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Tough Guy Book Club helping men connect, make new friends across Australia

Matthew Gribbin and Matthew Johnson, who head up the Rockhampton chapter of the Tough Guy Book Club, say it's helped them find new friends and feel more confident.  (ABC Capricornia: Michelle Gately)

It was like walking into a blind date.

Matthew Gribbin was scanning each face in the pub, searching for someone else who seemed equally lost.

He found Matthew Johnson and, along with another man, they were the first attendees of the Tough Guy Book Club's Central Queensland chapter.

"I think we only had three people for about six months," Mr Johnson says.

"But I just thought, 'Look, these two blokes are cool, I'll keep coming along'."

Nearly five years on, there are now over a dozen members who turn up to the monthly meetings.

Some of them have been encouraged by their partners, some want to talk about books and some just need to get out of the house.

The Rockhampton chapter is one of more than 60 across the country.

Everyone reads the same book, but monthly discussions can often take a diversion.

Every chapter of the Tough Guy Book Club reads the same book each month, but members say you don't need to finish it to take part in discussions which rarely stick to just the book.  (ABC Gippsland: Sarah Maunder)

What is a 'tough guy'?

Mr Johnson admits he didn't understand the 'tough guy' part of the group's name when he first saw it, but the club has helped him redefine the term.

"The first thing you think of when you hear 'tough' is someone big and gruff who wants a fight," he says.

Shay Leighton started Tough Guy Book Club in a Collingwood beer garden when he was in a "pretty rough" place and wanted new hobbies and new friends. (Supplied: Laura McGuire)

"But there are many different ways of being tough.

"There's being strong emotionally or looking out for people or being able to handle difficult things like being a father, or loss.

The complexity of the word is one of the reasons Shay Leighton chose the name when he started the club in a Melbourne pub 10 years ago.

"Somewhere along the way, people decided that reading wasn't tough, and wasn't something guys do and that just seems ridiculous," Mr Leighton says.

Group's accidental success

Although Mr Johnson is proud of how the club has slowly grown in Rockhampton, he's still wary of who he mentions it to, especially in a workplace "full of stigmas".

Sometimes the response is a disheartening, "Oh, you're in a book club? Really? You?," he says.

"There's definitely a perception of what a book club has to be, but we do it our own way."

Founder Mr Leighton says he never set out to break down stereotypes.

He was just "in a pretty rough space" and looking for "decent conversation".

The club's growth was accidental, expanding from a Collingwood beer garden when an original member moved.

"Over the years people have just got involved with us and want to do it where they are because I think they see something in it," he says.

"During those times, it can be great to meet new people and talk about new ideas."

Building a network

That's certainly the experience for both Mr Gribbin and Mr Johnson who say the Rockhampton chapter has helped them build a network of friends.

When Mr Gribbin found the club, he had swapped a FIFO mining job for a milk run and suddenly realised he didn't know anyone in town.

Now, he has people he can ring for a chat or catch up with outside the book club.

"I would say I'm probably a more confident person," he says.

"I'm definitely less anxious about meeting new people."

Mr Johnson had moved to Rockhampton with his partner and was struggling to feel at home.

But when the chance came up to move, the club was one of the reasons the couple wanted to stay.

Helping those in need

Mr Leighton has also been surprised by the way members have gone from being "a club of strangers" to a virtual family.

When several members lost everything in the Lismore floods, the club raised money for them and those who lived close enough drove to town to help clear the mess.

"I'm constantly inspired by the way the men of this club will bend over backwards to look after people that they don't essentially know," Mr Leighton says.

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