Channel 4’s eyebrow-raising new show Virgin Island follows 12 adult virgins as they enter a luxury sex therapy retreat on a Croatian island, in a bid to overcome their intimacy issues and have sex for the first time.
Assisted with the support of licensed sex therapists, “sexologist bodyworkers”, coaches, and surrogate partner therapists, all participants are motivated to open up physically throughout the unique “hands-on” process.
That includes getting naked both individually and in groups, divulging their most intimate sexual fantasies, exploring sexual touch with coaches, and eventually losing their virginity. They are also encouraged to witness the modelling of sex acts by their therapists and fellow participants, with lots of moaning throughout.
All of the participants on the show are aged between 22 and 30 years old and have faced various blocks to having sex throughout their lives, including a lack of self-confidence, bullying, or a general fear of physical touch.
The show has raised ethical questions, because the client-therapist relationship is traditionally considered one where sex and romance are discouraged. Most psychological practitioners are trained to respect the sensitive power dynamic between the client, who may be vulnerable at times, and the therapist, who may be in a more dominant position.
But what exactly is a surrogate sex therapist?
Among the various sex and relationship experts on the show are Kat Slade and Andre Lazarus, the two trained surrogate partners who are the only ones qualified to have sex with individual members of the group. Other sexologist bodyworkers can assist with intimacy and other forms of touching and somatic therapy.
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Sometimes sex surrogates will have sex with their clients, but not always. Their goal is to help their clients become more comfortable with sex and intimacy. It can be used by people who have physical disabilities, sexual trauma, sexual dysfunction, gender confirmation surgery or other experiences.
The International Professional Surrogates Association says its members receive training, must meet a competency standard and work within a code of ethics.
How does it work?
Sexual surrogacy is a triadic relationship, which means three people are involved. They include the client, the surrogate partner, and a licensed therapist to oversee the relationship and handle any issues outside the physical acts between the client and partner. That includes if the client develops feelings for their partner.
“They have the therapist built into the relationship because if feelings become developed, the therapist is available to talk the client through whatever feelings that they have around it,” Celeste Hirschman, a sex and relationships coach who appears in the Channel 4 show, told the Daily Mail.
“It is really an authentic relationship, so one thing that can happen in a relationship is that someone has performance problems, and so they would just communicate about it and say, ‘Oh, you know, something's not working here. Let's take a break. Let's try again.’
“That authenticity is what actually prepares people to have real relationships out in the world.”
She continued: “So it's not just like trying to force something and a lot of times surrogates do work with people who have pretty significant dysfunctions, and so they need to work with those kinds of things, both in their clients and if it comes up in themselves as well.”
Is it legal?
The laws around sexual surrogacy are complex. However, the UK’s College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists advises against it in its Code of Ethics and Practice. It says that therapists must “not provide, advocate, or help anyone procure sexual surrogacy or bodywork involving touch”.
The practice is not technically considered sex work due to its use within a therapeutic and clinical setting, however it is not illegal to pay someone to have sex in the UK unless a person is soliciting sex work in a public space.
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