I never thought I would be applying to join the Cyril Ramaphosa fan club.
But I am tempted to after watching him give Donald Trump a masterclass in dignity and diplomacy and – bluntly, intelligence – after yet more extraordinary scenes in the White House yesterday.
The US president attempted a repeat of his Oval Office ambush of Ukraine’s Vlodomyrr Zelensky.
This time, Trump had gone to even greater lengths to publicly berate and humiliate his guest.
Like the bullying egotistical showman he is, he had arranged to make unsuspecting Ramaphosa watch – live on television, of course – a film purporting to prove his claim that white South Africans were the victims of “genocide”.
Predictably, Trump’s resident White House bouncer, vice president JD Vance, chipped in trying to goad Ramaphosa.
Trump loves to boast of having refurbished the Oval Office with a shiny new gold decor, but his main use for it appears to be as an interrogation centre where he attempts to deliver public political punishment beatings.
But Ramaphosa beat Trump at his own game.
Although clearly taken aback by Trump’s stunts, the South African president was clearly not unprepared.
How could he fail to be when, just like the rest of us, he had seen the fate of Zelensky – who, taken unawares, understandably (but unwisely) walked straight into the trap.
Moreover, Ramaphosa knew Trump was gunning for him after making a series of attacks on his regime.
He did his best to flatter Trump, offering up the modern equivalent to the tribute demanded by conquering Roman generals that is expected these days from all overseas visitors to the White House.
Ramophosa was accompanied by two famous white South African golfers Ernie Els and Retief Goosen to please golf obsessed Trump. He told Trump he had embraced his advice to take golf lessons.
He even copied Keir Starmer’s ploy of offering Trump a state visit to South Africa, though with no such success. After all, South Africa has no Buckingham Palace or Windsor Castle and no King and Queen. Any banquet would be hosted by Ramaphosa - and Trump has little appetite for breaking bread with the likes of him.
But when Ramaphosa’s compliments fell on stony ground and Trump went for the jugular, unlike Zelensky, he refused to be rattled.
He bided his time and replied in measured tones to all the half baked conspiracy theories, random press cuttings and jibes thrown at him by rambling and incoherent Trump.
As for Trump’s claim about a genocide of white South Africans, Ramaphosa could have pointed out an additional fact: eight per cent of South Africans are white; two per cent of murder victims in South Africa are white.
There were two heads of state in the Oval Office yesterday. But only one statesman.
