Uneasy rider

My brake failure outside Alesund, it transpires, probably had less to do with the motorcycle and more to do with the muppet sitting astride it.

After my white-knuckle ride down the mountain, a flick through the manual revealed the telling words: 'Do not use the rear brake only on mountain hairpins. It will overheat with potentially catastrophic results,' writes Mike Carter.

Manuals are useful things, no doubt, but does anybody actually read them until things have gone wrong?

They seem to adhere to Kierkegaard's philosophy that although life must be lived forwards, it is only truly understood backwards.

I had spent the day crossing the high snow-covered plateaus and driving up and down the alpine roads of Norway's western fjords. When I learned to ride a motorcycle - all of three months ago now - my instructor told me about things called chicken strips: strips of unused rubber at the edges of your tires that instantly reveal to other bikers how hardcore you are when cornering.

Some people of a nervous disposition, but dubious integrity, have even been known to have at these with sandpaper in an effort to win approbation from their peers. All trip, my 'strips' have been pitifully wide, and it was while trying to get these down that I screwed my brakes.

I think there are two major lessons to be learned here: 1) Being 42 and caring whether anyone thinks you're macho or not is tragically pathetic; And 2) Find out what the Norwegian is for sandpaper.

Read all of Mike's columns and last week's blog here and post tips for our uneasy rider as he continues his road trip.