Wow. WOW.
The USWNT ran all over Thailand on Tuesday, winning their opening match of the World Cup 13-0. The U.S. scored ten goals in the second half alone in a game that was almost tough to watch by the end.
The big debate in this one will not be whether or not the U.S. played as well as they could. The debate will be if they needed to run up the score and embarrass the Thailand team like that. I understand not taking your foot off the gas, but this got into the realm of unsporting.
Alas. Here, let’s look at all the goals:
12′ — GOAL ALEX MORGAN. USA 1 – 0 THAILAND
Alex Morgan taps in, and they’re not taking this one back. USWNT is running all over Thailand, good heavens. O’Hara takes the ball at the top of the box, fakes a shot, beats her defender, and drifts the ball over the top to Morgan’s head. That’s Morgan’s 102nd (!) international goal.
20′ — GOAL ROSE LAVELLE. USA 2 – 0 THAILAND
This … could get out of hand. Lavelle collects a pass, beats her defender, and rips a left-footed shot that can’t be saved by the Thailand keeper. Thailand is going to be lucky to keep this to single digits. Jeez.
32′ — GOAL LINDSEY HORAN. USA 3 – 0 THAILAND
A free kick from Heath at the top of the box eventually finds the right foot of Horan, and she blasts it in the top of the net. This is getting mean. Love that free kick design, though.
50′ — GOAL SAM MEWIS. USA 4 – 0 ThAILAND
Mewis with an absolute bomb of a left-footed shot that is deflected in. Not sure what else to say.
53′ – GOAL ALEX MORGAN. USA 5 – 0 THAILAND
Oh no.
54′ — GOAL SAM MEWIS. USA 6 – 0 THAILAND.
STOP THE FIGHT. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, STOP THE FIGHT.
56′ — GOAL ROSE LAVELLE. USA 7 – 0 THAILAND
Jiminy Christmas.
74′ — GOAL ALEX MORGAN. USA 8 – 0 THAILAND
Morgan gets her hat trick. This is so tough for Thailand.
79′ — GOAL MEGAN RAPINOE. USA 9 – 0 THAILAND
The prettiest goal of the game starts with a run up the right from Pugh and Press and ends on the right foot of Rapinoe. Thailand had had a little bit of possession before that, too. Alas.
81′ — GOAL ALEX MORGAN. USA 10 – 0 THAILAND.
They just literally showed a baby crying in the stands. Enough, USA.
84′ — GOAL MAL PUGH. USA 11 – 0 THAILAND
Now I’m crying.
90 + 2′ — GOAL CARLI LLOYD. USA 13 – 0 THAILAND
Lloyd gets her goal. Sure.
Lineup
Only real surprise in the lineup is that Becky Sauerbrunn will rest with an apparent quad tweak. They’re saying it’s precautionary, but it allows Sam Mewis to get into the lineup, which is probably a good thing for the USWNT as Mewis is really, really good.
Julie Ertz will move back into the back line. Otherwise, chalk. And no, there’s no Carli Lloyd in the starting lineup.
