Sunday
On another baking hot morning in the Vendee, we head out into the lanes for the start of Stage 2. At the Team Sky bus, Dave Brailsford is chatting to the French media. But then I ask him about David Lappartient, the neat-as-a-pin, not‑a‑hair‑out‑of‑place president of the UCI, world cycling’s governing body, who has hinted that Chris Froome’s clearing over his salbutamol excesses may be attributable to his impressive wads of cash. That has riled Brailsford. “He’s got the local French mayor kind of mentality,” Team Sky’s boss says witheringly of Lappartient, who is mayor of a small French town. That’s Sarzeau, by the way, not Clochemerle.
Monday
Team time trial day, in which the teams who spend long tedious hours testing in wind tunnels paste the teams who rely on spirit and panache. In keeping with the stereotype, it’s an Anglo-Saxon team, BMC, who take the stage, while Froome and Team Sky claw back most of the time lost to rivals such as Romain Bardet and an infuriated Vincenzo Nibali on Stage 1. French teams such as Direct Energie and Cofidis show the usual spirit and panache but once again lose minutes. Lappartient, meanwhile, stung by Brailsford’s words, retreats to his mayoral seat and prepares his next move in the developing war of words.
Tuesday
Sarzeau, in Brittany, a small French town where the local mayor has done a fine job of preparing and planting schemes for the arrival of the Tour and those moneyed big shots from Team Sky. After another sprint finish, we gather around the Sky bus. Some of Sky’s staff have been slipping “Vote Brailsford for Mayor” flyers under the windscreens of parked cars. But the French definitely aren’t seeing the funny side. Dinner is by a harbour on the spectacular Golfe du Morbihan, in front of a giant plasma screen. When the final whistle blows, we are showered in Stella Artois.
Wednesday
The Sky soap opera rolls on. This time it’s Luke Rowe who weighs in, grabbing a “Sky Go Home” banner from a fan at the start and throwing it to the ground, in full sight of the media. Confronted, Rowe says he doesn’t know what we’re talking about. By the time he crosses the finish line, he’s ready to admit to a “bit of banter”. The sign was laminated he says, so he put it in the recycling, in keeping with Sky’s hashtag, PassOnPlastic. That’s Luke Rowe, pro rider and eco warrior – the Dave Angel of the professional peloton.
Thursday
As the skeletal Dan Martin, the peloton’s Irish-Brummie mountain climber, wins atop Mûr-de-Bretagne, one of Froome’s biggest rivals, Tom “toilet stop” Dumoulin, famously victim to stomach cramps on live TV during the 2017 Giro d’Italia, gets a yellow card for drafting for far too long, behind his team car. The Dutchman, seemingly prone to such mishaps, mutters darkly about French TV motorbikes focusing on his misdemeanours and not those of others.
Friday
Sleep comes easily during stage seven, the longest of the race. In the pressroom, some of Europe’s leading sports writers slump cross-eyed with tedium across their keyboards as the peloton meanders through the Sarthe for hours on end. Eventually, 10km from Chartres, the racing starts. There’s a hectic sprint and Dylan Groenewegen wins. The top sprinters – Fernando Gaviria, Peter Sagan and the Dutchman – are sharing the wins out, but for Mark Cavendish, it seems there’s no longer a place at the top table.
