Turn-ons
Public Enemy: Prophets of Rage
Bittersweet billet-doux to the days before The Man moved in and painted hip-hop magnolia
Discomfiting urbanity + superlative cassock work = consistent ecclesiasticalolz
Gardeners' World Christmas Special
Big up to MC Monty Don for dis "festive soil" ting
Rafe Spall in Pete Versus Life
Incessant whimpering/befuddling jowl arrangement causes irreparable damage to The Mast's "explicable crush" node
Turn-offs
EastEnders' "mystery stalker" plot
Endless shots of Phil Mitchell squinting through blinds leads to critical doof-doof deficit
Ricky Tomlinson: Sitcom Does Christmas
Turduckens deflate and baubles shrivel as globular scouser ho-ho-hos through Precambrian clip joint
ITV2 snaps on proctologist's glove; screams "OMG!!!"; assists tapeworm's passage through fame's lower intestine
No it ain't, babes. No it ain't