TROUBLESHOOTER / I'm worried about my sister who has…

TROUBLESHOOTER / I'm worried about my sister who has started dieting

Dear Troubleshooter:

I'm a female university student in my late teens. I'm wondering what to do about my slightly older sister, who has started dieting.

I myself have suffered from an eating disorder. I casually decided to embark on a diet, but eventually found myself hardly able to eat a thing. To this day, I still feel pain when I think about the constant cycle of anorexia and binge eating that I went through.

I finally was able to recover from my disorder, but right around that time my sister started her diet. She has cut back on her meals and weighs herself three or more times a day. I can see my own painful experiences in my sister's choices, and it stresses me out so much that I've started to eat alone in my room. My sister and I have had trouble communicating lately.

I know from my own experience that whenever someone brings up your diet, you have a tendency to get angry and become even more extreme. However, I want my sister to understand that she doesn't need to diet -- she's beautiful just the way she is. How should I bring this topic up with her?

N, Tokyo

Dear Ms. N:

No matter how hard one tries, it's difficult to get rid of a fixation on food and body weight. Instead of suffering over how to escape her preoccupation, your sister should focus on cultivating interests outside of dieting and losing weight in her everyday life, and then slowly increase the amount of time given over to such interests.

People who suffer from an eating disorder are constantly consumed with thoughts about dieting and food. I would recommend spending time together with your sister doing activities that are unrelated to those things. How about taking walks together, or going to listen to music? Amusement parks could also be a good idea, and it might help to take along some mutual friends. I think you should start by engaging in things that your sister seems even slightly interested in.

People have a tendency to succumb to eating disorders when they're having trouble finding a goal in life toward which they can direct their energies. They are dissatisfied with themselves and desperate to break out of the status quo, so they come to see losing weight as an ideal solution and make it their goal.

Please help your sister to create a life for herself that's free from thoughts about dieting and losing weight, so that she can begin to channel her energy in a new direction. I believe that your sister needs to discover a new way of life that is true to herself, and begin to pour herself into that life.