When it comes to eating, I like to take a church and state approach to “healthy” and “indulgent”, balancing salad days with the occasional bag of Giant Buttons.
But this is at odds with the advent of healthy eating fads – clean living, vogueish veganism etc – that have woven superfoods into ideas of indulgence; the likes of Deliciously Ella’s cacao and avocado mousse and Goop’s turmeric and coconut protein pops combine the semantics of decadence (chocolate, lollies) with ingredients that make them good (or at least, less bad) for you. What is more puzzling is the premise of vegan kale chocolate, recently introduced to market by bougie Los Angeles chocolatier, Compartes. It is a bar of the most delicious dark chocolate (73% cocoa solids) covered in “kale crunch”, a thick mossy sprinkle of kale, spirulina, sea salt and pumpkin, sesame and sunflower seeds, that creates undulations on the bar’s surface likened by one colleague to the Lake District. (That said, this is definitely more Silver Lake than the Lakes, where confections have a more timeless quality – Kendal mint cake, I’m looking at you.)
That a brand that prides itself on its LA heritage should come up with such a concoction is not surprising – a recent seasonal special, avocado toast chocolate, tapped into the world’s insatiable appetite for the classic brunch dish by blending white chocolate with “creamy Californian avocados and crunchy bits of caramelised toast”. But I can’t shake the feeling that the bar of vegan kale in front of me now is a Paltrowian guilt trip – every time my palate starts to enjoy that perfect dark chocolate, a note of livestock fodder interrupts as though to remind me not to get carried away.
Back in the office, the bar splits opinion. Some dig it, finding the saline, slightly muddy kale crunch alongside the almost-sweet chocolate to be moreish. Others feel, like me, that the ingredients of this product should know their respective places.
The good news is that most dark chocolate with over 65% cocoa solids is dairy-free, so vegans needing a gustatory serotonin fix can get one without being punished by superfoods. Those who like the intersection of sweet and savoury, but don’t want their sugar-fix topped with salad should try Compartes’ California Love bar, blending that perfect dark chocolate with salted pretzels.
For the rest of us, Giant Buttons remain pleasure’s steadiest offering.
• This article was amended on 20 September 2018. Most dark chocolate is dairy-free, making it good news for vegans, not gluten-free as an earlier version said.
