Well I said to Mummy, thank heavens we never did source an incredibly old person, she was like, absolutely darling, they would defo have pneumonia by now, the bird bath was frozen solid this morning, I’m like well, no totes offence to old people, but unfort they are already over, even Joan Didion has had to go back to her cats #bless? Because Céline wants to replace her with George Monbiot? Mummy was like, Monbiot, Monbiot, would he be one of the Oxfordshire Monbiots, I’m like, that is SO not the point, the Greens are having the biggest moment, literally ethics are the most on trend they have EVER been since Anya did her I am not a plastic bag tote, God she must be so regretting her whole golden crisp packet thing?
Because the only thing anyone is talking about is like, saving the planet #yay & consumerism #boo & the Greens when they are not talking about the Westwoods, as in Vivienne is like seriously worried about the whole climatty awfulness thing, so appaz the more people who shop her SS15 collection the less the sea will warm #genius, eg every pair of PVC heels saves a dolphin? Plus her son, Joe Corré, well he is Agent Provocateur, obvs, so if everybody in the country ordered like, a re-usable peekaboo playsuit crafted from organic swarovski crystals there would not be any need for fricking, or whatevs, as in basically upscale green garms can totally save the planet from people who are not fash forward & vote Labour?
Mummy was like, so the conspicuous consumption of crass, imminently obsolescent luxe is considered sustainable nowadays, I’m like, well I THINK so, she’s like oh how marv, I must tell the shop, what does Dave think? I’m like, well unfort I hardly see him these days, what with all his human rights work in Riyadh, who knew the House of Saud co-founded PEN with Mrs Pankhurst #jesuischarlotte, but he will totally be thrilled? Mummy’s like, even though Vivienne called him a suit with a blue background, who talks rubbish, I’m like, excuse me, Dave loves the Greens so much he will not even debate without them, totes non-swank, we literally OWN the green surge?
