One of the less thrilling aspects of designing a garden is considering what needs disguising. The aesthetic reach of your plot can be somewhat curtailed by, admittedly essential, but often eye-wincingly ugly features, such as extractor fans, septic tanks, and PVC drainpipes.
Whilst some homes with architectural pedigree have particularly lovely drainpipes, in other cases, they are strictly functional with no consideration for aesthetics whatsoever. Rather than simply learning how to hide a garden wall, attempting to distract from ugly drainpipes requires a slightly different approach.
Here are six ways to hide outside pipes in your garden and do so both tactfully and tastefully, of course.
1. Smother pipes in rampant wall climbing plants
Consider growing fast-growing climbing plants against the walls to hide outside pipes in your garden.
I would recommend an evergreen plant, so you have coverage throughout the seasons, rather than just the warmer months.
Star jasmine (Trachelospermum jasminoides), the evergreen clematis (Clematis armandii), and English ivy (Hedera helix) are all terrific options, each perfectly judged for covering ugly pipes throughout the entire calendar year.
Just be warned that some maintenance will be required to keep rampant vines from interfering with pipework or damaging your exterior.
There are some other climbing plants that, whilst not evergreen, put on such a wonderfully theatrical display, they can be excused for their hiatus for a handful of weeks.
Virginia creeper (Parthenocissus quinquefolia) looks superb throughout summer and fall, and thrives on close to total neglect.
It will grow in shade or sun, come rain or shine, and will hide outside pipes as though its life depended on it, apart from a few weeks in winter when it becomes dormant and loses its leaves. You can buy Virginia Creeper live plants at Amazon.
Wisteria Amethyst Falls Tree is a deciduous, woody-stemmed climbing vine with a vigorous growth rate. Great for growing against a trellis and looks magnificent growing tall against a house, covering ugly pipes.
Climbing Hydrangea offers stunning white lacecap blooms and dense, lush foliage, making it perfect for adding vertical interest to walls, fences, or trellises. Just give it plenty of water, other than that though, it is wonderfully low maintenance.
HederaIf you want something that will grow fast and look unerringly romantic against a house, then English Ivy (hedera helix) is perfect. It's fast-growing and has a widespread growth habit, making it perfect for covering those spots you want covered.
2. Invest in a downspout trellis
A downspout trellis allows you to make a feature of an otherwise unattractive downspout by allowing plants to grow up the elegant lattice wirework structure.
In the summer months, you can grow fragrant sweetpea varieties (Lathyrus odoratus), which grow staggeringly fast and are a delight to waft past as you come in and out of the door. Or, my pick would be nasturtium (Tropaeolum majus), which you can pick and add to culinary creations as you come and go from your kitchen.
This sits perfectly flush against the drainpipe, allowing you to grow any climber like honeysuckle or jasmine. It is prettier than many others on the market, with a lovel,y aged, gothic look, and yet modestly priced. A real find.
This lovely pipe trellis comes in sage green or in a rustic finish, which is particularly attractive. It's less adorned, so great if you want something fairly minimal.
If you plan on covering your pipes with fast-growing climbing plants, then the trellis will be covered fairly rapidly, so it might be that you want an affordable and fuss-free trellis like this one. Its got a steel core and plastic coating, so highly durable.
3. Secure planters up pipes for herbs or flowers
A great way to hide outside pipes in your garden, particularly if you are stuck for nifty small garden ideas, is to attach plant pots to the pipes and grow a variety of plants, adding vertical visual interest and increasing your growing space without the need to create new beds.
Truly, you can grow any plant that is happy living in a container, including aromatic herbs like lemon verbena, red bergamot, and thyme, or plants that spill over the sides of pots like sweet alyssum (Lobularia maritima), which has the most darling, fast-growing, tiny flowers.
There are, of course, a plethora of pretty cascading plants that spill over edges and wind their way down the drainpipe, like the black-eyed Susan vine (Thunbergia alata) or trailing verbena (Glandularia hybrids).
Just be sure that the pipe or supporting fixture can support the weight of any planter, to avoid causing any damage.
These are great - no tools required to install, they can be lifted off easily to get to the plants and they're affordable so you can buy several. Fill with aromatic herbs by your kitchen door for easy access for culinary creations.
Super affordable and faff free - these have a drain plug on the bottom and a filter so roots don't get water logged and can breathe freely.
These contemporary pot holders simply attach to most round drainpipes (68mm) and attach to garden pots so you can hand them securely from the drainpipe. Great for herbs, trailing plants and even tomatoes if you have a sunny enough spot.
4. Use removable cladding for a seamless and contemporary look
For modern or urban gardens, removable exterior cladding, trellises, or screens can look very smart and are a great way to completely hide outside pipes.
You can have these handsome panels installed against your walls in order to conceal areas that have particularly unlovely features like air conditioning units, electrical wiring, and plastic pipes.
Using a beautiful wood can make this really dashing feature, or you can buy portable screens which have the same effect, and are great for growing climbers and vines.
This is a fantastic option for contemporary or urban plots. It will cover any ugly pipes whilst looking like a piece of modern art. It's movable and lightweight, and looks far more expensive than it is. Two side-by-side look really impressive.
This gray metal trellis and planter is perfect for growing lush greenery and creating a living barrier, or clip on lightweight pots and grow herbs and vegetables.
If you have a city garden and need to cover up an area - perhaps a wall with an extractor fan, plastic pipes, or a view to a neighbour's less-than-immaculate yard, then these are must buys. They're inexpensive compared to erecting a permanent fence, and they look really chic.
5. Don't shun them, embrace them and make them part of your garden's character
Rather than attempting to entirely hide outside pipes, if you have a period home, it's worth embracing them as part of the genetic makeup of your house.
Depending on the paint you choose, you can make them stand out or blend in. In many villages in rural England, there are design codes, which list recommendations on architecture, boundaries, windows, and door styles.
There's often mention of using paint for windows, doors, and outside pipes in a color sympathetic to the stone or wood used.
If you keep your finger on the pulse of exterior paint trends, you'll know that dark, inky colors are the way to go when painting outside pipes.
Farrow & Ball downpipe, which, as befits its name, was inspired by the color used to paint downpipes and guttering.
Other unerringly smart colors for outside pipes are Farrow & Ball Hague blue and my personal favorite paint for outside pipes, Messel by Mylands, an utterly delicious dark, organic, earthy shade.
6. Create raised beds or add long planters to conceal low pipes
If you have pipes running along the lower section of your outside walls, it's worth creating large raised beds or using long planters to distract from them.
If you plant them with dense screening plants such as grasses, ferns, and bamboo, it will hide outside pipes wonderfully, and you will hardly notice them, if at all.
Some of the most versatile, decorative, and practical raised garden bed ideas hide a multitude of sins, camouflaging ugly plastic compost bins, water pumps, utility meters, and water butts.
Low, long and perfect for covering ugly low pipes, this planter is made from raw corten steel so it develops a rich patina finish. Three or four of these in a row would look superb.
This hand-woven rattan rectangular planter is perfect for sheltered spots in the garden, under pergolas or in doorways and will cover guttering and downspouts perfectly.
This is great - modestly priced, easy to assemble yourself, made of fir wood and looks really smart.
It's worth bearing in mind that some of the best plants for privacy will also double up as the best plants for this job, so it's worth using rampant climbers to your advantage.
If your outside pipes are truly ghastly, and even the best and most vigorous plants can't conceal their unattractiveness, then you may need to put some garden screening ideas into play, making use of awnings or even architectural salvage – you never know what treasures one might find at an antiques center or junk yard!
