“What gift do you want for Valentine’s Day?” I asked my wife, and she replied, “Fix the kitchen sink.”
Valentine’s has changed, opening up a whole new set of possibilities. The texture of celebrations alters as you grow older.
Last year, we were at an undiscovered holiday spot (I won’t name it because I want it to remain that way), and no such questions were asked. One knew what to do. Flowers, check. Chocolates, check. Dinner, check. Miscellaneous, check.
We just made it back home before the cycle of lockdowns began. Life has been one long Valentine’s Day since then. Flowers, chocolates, dinners together, and miscellaneous. If we wanted, that is. We are the lucky ones. Working and vacationing the same day. And in the same place.
We celebrated birthdays, anniversaries, friends’ birthdays, relatives’ anniversaries, national days, Christmas, Diwali, all in the same place and doing much the same things. Party of two. Party with two, in fact. Once things return to normal – whatever the new definition of that word - we plan to have a weeks-long party with all our friends, to celebrate these same things properly.
But Valentine’s Day is different. When my wife asks me the question (“What do you want for Valentine’s Day?”), I shall tell her: “Cut my hair.” Sure, I love chocolates, but some things in life are more important than chocolates.
Many months ago, my wife discovered a hidden talent – the ability to cut my hair. She has been the in-house hairdresser since. I remain her first (and only) hairdressee. The pandemic forced this upon us. It’s been a couple of months now, and another round is indicated.
She fixes my hair far better than I can hope to fix the kitchen sink. If she makes a mistake with the hair, it won’t be long before everything grows back. If I make a mistake with the kitchen sink, it’s the end of that story. Kitchen sinks do not grow back.
When we were courting we threw everything including the kitchen sink into our Valentine’s celebrations. Now the kitchen sink is throwing itself into our celebrations.
The Buddhist monk Chogyam Trungpa said, “When one is able to overcome the romantic and emotional attitude, one discovers truth even in the kitchen sink.” He was almost right. Actually, when one knows the truth, one can discover the romantic even in the kitchen sink.
There is greater romance and love in making things easier for each other as a couple than there is in following a script written by marketing men at chocolate companies and florists who specialise in home deliveries.
Plans for the next few Valentine’s have been laid out. Next year I shall change the bulb in the dining room that blew months ago. Then there is the matter of reorganising the books that seem to have taken on a life of their own. That’s for the year after.
Love makes the world go round. It also fixes kitchen sinks and cuts hair on the way.
(Suresh Menon is Contributing Editor, The Hindu)
