Good to see she's keeping warm with gloves
Photograph: Ian West/ PA
Should England manager Steve McClaren confirm rumours and opt to play Wes Brown at right back tonight, Victoria Beckham's outfit choice for the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards will be downgraded to the second most hilarious decision of the week.
As things stand though, madam may add that honour to the pair of trophies she picked up at the ceremony: Entrepreneur of the Year - suggesting British business is seven minutes from collapse - and Woman of the Year.
Whilst it's a relief to note that a minion's hasty rearrangement of her knickers gave Victoria sufficient confidence to enter the ceremony - and even to mount the podium and make a speech which presumably began with the words "My fellow self-doubt sufferers" - it is all too apparent that the recent brutal murder on her estate has left Spice Rack profoundly traumatised, leading her to telegraph her increasingly vulnerable state of mind through the medium of fashion.
Her cries for help must be answered as a matter of urgency. After all, when Mrs Beckham takes her place in the stands tonight for England's unwatchable struggle against the country ranked 110th in the world, no one - with the obvious exceptions of Steve McClaren and Frank Lampard - wants to see her jeered for a skirt-related oversight.
