably disgruntled about the venue switch, pointing out on Twitter that though they normally play in green and white, their current mood was such that they would be better represented by an extremely weird-looking fox:
Наші кольори ЗЕЛОНО-БІЛІ, але колір настрою - РУДИЙ...#FCVP #Полтава #Ворскла #перенесеннямтачу #UEL pic.twitter.com/3HqPRpZayS
— ФК Ворскла (@vorsklacomua) November 28, 2018
Now we must wait to see if they are able to, ahem, outfox a youthful and unfamiliar Arsenal side, which will not include Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Mesut Ozil and Lucas Torreira, who have all stayed at home, but might include Charlie Gilmour, Dejan Iliev, Tyreece John-Jules, Zech Medley, Emile Smith-Rowe, Joe Willock, Jordi Osei-Tutu, Bukayo Saka and Dominic Thompson.
Some of these names will be new to some readers, but fear not. You may know nothing about Zech Medley but here’s a Beck medley, which is almost the same thing:
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