Hey, Robert Jenrick! After your Superman act as you tried to prevent London’s Tube travellers from dodging fares, your super-powers are needed again! And this time, you’ve got a super-sexy sidekick!
The shadow justice secretary has become something of a suburban superhero since he was filmed chasing fare dodgers on the Underground; perhaps he could be the man to help Dame Joan Collins in her campaign against other transport terrors.
This week, the ninetysomething Dynasty actor posted a photo of herself on Instagram, surrounded by a mass of Lime bikes in Kensington. She captioned the image of her obstructed path: “#shocked about the #loutish behavior of @lime #bycicle users #pavementsareforpedestrians #limebike.”
And she has a point (liberal use of hashtags aside). These bikes have become a menace – or rather, their riders have. Being able to hire an e-bike to get around our cities is a brilliant innovation, but the way they are dumped on the streets makes them a total hazard.
Because these cycles don’t have to be parked in a dock, they can be left anywhere; Lime recommends parking spots and reminds users: “Your vehicle must be upright and with the kickstand down, not blocking pedestrian pathways, building entrances or driveways”. Chance would be a fine thing!
So many bike parking spaces, designated or not, are so jammed with vehicles that it becomes difficult for pedestrians to pass – and the ones that are strewn across the pavements are an even worse hazard.
I live in a London suburb, and almost every day there’s a rental e-bike parked in the middle of a pavement, particularly near the bus station, where there are usually two or three of them lying on the floor, causing a massive issue for anyone with a disability and a huge inconvenience for those who don’t. If you try to pick them up and move them, they’re really heavy – and I should know, because that’s what I do if I see one that’s a hazard.
Many of these cycles have also been hacked, using a trick that involves breaking the lock (which I won’t detail here). When the bike is then ridden, it makes a horrible click-clack noise, and because the bike is now broken, it’s just casually discarded. Lime says they are working on a solution to this, but they clearly have a bit of work to do, given how commonplace the sound is in central London.
Last year, Brent Council threatened to ban Lime bikes from their streets due to so many being badly parked; the parties came to an agreement after Lime conceded to remove them within two hours of being reported. But you can trip up over a lot of pavement bikes in two hours.
In new research last year, the Royal National Institute of Blind People reported that 70 per cent of blind or partially sighted people surveyed noticed an increase in pavement obstructions due to e-scooters, and almost half of them said that dockless bikes and e-scooters stop them from getting out and about.
Earlier this week, I was visiting Guy’s Hospital in London, and a Lime bike had been left on the pavement between the main building and the cancer centre. Thoughtfully, the rider had parked it on its kickstand, but that oh-so-considerate touch wouldn’t make much difference to anyone trying to negotiate it in a wheelchair, or who was wobbly on their feet.
That moment really summed up for me how thoughtless and selfish so many of the cyclists who use Lime bikes and any other e-bikes in London are.
So come on, Mr Jenrick. I fancy seeing you and Dame Joan riding a paid-for pair of Lime bikes, chasing down the selfish idiots who are making life difficult for so many people.
I’m leaving the UK because of how Labour has treated wealthy non-doms like me… ciao!
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