Mukti, 32
I live and teach in the Mandala Yoga Ashram, a commune in Wales. Nick is the manager, and I’ve known him for two years. You get close quickly in an ashram. We spend four hours a day together, eating, meditating, taking classes or going for walks. Everyone has their own rooms, and we spend the first 10 minutes of each meal in silence, so we don’t feel pressure to make chitchat.
I used to work in the NHS and it was challenging. Difficult issues from your past tend to come up when you are quiet and still. Knowing I’ve got Nick to go to with problems – personal, or with my yoga – has made a big difference. I look up to him as a mentor.
He knows how to be supportive without trying to shut down my emotions. I find that liberating. It means I do not suppress how I feel.
Nick, 49
Eleven of us live in the commune. You slowly open up, and trust builds. That happened naturally with Mukti, as she wears her heart on her sleeve.
This place encourages people to deal with things that have troubled them for a long time. Sometimes you need to give people space to work through that stuff, rather than trying to fix things for them. But it can be difficult when you see someone like Mukti suffer. Sometimes, I could do with a break, too. But our relationship makes me feel valuable, and I also turn to Mukti for support. She has a dry sense of humour and we make each other laugh.
When I came here, I focused on self-discovery. I’ve learned that a key component of that is actually how you relate to others, because it is always a reflection of how you relate to yourself.
• Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article.
If you have a story to tell about who you live with, fill in this form and tell us a little about your set-up.
