According to Lost in Showbiz's meticulous archives of Jokes Victoria Beckham Has Made Since Not Taking LA By Storm, it was only last month that madam referred to Eddie Murphy as "the Beverly Hills Cock", on account of the actor's shabby treatment of her fellow Spice Girl Mel B. Imagine our non-existent-to-mild interest, then, to discover that Victoria is preparing her own homage to the very acting genre Eddie has made his own - by donning a comedy fatsuit for her upcoming appearance in hit US show Ugly Betty.
We already knew that Victoria would be playing a self-consciously stylised version of herself - just as she does every day, in a funny kind of way - but only now does the blubber-based hilarity sure to ensue become apparent.
"Everybody ... will be expecting skinny, beautiful Posh to show up," an ABC spokesman has told reporters. "But they'll be horrified to see she's piled on the pounds because of major comfort-eating and American junk food."
Of course, only time will show whether the sight of the unofficial spokesmodel for sub-clinical eating disorders swaddled in latex will prove a Brand Beckham boost from Montana to Mississippi. But what is becoming increasingly clear is Victoria's refusal to let America's continued indifference snuff out her plucky little spirit. So let's all just congratulate her on this latest display of Algonquin wit - wit sure to have Tom Cruise squeezing her husband's knee in insanely overplayed mirth.
