Jacob Steinberg’s match report has landed, so I’ll be off. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
Spurs’ first goal should definitely have been disallowed. Replays confirm that the ball hit Sanchez’s arm before Soucek’s own goal. I’m afraid that’s yet another VAR cock-up.
Harry Kane speaks “As a striker, you want to score goals, you want to help win games for your team. It was a tough game. It took us a while to break them down, but it was nice to finish it off at the end. When you’ve been out for over six months, you need to get that feeling back on the pitch. You can train as much as you want. I probably should have scored at least one other, so it was nice to put that one away. If I miss chances it doesn’t bother me too much, I’m always ready for the next one.”
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Full time: Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 West Ham
Peep peep! Harry Kane’s first goal of the year sealed a much needed victory for Spurs. They started slowly but ultimately had a bit too much ability for a determined West Ham.
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90+1 min Bergwijn misses a decent chance, thrashing into the side netting after a four-on-three break.
90 min Five minutes of added time.
88 min This win moves Spurs above Sheffield United and up to seventh, a point behind Wolves and Manchester United. Despite all their problems this season, they could still qualify for the Champions League.
87 min West Ham’s next game is a tough one, at home to Chelsea, but the fixtures get a bit easier after that. I still think they’ll stay up, with the current bottom three going down. But it’s becoming uncomfortably tight.
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86 min Another Spurs change. Harry Winks on, the ever excellent Son off.
84 min “Something that I think could work would be implementing a time limit of 15-20 seconds on how long they can review what happened,” says Ben Chapman. “This accomplishes two things: it keeps the game from moving and if you can’t find a mistake in 15-20 seconds, it’s not clear and obvious.”
It’s a nice idea in theory. But in practice, I can already smell freshly printed lawsuits.
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GOAL! Tottenham 2-0 West Ham (Kane 82)
Harry Kane scores his 300th goal under Jose Mourinho. He ran through from the halfway line, onto Son’s pass, and finished emphatically from the edge of the area. An excellent goal that seals Spurs’ first victiory in eight games.
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82 min Spurs last win was on 16 February, a 3-2 thriller at Villa Park. They look a bit nervous now, with West Ham having more of the ball than at any stage in the match.
80 min “If we are doing questions, Rob, where do you think Liverpool sit/stand in the form standings?” says Ian Copestake. “Watching City even now is like some artwork being unveiled, whereas the possible champions look one Lovren short of a picnic.”
There’s only one form horse in this league, and it’s being giddied up by Mr Roy Hodgson.
78 min: Bowen hits the post! West Ham almost grab an equaliser. Cresswell’s free-kick from the right was headed up in the air by Antonio in the six-yard box. Anderson cushioned the ball back to Bowen, whose snapshot smacked off the outside of the near post.
76 min Antonio’s cross is hooked behind by the diligent Bergwijn, who tracked Lanzini all the way. Cresswell takes the corner shortish to Anderson, who drives a low shot wide from 20 yards.
75 min “That is a weekend beer league goal,” says Mary Waltz. “Eye of the beholder, I guess, but no one will be bragging about that ten years from now.”
I bet Jose will be including it in his maths lessons to the media.
74 min Tottenham kill a bit of time by keeping the ball. Eventually Bergwijn chips an excellent anbled pass over the defence to Aurier, who makes a mess of his first-time cross.
73 min “So what’s the solution on VAR, Rob?” says Ben Mimmack. “Some sort of margin of error on distance offside under which it won’t be corrected - a bit like Umpire’s Call in cricket? Or perhaps an apple related colour scale of how red Jose Mourinho’s face gets when he thinks the system is about to disallow a Spurs goal? If it’s just a Fuji, go ahead and disallow. If it’s the full Honeycrisp, allow the goal.”
71 min A double change for West Ham: Manuel Lanzini and Felipe Anderson replace Noble and Fornals. And Spurs bring on Steven Bergwijn for Lucas Moura.
70 min Replays show the ball probably brushed Sanchez’s arm before Soucek’s own goal. David Moyes won’t be thrilled when he sees that.
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69 min Drinks break.
67 min Davies is booked for a foul on Bowen.
65 min There was nothing much Soucek could do about that.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 West Ham (Soucek og 64)
Spurs take the lead through an own goal from Tomas Soucek. Lamela’s corner from the right was flicked on at the near post and hit the unsighted Soucek before dribbling miserably into the net.
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62 min Lamela drives into the side netting from a tight angle. A goal is coming at one end or another.
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61 min “The idea that technology can crush human joy is the train of thought that leads directly to Marvin, the paranoid android,” says Matt Dony. “Mind you, maybe I’m just old school, but I don’t need technology to extinguish that faint flicker of joy. I can bring myself (and others around me) down with no technological aid at all. It’s a singular skill.”
60 min A half chance for West Ham on the break. Rice drives a long pass over the defence towards Antonio, who lashes a half-volley into orbit on the stretch.
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59 min A Spurs change: Erik Lamela replaces Dele Alli.
59 min: Chance for Kane! Cresswell’s corner is headed away and Spurs break four on three. Son and Lo Celso combine efficiently to find Kane, who drives a left-footed shot just wide of the far post. He probably should have scored.
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58 min Brilliant play from Rice, who beats Sanchez twice during the same run before cutting onto his right foot and driving a shot that is deflected wide.
