PITTSBURGH — Four years after an antisemitic gunman shattered the quiet of a rainy Saturday's Shabbat services, time has both crawled and flown.
The Oct. 27, 2018, shootings left an indelible mark on Squirrel Hill, its residents and the city as a whole.
Some weeks have gone by like days, and some of the darker days seem to go on for years.
"It seems like it was forever ago, but it doesn't seem like it's been four years," said Barbara Caplan, co-president of the New Light congregation. "There are days you don't think about it at all, and then you turn around and you think about it all the time." New Light was one of three congregations, along with Tree of Life and Dor Hadash, housed together in Tree of Life's building on Wilkins Avenue.
Maggie Feinstein, director of the 10.27 Healing Project, said it can often feel both ways simultaneously.
"Depending on what the emotional connectivity to a moment is, sometimes it feels closer and sometimes it's remarkable how long ago it was," she said. "That's a common experience."
The gunman killed 11 people: Joyce Fienberg, Richard Gottfried, Rose Malinger, Jerry Rabinowitz, Cecil and David Rosenthal, Bernice and Sylvan Simon, Daniel Stein, Melvin Wax, Irving Younger.
Others were wounded, including four police officers.
Ms. Caplan and her husband were supposed to be at services that morning.
"There was a bit of a mix-up, and we were not there," she said. "God's got a plan and it just wasn't our time."
Andrea Wedner was there, alongside her mother, Rose Malinger. Ms. Wedner was shot in the wrist area. Her mother was killed.
"Even though four years have passed since the shooting, at times it feels like it happened yesterday, and honestly I can't believe it actually happened at all," she said. "So often when I would run into someone who knew my mom, I still feel like I need to call and tell her like I did when she was alive."
The memory, she said, doesn't really fade with time, and it's been a particularly bittersweet few weeks: She and her husband, Ron, celebrated their 40th anniversary last week. Now, they prepare for the commemoration.
As the four-year mark approaches, it can bring a range of emotions, Ms. Feinstein said. In that time, the trauma of the day has been compounded for some.
"One trauma doesn't happen in a vacuum," she said. "So along with all the other things that have happened in the four years that have ensued since the shooting — the pandemic, the delayed justice process and then individual experiences that people have — there's such a range on how people are doing."
Indeed, the pandemic limited what the commemoration looked like over the past two years. It has also slowed the already slow-moving wheels of justice.
Though four years have passed, the accused gunman has still not gone to trial.
Just last month, U.S. District Judge Robert Colville set a trial day for April. Jury selection in the case against Robert Bowers, now 50, will begin April 24.
Federal prosecutors and Mr. Bowers' attorneys, including California-based Judy Clarke, have been sparring over discovery and pretrial motions for years. The defense also has also spent much of that time trying to work out a plea deal that would send Mr. Bowers to prison for life and spare him the death penalty.
Life — and healing — continue on even as justice moves slowly.
"In general what we're finding is that there are some people who have really found ... healing paths that feel good, either through community, through their congregations, through therapists — many different things," Ms. Feinstein said.
"Some people are still looking," she said. "(Some people) haven't found the thing that has started that healing journey."
That journey isn't linear, she said. Some years, it will feel right for those affected to gather together. Other years, it won't. The emphasis, Ms. Feinstein said, remains the same.
"One of the things that we really want to emphasize this year, especially as we are at year four, is that we will be continuing to remember the 11 and remember that day as a community — for the long haul, for the future," she said.
"All we can do is always all we can do is be the teddy bear for them to hold on to. You can't do anything else."
For Ms. Wedner, it has meant keeping her mother's memory alive. Though she was 97 when she was killed, she was a vibrant 97, her daughter said.
"My mother loved being with her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and any other relative or friend that wanted to visit," Ms. Wedner said.
Her family, immediate and extended, spent a lot of time together in the aftermath of the shooting, and they still do, be it through dinners, holidays or just sitting and visiting on the porch — something her mother loved, she said.
Also progressing this year is the design for the reconstruction of the Tree of Life building. In the spring, the synagogue unveiled renderings of internationally known architect Daniel Libeskind to create not only a house of worship but also a museum, memorial and education center.
Helping out with that effort will be major gifts from four Pittsburgh foundations.
The Pittsburgh Jewish Chronicle reported Friday that the Henry L. Hillman Foundation, The Heinz Endowments, the PNC Foundation and the Richard King Mellon Foundation each has committed to a minimum $1 million gift to the Remember. Rebuild. Renew. Campaign, which supports the reimagined Tree of Life.
"We are tremendously thankful to each of these foundations and for their deep commitment to our community and this project of renewal," Michael Bernstein, chair of the Tree of Life Interim Governance Committee, said in a statement reported by the Jewish Chronicle. "This campaign is a communal endeavor, as is our healing, and these initial commitments are important as we begin to realize our vision to fight antisemitism. This is just the beginning, and we welcome all people, foundations and organizations to reach out and join us in this historic campaign."
Events marking the date of the attack include a cemetery cleanup Sunday with the Jewish Cemetery and Burial Association, and a make one, take one bracelet-making event to show support for immigrants and refugees with Jewish Family and Community Services.
The Oct. 27 commemoration will be a ceremony that begins at 4 p.m. Thursday on Prospect Drive in Schenley Park. It will include songs from local choirs and a candle-lighting.
There will also be a number of Torah study sessions open to the public throughout the day.
A full list of commemorative events and opportunities for service can be found at 1027healingpartnership.org/events
