Inside No 9
10pm, BBC2
The devilishly smart, ever-dark anthology series reaches the penultimate episode of its latest run. David (Reece Shearsmith) is unemployed, and wife Louise (Keeley Hawes) is keen for him to get back to work, presumably not only for his own good, but also to pay for their big suburban house. But David has other plans, namely becoming dangerously obsessed with the provenance of a mysterious shoe. Not the strongest episode of the series, but excellent nonetheless. Hannah J Davies
The Best of British Takeaways
7pm, BBC2
Tom Kerridge and Cherry Healey celebrate British national cuisine: takeaways. This week, the pair focus on fish and chips, visiting three outlets countrywide to see which is best. Along the way, interesting detail emerges. Fish in breadcrumbs came to the UK via Jewish communities in east London. Fish-wise, from the Midlands down, most likely you’ll get cod; north of there, it will be haddock. And don’t wrap it: it will sweat and go soggy. John Robinson
The Replacement
9pm, BBC1
This psychological drama has been so beautifully played by Vicky McClure and Morven Christie that it has been hard to work out what’s real and what is Ellen’s paranoia. But as the last episode dawns, Paula makes a confession, leaving Ellen more sure than ever that she has been on the receiving end of a whole lot of manipulation. Will Ellen and her perfect working wardrobe live happily ever after in the walls of that glass office? She has got a fight on her hands. Hannah Verdier
Mutiny
9pm, Channel 4
With the heart and soul of the Bounty’s End crew – ship’s carpenter Ben – pulled from the show last week due to a nasty infection, Ant has to decide whether to keep scouse provocateur Chris on the boat for the longest leg of the trip so far, despite an overwhelming vote to leave him behind. It’s a 1,600-mile trip through the Coral Sea to Australia, and on the way there’s rotting food, cabin fever and some distinctly mutinous vibes. Ben Arnold
Catastrophe
10pm, Channel 4
Bad news: with Rob still unemployed and Sharon’s public-sector salary falling shy of their financial obligations, a move to a cheaper property is on the cards. Good news: the couple have found the perfect property within their price range, with the charming grandfatherly owner keen to sell to them. They just need that mortgage application to come through without a hitch. You can probably guess which category of news that last bit will fall under. Mark Gibbings-Jones
Portrait Artist of the Year 2017
8pm, Sky Arts
The ultimate winner of this demanding artistic competition is not, alas, decided by pastels at dawn. Instead, the remaining three amateur artists must attempt to capture the essence of Billy Liar himself, in the form of their final celebrity sitter, Tom Courtenay. The prize is a £10,000 portrait commission plus an extended best-bits compilation screening after this decisive instalment, retracing the victor’s various brushes with fame. Graeme Virtue
Bizarre ER
10pm, E4
The jokey voiceover seems partly designed to distract from its queasy content, but Bizarre ER is really not for the squeamish. For proof, dare to look as Nick shows us the fingers he unwisely put inside his lawnmower. And what of the digit that made a bid for autonomy during this process? Will the medics be able to reattach it? Expect gashes (surprisingly chipper cyclist Mark: “You don’t often get to see inside your own leg”) and grisly sights aplenty. Jonathan Wright
Film choice
Red Sorghum (Zhang Yimou, 1987) 2.10am, Film4
Set in poor, rural northern China circa 1930, Yimou’s drama opens like a folk tale, with widowed heroine Gong Li finding true happiness with the man who raped her just before her wedding. They make red sorghum wine together, until it turns to bitter dregs under the savage Japanese. There’s an evocative timelessness in Gong Li’s luminous features, and in the hauntingly photographed sorghum fields. Paul Howlett
Live sport
Cycling: Tirreno-Adriatico Stage seven, featuring a 10.1km individual time trial starting and finishing in San Benedetto. 1.15pm, Eurosport 1
Ski Jumping: World Cup The meeting continues with the men’s HS138 individual. 3.30pm, Eurosport 1
Champions League football: Leicester City v Sevilla Former neutrals’ favourites attempt to overturn a 2-1 deficit. 7pm, BT Sport 2
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