Time to grab some popcorn and get real cozy, because the latest episode of the Real Housewives of the White House drops tomorrow and it’s set to feature the “make-up” phase of Donald Trump and Elon Musk‘s bestie break-up.
According to reports, the former First Bro and the US President are expected to have a sit-down chat to hash out things in their cringe bromance. While I can only hope to be a fly on the wall for that meltdown, I’m picturing plenty of finger wagging and objects flung across the room in drama that’d have Bravo producers already gagging for a season two.
Politico correspondent Dasha Burns says she briefly spoke with Trump on Friday, local time and “a truce may be in the works”.
“A conversation between WH team and Musk is expected tomorrow,” she wrote on X (formerly Twitter). “And this afternoon senior admin officials advised Trump to temper his response and keep focus on his megabill.”
She’s talking of course about Trump’s so-called “Big Beautiful Bill”, the tax and spending legislation that’s driven the wedge between the evil overlords. Musk described it as a “massive spending bill” that increases the federal deficit and “undermines the work” of his Department of Government Efficiency, known as DOGE.
The two have been pretty much exchanging barbs all day, much to the delight of our collective meme-hungry brains, and it’s escalated from bad to worse to a shitshow.
Not only has the Tesla founder called for Trump’s impeachment — replying “yes” to a tweet about whether Trump’s gotta go and if vice president JD Vance should replace him — but he’s even claimed Trump has connections to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
“Time to drop the really big bomb: Donald Trump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public. Have a nice day, DJT!” he tweeted, adding: “Mark this post for the future. The truth will come out.”
Meanwhile, Trump slammed Musk and said that the “easiest way to save money” would be to “terminate [his] governmental subsidies and contracts”. In true break-up pettiness, Musk basically told him he’d beat him to it, and that SpaceX would “begin decommissioning its Dragon spacecraft immediately”. (For those of us who touch grass and have no clue WTF this means, it’s a pretty big space project for the US government, and that’s the craft that brought the four stranded astronauts back to Earth from the International Space Station).
But fast forward just a few hours and Musk might’ve already been convinced to backtrack on that, thanks to *checks notes* a random X user.
“This is a shame this back and forth. You are both better than this. Cool off and take a step back for a couple of days,” the user @Fab25june wrote on X on Friday, to which Musk replied: “Good advice. OK, we won’t decommission Dragon”. (Was that sarcasm? Honestly, all bets are off at this point.)
Markets have even crunched the numbers to put a pricetag on this hot mess, and the receipts are spicy. In the last day alone, Musk has seen a whopping AUD $52 million straight up slashed from his personal net worth. It’s the second largest loss ever in the history of the Bloomberg Billionaires Index of the 500 wealthiest people on the planet, per the Sydney Morning Herald.
Tesla’s market value sank, with shares down more than 14 per cent and $235 billion(!!!) wiped from its market capitalisation on Friday, local time.
I’m sure all these receipts and more are going to be discussed at the Bravo-style reunion of Trump and Elon — so grab your popcorn and pray for Andy Cohen!
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