It’s deeply ironic that lubricant has such a dry reputation among many folks. Sadly, scores of people are labouring under the misapprehension that a tube of lube is a product you only reluctantly reach for when there’s some kind of uncomfortable problem with your love life.
In fact, while it can certainly help solve and soothe a vast plethora of bedroom-based issues, as we’ll explore, lubricant has huge potential to be fun as well as functional. A water-based formula such as Kynect – the new name for KY Jelly – is the Swiss army knife of the sex world: indispensable for all sorts of adventures and activities. It’s the one simple “must have” I’d recommend to pretty much any human who wants to enhance their erotic pleasure, whether partnered or solo, and I want to normalise its usage without shame, embarrassment or restraint – consensual bondage excepted.
Here’s a roundup of reasons why cracking out the lube can lead to a more cracking sexual experience …
Lubricant helps condoms work more safely, and feel more sensual
A little lube applied to the outside of a condom once it’s on reduces friction, which in turn reduces the chances of your rubber ripping or accidentally being tugged off during intercourse. Pop a small drop inside the tip of the condom before you roll it on (a practice known as “gift wrapping”), and it’ll feel better for the wearer, too – just a touch is enough to increase sensitivity around the head of the penis without affecting grip at the base, so your protection stays in place.
Oil-based products such as moisturising lotions, petroleum jelly, baby oil, coconut oil and massage oil can all degrade latex, making natural rubber condoms more likely to break. Different oils interact with the material in different ways, depending upon their molecular structure, and thus have more or less capacity to cause damage, but the golden rule is that if you’re relying upon condoms to provide a barrier between you and STI risk and/or unplanned pregnancy, anything oily shouldn’t be touched with a bargepole, and your bargepole shouldn’t touch anything oily. If massage features as part of your foreplay, switch to using a water-based gel such as Kynect rather than an oil to help your hands glide smoothly and safely, and make skin glisten and gleam seductively.
As a bonus, lube is easier to wash out of your sheets post-playtime: all gain, no stain. Plus, if you’re prone to yeast infections, use of oils in and around the vagina is associated with higher rates of candida colonisation – the fungus responsible for thrush – so switching could help you avoid itching.
Fancy a new smooth move? Draw inspiration from the Japanese “nuru” massage technique, in which both partners’ bodies are glossed with lube, and they slip-slide their whole selves against one another.
It enhances sensation during masturbation
Using lube during a ménage a moi can also help men avoid “death grip syndrome”: coined by renowned American sex columnist Dan Savage, this phrase describes a situation whereby a penis owner becomes conditioned via long-term rough, harsh manual masturbation habits to only orgasm in response to similarly aggressive forms of stimulation, meaning that the comparatively soft, gentle feelings of a vagina or tongue aren’t strong enough to induce climax.
He may even struggle to maintain an erection during coupled play. The complication is thought to particularly affect circumcised men, who tend to have reduced genital sensitivity as their glans is always exposed rather than being covered with a foreskin, making them more likely to develop intense masturbatory practices. Using lube with a looser stroke when alone can help foster a more satisfying response to lighter stimulation.
It combats vaginal dryness … which is much more common than you think
The hormone oestrogen is responsible for ensuring that the walls of the vagina stay plump, elastic, and moisturised with a clear lubricating fluid – so when oestrogen levels dip every month at certain points in the menstrual cycle, or on a permanent basis after menopause, it’s utterly normal to feel dehydrated downstairs.
Hormone levels also change during pregnancy and breastfeeding, and dryness can additionally be caused by underlying conditions such as diabetes; reactions to perfumed soaps and shower gels; alcohol; stress; treatments such as chemotherapy; and all manner of medications, including contraceptive pills. Certain antidepressants that give you a hand handling the blues can unfortunately make your pink bits arid, while antihistamines that stop your eyes and nose running can also halt fluid production in more southerly mucous membranes.
Given all these factors, it’s no wonder that many women have experienced dryness causing discomfort during sex. Use lube. Make things wetter. Make things better. Simple.
It helps when your mind’s turned on, but your body hasn’t caught up yet
On occasion, dryness can be a sign that you’re not in a sexy mood; that what’s happening isn’t tickling your pickle; or that you need more foreplay before things move forward. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes you can be dying to treat yourself to a quickie before the kids wake from their nap (or the teens get back before curfew), yet your body can’t work to make moisture at 100 miles per hour.
Or maybe you begin feeling fabulous in your head, but then when your bits don’t immediately cooperate in bed, worrying about feeling dry starts to dampen your mood (there’s that irony again!) … which makes it even harder to get wet. Your partner notices things aren’t going smoothly; it puts them off their stride too; and the whole fumble starts tumbling down.
Lubricant can break this vicious circle in a dash.
It’s vital for anal play
The bottom line? Lube is essential for any voyage up the back passage, as unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t produce its own natural moisture at all. Plugs, probes, prostate toys, or penetration by a person: whatever you’re introducing to your rear end, using lashings of lube and warming up slowly are the best ingredients to feel fantastic and avoid injuries such as tears or fissures.
It plays perfectly with sex toys
Adding lube can bring a whole new dimension of sensation to a favourite vibrator or stimulator. Some silicone-based lubricants don’t react well with certain silicone toys, though, and can cause them to “rot” or “peel”. A plain water-based formula is gentle on the genitals and on toys too.
It stops chafing during long sex sessions
If you’ve got a dirty weekend planned, lube can help prevent you from walking like a rodeo bull-riding cowboy come Monday morning. And on a more everyday level, if you’re someone who requires a prolonged period of stimulation in order to orgasm, but finds themselves getting sore before they manage to get off, lube can take away the “ow” before the “O”.
It makes cervical smears less stressful
Along with tips like asking for a smaller speculum and to insert it yourself, bringing your own water-based lube can make cervical screening a less anxiety-inducing process for those who find this important health check triggering, painful or nerve-racking.
For more support, I recommend the Vulval Pain Society’s Smears without Tears guide, and the My Body Back project for survivors of sexual abuse and assault.
It helps bodies fit together better
If you’re trying to put a girthy/long peg in a small/tight hole, lube equals less frustration, easier tessellation.
So: for more freedom to enjoy yourself, lube liberally.
You can never have too much of a good thing. Enjoy more intimacy with your partner with our 200ml tube. Buy it here
