So everybody is majorly hearting old people because basically they are having the biggest moment #bless eg Selfridges has millions of incredibly ancient ones in the windows, literally grey haired but totally compos #whoknew, plus there is Julia Roberts for Givenchy, God I hope I look like that when I am 70, and Joan Didion has got to be one of the oldest people on the planet, but still so totes divine & so dear, we are all like, God, SO excited for when we get our first wrinkles?
Well I am desperate to hire an old person for the shop, except I said to Mummy, you would not believe how hard it is to source upscale octogenarians, Saint Laurent found Joni Mitchell at a bus stop in Manhattan & Didion was talent spotted in a library, she’s like, so did you try any hospitals? I’m like *tactful voice* well the old people must not be TOO skeletal if you see what I mean, what if there was a cold snap? Mummy’s like, well try a nicely run home, book all their boniest ones, check they’ve had flu jabs, I’m like, would you believe Anya has hired all of them to push her new golden shopping trolleys #typical, seriously, Danny is like, forget intellectuals, there is not a skinny old woman with decent cheekbones and enough hair left literally in the whole of London?
Mummy was like, not even Joan Collins? I’m like, now she is a dame, forget it. Mummy’s like, if only the Queen were not so difficult, I’m like, and maybe a few pounds lighter, think of the samples, Joan Didion is a perfect size six.
So I’m like Dave, help, we MUST know some properly old people, he’s like, you mean, as in awful old lags & dinosaurs, I’m like, why not, a Heseltine might work, he’s like, soz babes you are just too late, we pensioned off the last ones in the reshuffle :((( I’m like, so THINK where did you put them, he’s like, well the Lords, obvs, I’m like perfect – he’s like, wait, what is your budget, you do know even the most gibbering old wrecks will not get out of bed for less than £300 a day?
