BLATTER UP
Switzerland is nice at Christmas time. Well, The Fiver doesn’t know that for sure but it imagines a self-regarding, snuggly central European version of Hygge – Swygge? – without the deep-seated sense of unease but replete with cosy snowbound houses high above Lake Geneva insulated from the outside world, nourished only by warm lighting and a conveyor belt sending festive supplies of cheese and chocolate from somewhere closer to the earth’s core. What else could one want at this time of year? A steady plop of Christmas cards through the letterbox might liven things up – perhaps if you work for Fifa they’ll come with an extra present or two inside – and it’s always the time of year to hear from old friends by phone, too. So spare a thought for Sepp Blatter, who is experiencing the kind of winter isolation that society is quite properly working hard to address.
“I have sent him a letter and I have his personal number and I was told that it’s still correct,” Blatter said this week of Gianni Infantino, his successor as chief wrecking ball at Fifa HQ. “Never, never an answer, never. I have never seen in any company that the new president … was not paying respect to the old president.” Stay right by the phone, Sepp. Or perhaps don’t, because it’s possible that when Gianni said “I will work on that” in response to your list of questions to solve within Fifa, he was pulling the same restrained pre-excuse as someone who “should be able to make” post-work drinks with the overly insistent ex-colleague who they never really liked but for some reason remains on the email chain. Or WhatsChat group, if that’s how decision makers in the Alpine foothills roll nowadays.
Let’s be fair: Gianni might well be genuinely busy. Maybe he’ll atone by popping round with a hamper in the next couple of weeks – one filled with home-conceived treats to improve the lot of all who hold the world’s game at heart. That 48-team World Cup with groups of three should sit nicely under the tree, but there’s a bonus thrown in too – Friday’s reports have Infantino’s new broom sweeping the prospect of penalty shootouts at the end of all group games on to the table. If you don’t get the gift you want, perhaps you’ll win the Christmas lottery? It all sounds unnecessarily confusing, if a potentially attractive sop to those who might want to wind to the end of Slovenia v Paraguay. Blatter, of course, was a keen proponent of extending football’s global reach and that, indeed, goes down as one of the successes under his presidency. Presumably, though, even he can see that turning a World Cup into something resembling the 1970s NASL might not go down especially well despite the modern appetite for almost anything but a full 90 minutes sitting still.
That being the case, perhaps Infantino’s blindsiding of his old chum makes a certain degree of sense – if we’ve learned one thing this year, after all, it’s that echo chambers are all the rage. But Sepp still has Infantino’s number – or so he thinks – and perhaps he should swallow his pride and dial those digits one more time. It sure beats waiting around and going stir crazy inside the house, even if Infantino paying heed to anything Blatter suggests would appear less likely than the most magical festive miracle.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“At my debut we played in a stadium that holds 30,000 and there was 60,000 – I don’t understand how. People were standing on the floodlights, on the scoreboard. I was thinking, ‘What? This isn’t even safe!’ But people there will do anything to watch the match. Sometimes in a Premier League game the fans are a bit quiet but [there] you just hear trumpets, everything” – Arsenal’s Alex Iwobi tells Amy Lawrence what it’s like to be treated like a king in Nigeria and taking advice from his big uncle, Jay-Jay Okocha.
FIVER LETTERS
“Jürgen Klopp’s approach to making himself uncontactable was revealed by Andy Hunter on Thursday, Klopp explaining: ‘The first thing I did when I left Dortmund, I took my phone and deleted all the numbers so I was not reachable.’ Considering Klopp’s lack of understanding about how phones work, it surely makes his success at football team management all the more remarkable” – Jez Smith.
“How ironic that something described as ‘percussive’ (yesterday’s Quote of the Day) unites two people – The Fiver and Richard Keys – with reputations for banging the same drum over and over again for as long as anyone can remember” – Ed Taylor.
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Jez Smith.
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The National Police Chiefs’ Council has said 83 potential suspects have been identified in connection with allegations of historical child sexual abuse in football.
Atlético Madrid’s new 67,000-capacity cash machine will be called the Wanda Metropolitano stadium. Ah, because it’s sponsored by the Chinese property company. “They are the best partners on our journey to keep working for a better future,” whooped club president Enrique Cerezo.
Bournemouth are also on the hunt for a new ground, in time for the 2020-21 season. “We are not going to develop a stadium we do not own and will not be held to ransom over a price to purchase the existing site,” sniffed a club statement.
His agency publishes details of His income as evidence that he has paid his taxes.
AFC Wimbledon’s Jake Reeves seems to have the right idea before their first Football League trip to MK Dons. “We would like to think we have done it the right way and are going in the right direction where hopefully they are going in the other direction,” he tooted. “There’s no remorse, no mercy on that comment either.”
Bobby Zamora, 83, has called time on his playing career due to a dodgy hip.
Jürgen Klopp wants Liverpool keeper Loris Karius to “close his ears” to criticism. He’ll need to learn how to stop spilling simple shots before tackling that tester.
And Newton Aycliffe have given manager Peter Dixon the boot after members of his team fought their way into Morpeth Town’s dressing room, following their 3-2 FA Vase defeat. Players involved in the incident have also done one. “It’s been a rough week for us,” sighed chairman Allan Oliver.
STILL WANT MORE?
Bournemouth’s Harry Arter talks again with Stuart James, reflecting on 12 months of pain, anger, envy and finally happiness.
Will Toby Alderweireld keep Tottenham watertight against Manchester United and might Troy Deeney finally hit 100 goals for Watford against Everton? That and eight more Premier League things to look out for.
Simon Burnton’s jumped back into the time machine to recall the forgotten story of Jeff Hall, the player whose death turned the tide against polio.
It’s a big weekend in the USA! USA!! USA!!!, so here’s our writers’ MLS Cup final predictions.
Alan Pardew will receive anything but a warm welcome at Hull City this weekend, two years after butting David Meyler, writes Louise Taylor.
Could Dele Alli be lured to France by PSG and will Manchester United allow Ashley Young to join Everton? More tittle-tattle right here.
Oh, and if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. AND INSTACHAT, TOO!
