Thanksgiving is a time for Americans to come together and put aside their differences while treasuring what’s important in life: family, friendship, and charity. Or at least, that’s the theory.
The reality is that there’s generally one unpleasant family member who seems to take it upon themselves to ruin the holiday for everyone. Said person may or may not usually be a rabid MAGA-mad Trumpite blathering on about immigrants eating cats and dogs as everyone else awkwardly stares down at their turkey.
But last night, achieving what might be the platonic ideal of the hateful buffoon ruining Thanksgiving, Donald Trump himself stepped in to provide a truly bonkers, spittle-flecked diatribe absolutely nobody asked for. Taking to Truth Social, he cranked open his brain and let this disaster flop out:
Trump started promisingly with a “A very Happy Thanksgiving salutation”, but it was all downhill from there. He then launched into a barely coherent rant about the nation being:
“Divided, disrupted, carved up, murdered, beaten, mugged, and laughed at, along with certain other foolish countries throughout the World, for being “Politically Correct,” and just plain STUPID when it comes to Immigration”.
Turkey must have been dry
Very inspiring, Mr President! Do you have… uh, anything positive to say as the nation serves up some pumpkin pie? Oh, what’s that, more racist garbage? Okay!
“Hundreds of thousands of refugees from Somalia are completely taking over the once great State of Minnesota. Somalian gangs are roving the streets looking for “prey” as our wonderful people stay locked in their apartments and houses hoping against hope that they will be left alone.”
In a low point for Thanksgiving, the Presidency, and Trump in general, he went on to call Minnesota Governor and former VP candidate Tim Walz the R-word and insinuated that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar is in an incestuous relationship with her brother.
In typical angry grandpa fashion, there wasn’t even a conclusion to this spiteful word salad, choosing to wrap up his Thanksgiving message by insulting Somalia by saying “which is essentially not even a country for lack of Government, Military, Police, schools, etc…”
Even by Trump standards, he sounded deeply miserable and bitter last night. Maybe it’s time to give the grumpy president a Thanksgiving surprise and fly Zohran Mamdani in from New York again. Get them both settled down in front of the White House TV, put Rush Hour 2 on, and let these two besties hang out until the president calms down a bit and they can put him to bed.
