Strange things are afoot at Madame Tussauds, the museum which has once again broken with decades of tradition by unveiling a waxwork which looks vaguely like the person it is supposed to resemble.
Last December, you may recall, Nicole Kidman's frozen expression was frozen in wax, and the results were startlingly convincing. Today, it is the turn of Victoria and David Beckham to be remodelled - and just look at how lifelike madam appears. It's as if she's actually ignoring you for real.
Presumably, the old Victoria dummy has been melted down for parts, but Lost in Showbiz likes to imagine it being fitted with a giant wick, creating a stunning centrepiece for the next staff-only pagan night at Tussauds. The lighting of this unholy candle would signify the commencement of the revels, while its eventual sputtering out would indicate that the sun was stealing over the horizon, and all heads of state must be wiped down, reclothed and restored to their original tableaux.
