It was Valentine’s Day this week. That’s right, the holiday where couples exchange supermarket-bought cards, heart-shaped chocolates, and go out for an over-priced meal in a badly decorated restaurant, all in the name of love.
Ah yes, Saint Valentine, the patron saint of love. That isn’t his only honour, though. He is also the patron saint of beekeepers, epilepsy and plague. Seriously, look it up.
Anyway, I know what you’re thinking… What’s this got to do with cycling? Well, nothing, to be honest. I’ve scoured Saint Valentine’s Wikipedia page for references to bicycles or the WorldTour, and there are none. Still, that didn’t stop teams and brands from riding on the love wave this week.
EF Education-EasyPost mocked up a series of cards for the occasion, one of which showed Lachlan Morton swigging from a jar of pickles. Our friends over at Velo did the same, also drawing on the Australian’s appeal, although this time with the tag: “You have the Lach and key to my heart”.
Don’t get us wrong, we’re big fans of word play here at Cycling Weekly, but the posts that really caught our eye came from Dynamic Bike Care.
If you haven’t heard of Dynamic, they supply cleaning products to WorldTour teams such as Visma-Lease a Bike and Bora-Hansgrohe. They’re also apparently big fans of Valentine’s Day.
Over the past week on their Instagram page, the company posted an eight-part series of Valentine’s deals, giving consumers a hint of a reason to splash their cash. “From 7th to 14th February we celebrate not only the love between humans,” they wrote, “but also the love for our bikes.”
Now this is where it gets weird. In each of the posts, Dynamic posted a slow-mo video of a lady, presumably one of their employees, in a romantic love affair with a bike. It began with her sharing a plate of spaghetti with the front wheel. She then cuddled up on the sofa with the frame, massaged the handlebars, and toasted a wine glass filled with soap product.
In a particularly strange video, the lady even kissed the bike’s tyre. Eyes closed and all.
I’ve collated a few of my favourites from Dynamic’s series below, along with a host of non-Valentine’s content, because, let’s be real, it can get quite sickly.
1. I don't remember this scene from Lady and The Tramp
2. Well, it looks like things moved along quickly
3. Nothing says 'I love you' better than Lachlan Morton sipping pickles
Need a last-minute Valentine’s Day card for that special someone? Don’t worry, we have you covered. #Valentines2024 pic.twitter.com/IGWfY8iwR1February 14, 2024
4. We've got a Lotte time for these Valentine's puns
5. Love is in the air, but don't tell Mrs Majka
I don't know what my wife thinks about it 🙈😆 https://t.co/b5NzhJdpfcFebruary 14, 2024
6. Tadej Pogačar's love affair with his hair tufts grows stronger (and longer) by the day
Pogi’s hair are back 😂 pic.twitter.com/nkusKImFNeFebruary 12, 2024
7. Ah, the happy couple, Britney Spears and Justin van der Timberlake
8. Anyway, enough of the Valentine's nonsense. Here's Lidl-Trek goofing around
9. Well they wouldn't have gone to Aldi, would they?
Haul coming soon? 📸 @Brodie_Mai pic.twitter.com/3hmlBRHpzgFebruary 12, 2024
10. Hats off to GB track sprinter Milly Tanner, who is surprisingly good at the 'headphone challenge'
11. Here's the first in a four-part series in which keirin world champion Ellesse Andrews... choses a bed
12. Post-race exhaustion or the hangover to end all hangovers?
Touching for a dad to see the 36-year-old legend looking after our 19-year-old at Green Mountain. Both well cooked.📷 A.S.O./OCA/Pauline Ballet pic.twitter.com/Oq6obiDyUCFebruary 14, 2024
13. Don't mess with a hungry Remco
When you order fries but they bring them cold 😁 pic.twitter.com/PQt7f5eObxFebruary 14, 2024
14. Mads Pedersen is a serial winner and part-time meme maker
15. Thomas De Gendt can win from the breakaway, but can he solve a Rubik's cube? Yes. Yes, he can
😮 @DeGendtThomas vs. @RubiksFrance #TourOfOman @lotto_dstny pic.twitter.com/jUIQ0GjocLFebruary 13, 2024
16. This tweet begs the question - just how swollen is Megan Jastrab's face?
When Face ID doesn’t work on your iPhone two days after wisdom teeth removal…thrivingFebruary 11, 2024
17. And finally, in homage to Saint Valentine's patronage of epilepsy, here's a very chaotic, but very beautiful montage
