Pay attention, benighted bumpers and grinders: self-effacing R&B star Usher will have you know that an under-reported world male shortage is forcing ladies to resort to unfulfilling relationships with members of their own gender. That's how lesbians are made, kids - and I don't care what you've read elsewhere. Your new sociobiological bible is Vibe magazine, wherein Usher breaks his silence on his recent marriage to the mother of his child.
"As a man, you would respect me for not turning my back on it," he opines. "It can never be bad to have a foundation as a man -- a black man -- in a time when women are dying for men. Women have started to become lovers of each other as a result of not having enough men. Are you not studying the stories? Wake up!"
Mm. That's about all we have time for from the world's most exciting new behavioural ecologist, so let's play out with this, safe in the knowledge that if a guy who can throw freestyle shapes this awkwardly under-rehearsed is working to counteract the whole last-resort-lesbianism thing, then maybe - just maybe - women will feel like they have some kind of choice in how they get their rocks off.
