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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Julie McCaffrey

Truth behind Prince Harry's 'genetic pain' - trauma and death in the dysfunctional Royals

Cycling through California’s hills with baby son Archie strapped in behind, Prince Harry breathed in the balmy Pacific air – and for the first time in his 36 years, he felt free.

Or that is what he’d have the world believe following an interview this week.

In a podcast, he told American actor Dax Shepard that only by moving 5,000 miles to the US west coast has he been able to break free from his “genetic pain”.

Quite how much “genetic pain” his words cause those with whom he actually shares his genes – his brother, his father, the Queen – cannot be imagined.

But certainly his new family; wife Meghan, friends Oprah Winfrey, James Corden and Gayle King have nothing but pride for his new-found “honesty”.

What is your view? Have your say in the comment section

(POOL/AFP via Getty Images)

Over here, Harry’s words, spoken with new American upspeak, put him at the centre of a new outrage.

Just as his family comes to terms with Prince Philip ’s death, Harry fired: “When it comes to parenting, if I’ve experienced some form of pain or suffering because of the pain or suffering that perhaps my father or my parents had suffered, I’m going to make sure I break that cycle so that I don’t pass it on.”

Piers Morgan, who quit Good Morning Britain after a row over Meghan’s Oprah chat, was incensed: “How many more times is this spoiled brat going to publicly trash the dad who’s bankrolled him his entire life?”

For someone who fled the UK to get out of the limelight, Harry has been carrying out an extraordinary number of interviews and public appearances.

Harry believes his bond with his father stems from a previous generation (Tim Graham Photo Library via Getty Images)

Less than a fortnight ago he received a standing ovation after giving a speech at the Vax Live concert in Los Angeles.

The dust is yet to settle on his Oprah interview which left the royal family feeling scorched, which quickly followed his prime-time chat with James Corden.

Some might feel his personal outpourings are best kept to the privacy of a therapist’s office.

Yet his fans agree it is only by distancing himself from his family and talking about his “trauma” that he is going to be able to become a good father to his two-year-old son and soon-to-be-born daughter.

The reunion with Charles at Philip's funeral was reportedly frosty (CAMERA PRESS/David Dyson)

For all the sense of duty we have seen from our Queen, Charles and William, their family situation has been unusual at best. Dysfunctional at worst.

Among the palaces, privileges, titles, land, jewels and fortunes handed down there have been unwelcome traits too.

Harry grew up the son of a woman who suffered bulimia and mental health disorders.

Traumatised by her parents’ acrimonious divorce and custody battle when she was only seven, she was haunted by her mum Frances leaving the family home for a life with lover Peter Shand Kydd.

Harry joined the British Army at 19 (Getty Images)

Close friends said the experience left Diana feeling needy and fragile.

She was plagued with insecurities, suffered bulimia and is said to have attempted suicide.

A similar pattern of marital disharmony scarred her sons. Prince Charles had an affair with Camilla Parker Bowles, now Harry’s stepmum.

Diana believed it went on throughout the marriage.

Meghan and Harry shared this pic of Archie with balloons to mark his second birthday (The Duke and Duchess of Sussex)

Harry was sent to boarding school at eight, Eton at 13 and joined the British Army at 19.

His parents separated in a blaze of publicity when he was eight and both admitted adultery on national television.

He lost his mother aged 12. Harry’s relationship with his father has suffered.

Charles stopped taking his calls after he fled Britain and their reunion at Philip’s funeral was said to be frosty.

Diana was snatched from Harry's life when he was only 12-years-old and Prince William was 15 (Getty Images)

The broken father-son bond also repeats that of the previous generation.

Charles was forced by his father to go to his old school, Gordonstoun, in the 1960s and hated its toughening-up exercises, like a daily run and cold shower.

During world tours, the Queen and Philip left Charles with nannies for months.

They were so emotionally and physically distant, reunions were celebrated with pecks on the cheek and formal handshakes.

Harry says he wants to break the cycle with his raising of Archie (Getty Images)

Harry can now see some of his dad’s parenting was just learned behaviour.

He said: “I started to piece it tog-ether and go, ‘OK, so this is where he went to school, this is what happened, I know this about his life, I know it’s connected to his parents so that means he’s treated me the way he was treated, so how can I change that for my kids?’”

This does not question the royal family’s service to our nation, but it does question what it must be like to grow up in it. Perhaps, as Harry suggests, it was a cycle of genetic pain.

Psychologist Dr Pam Spurr says: “A person can successfully make a complete break from it by having an emotional and physical break, and not seeing their family.

"Sometimes that allows them to clear the slate and rebuild a new foundation.”

Harry has chosen to uproot, but whether he is right to share his pain publicly is a different manner. He is at risk of turning the royal family into a posh episode of the Jeremy Kyle Show.

Charles would not answer questions about Harry’s comments on Friday.

Prince Philip said in 1994: “I’ve never discussed private matters and I don’t think the Queen has either. Very few members of the family have.”

Harry is breaking the cycle. Many of us Britons, particularly the older generation, will never be able to forgive anyone for airing dirty laundry.

Younger people seem more forgiving. And let’s not forget this is Mental Health Awareness Week when people are encouraged to discuss feelings.

However we cannot know how the feelings of the Queen, Charles and William have been affected by Harry’s emotional outpourings – or whether those feelings can ever be repaired.

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