Trevor Noah
Several American states recorded their highest case totals of coronavirus to date this week, reported Trevor Noah on Thursday’s Daily Show, even after months of social distancing and shutdowns across the US. The sharp uptick, long after the administration promised coronavirus would be passed and as other countries have contained their outbreaks enough to partially reopen, is due to how “much of America has treated coronavirus the same way we treat our bodies in the winter”.
“We’re always like, ‘Yeah, I know it’s not looking good right now, but when the summer comes, I promise everything is gonna be in shape!’ And then the summer came, and things were still not looking good, and people were like: Eh, screw it. I’m still going to the beach.”
America isn't just dealing with a deadly strain of coronavirus, it's dealing with a deadly strain of stupidity. pic.twitter.com/oeNqPJ6TuA
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) June 26, 2020
Many Americans are still flattening the curve by wearing masks, physically distancing, and following the advice of health experts, Noah explained, but he turned his attention to another segment of Americans: those rejecting health guidelines, such as numerous residents at a commissioners’ meeting in Palm Beach county, Florida, this week who angrily decried a mask requirement, questioned health experts’ credentials, and cited conspiracy theories that masks are “literally killing people” as part of an international deep-state suppression scheme.
“It appears America isn’t just dealing with a deadly strain of coronavirus. It’s also dealing with a deadly strain of stupidity,” Noah said following clips of the meeting. “If wearing masks killed people, there would be no doctors, no dentists, and no hockey goalies.
“This just shows you how destructive social media has been. I mean, you have random people berating qualified health professionals because of some conspiracy theory they probably came across on their Facebook feed.”
And while having people who believe crazy theories and ignore facts isn’t news, “what is new is that now one of those people lives in the White House,” Noah said. So “you might want to upgrade to Zoom Premium, because we’re going to be talking in those little boxes for a while.”
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert examined the administration’s attempts to downplay the surge in coronavirus cases in several US states, such as Mike Pence’s meeting with GOP senators, in which he instructed them to focus on “encouraging signs” about the virus. “Yeah, 2.4 million infected Americans, don’t look at the glass as half-empty! Look at your lungs as half-full,” Colbert deadpanned in response.
Pence also tried to reassure senators that while the number of infections are rising, the mortality rate is not, in part because young and otherwise healthy Americans represent a larger share of those getting tested. “But the young people are just going to bring it home to the old people!” said Colbert. “That’s like saying, ‘Phew, I’m in the clear – turns out only my girlfriend has chlamydia. Now, to celebrate, let’s lose this condom.”
“The obvious way to slow down symptoms is pretty simple: it’s wearing a mask,” Colbert continued. “But unfortunately, putting a piece of cloth on your face has become a culture war thanks almost entirely to our president.”
“So now you’re a liberal snowflake if you don’t want to die, and all across the country people are reacting to oppose mask requirements,” Colbert explained, citing a report on fake mask exemption cards that co-opt the “I am not required to disclose my condition” language from the American Disabilities Act. “But in case you’re wondering,” Colbert said, imitating a mask-opposer, “my condition is that I’m a huge a-hole.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers blasted the Trump administration’s squandering of the ongoing coronavirus crisis, such as announcing this week that it will end federal funding for Covid-19 testing sites. Ending testing as states lodge record numbers of cases is “like a pilot turning off the seatbelt sign after they graze a mountain,” said Meyers. “At what point could we say Trump is actively putting people in harm’s way? He holds indoor rallies, refuses to wear a mask and wants to cut back on testing. Soon, he’s going to start going door to door coughing and licking their doorknobs.”
The spiking numbers of cases is in direct contrast to assurances from the administration that the virus would magically disappear in the summer; Meyers replayed a clip from April in which Jared Kushner told Fox News “you’ll see by June a lot of the country should be back to normal. The hope is by July, the country’s really rocking again.”
“Is there anything less rocking than hearing Jared Kushner say ‘rocking?’ What even constitutes rocking for Kushner? A second glass of rosé on the catamaran?”