58 min “Personally I do not take advantage of a lot of technology out there but I am not a luddite,” says Mary Waltz. “Technology is simply a tool that humans use properly, or that humans abuse. There is nothing wrong with VAR per se, humans just don’t know how to use it properly.”
Yes, the real question is whether it’s time for technology to dispense with humans.
56 min Alli shoots well wide from 25 yards after a nice one-two with Son.
55 min That’s the Harry Kane we know, admire and in some cases love. He cuts in on his right foot, on the edge of the area, and whistles a shot just over the bar with Fabianski leaping desperately in an attempt to save.
54 min: Fornals misses a great chance! West Ham should be ahead. Bowen, on the right, played a one-two with Noble and dragged a good cross back towards the penalty spot. The unmarked Fornals ran onto the ball but mistimed his shot so badly that it dribbled across the area, miles wide of goal.
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52 min “To add to what Ian said,” begins Aditi Modi. “If technology is not allowed anywhere near sport, we wouldn’t be able to watch said sport in this new world.”
51 min Bowen wallops over from distance.
51 min Kane is booked for a high challenge on someone, Balbuena I think.
50 min: Good save by Fabianski! Aurier fizzed a low cross to the near post, where the unmarked Kane flicked the ball daintily behind his standing foot. Fabianski was well-positioned and blocked the shot, with the ball rebounding back off Kane and behind for a goalkick.
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49 min Fine play from Eric Dier, who marches forward from his centre-back position and curls a shot just wide from 25 yards. Fabianski had it covered but it was an admirable injection of purpose from Dier.
49 min Lots of Spurs possession at the start of the second half, though it’s all in front of this well-organised West Ham defence.
47 min “I may be over-thinking or just thinking, but the implicit critique in Mary Waltz’s observation is that technology kills human joy,” says Ian Copestake. “If human joy comes from sport then technology should not be allowed anywhere near it. Am I right, Hal?”
You’re not wrong, Walter…
46 min Peep peep! Spurs begin the second half.
“Even though Son’s goal was erased it was a joy to see some quality,” says Mary Waltz. “Other then City, all these teams can’t seem to string three passes together.”
Half-time entertainment
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Half time: Tottenham Hotspur 0-0 West Ham
Peep peep! The break comes at a good time for West Ham, who were hanging on a bit after making a comfortable start to the game. See you in 15 minutes for more entertainment.
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45+3 min Lucas Moura misses a great chance, sidefooting well wide from 12 yards after being picked out by Davies.
NO GOAL! Tottenham 0-0 West Ham
Spurs have been VARed. The non-goal was made by Lo Celso, who picked up a loose ball just outside the D and wriggled away from two players before playing the ball out to Son on the left of the box. He cut back inside Fredericks and rammed an emphatic low shot past Fabianski at the near post. But VAR showed his toenail was offside. Jose Mourinho will love that.
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GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 West Ham (Son 45)
A moment of quality at last. Son has given Spurs the lead with a good goal, though it’s being checked for offside.
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42 min Son’s left-wing corner hits a West Ham defender at the near post and bounces back towards Dier, who smashes a cross-shot that deflects behind for another corner. The second corner is cleared at the far post.
41 min West Ham have been fine defensively, with their back four well protected by the midfield trio of Rice, Noble and Soucek. You’d expect the game to open up a bit in the second half. By heaven, it needs to.
39 min After a good break from West Ham, Fredericks’ cross is well claimed by Lloris.
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37 min I’m not a rich man, nowhere near, but I’d still pay a lot of money to hear Daniel Levy’s internal monologue right now. It’s fiendishly difficult to see this ending well.
36 min “Do you think the audio boffins at Sky are using actual songs from Spurs supporters,” says Stephen Carr, “or are they just using another team’s but at half speed?”
Heh, very good. At this rate, even the virtual fans will be booing Spurs off at half-time.
35 min Davies knocks Son off his feet by belting a cross straight at his noggin. This isn’t great. Moments later, Alli slashes well wide from the edge of the D.
34 min Stephen Carr knows.
31 min Aurier, in space on the right, dumps a cross into the middle. Kane gets above Balbuena but heads over under pressure. It was only a half chance.
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29 min “Wotcha, Bob,” says Mac Millings. “No matter which temperature scale you use, it’s absolutely steaming here in South Carolina today (which is the equivalent of the 1950s everywhere else), but a lot of that heat is generated by me sweating over almost every result involving the Relegation Mini-League. It’s bad enough having to watch my Hornets from between my fingers, but now I have to cry myself through all these other games. On top of that, wanting Tottenham to win sits very uncomfortably, and even worse, I had to be happy that Chelsea won on Sunday. CHELSEA, FFS.”
I’ve missed all this. When I say ‘missed’
28 min A smart bit of play from Fabianski, who controls Diop’s awkward back pass on the chest and knocks it away just before Alli arrives on the scene.
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27 min A decent effort from Kane, who has a sudden pop from 22 yards. It bounces up awkwardly in front of Fabianski, who does well to hold it. I think he held it, anyway. Look, it didn’t lead to a goal, that’s all you need to know.
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26 min Noble is booked for pulling back Lo Celso.
24 min “Greetings Rob from a part of the world where the mercury is on its way to 37C/99F,” says Peter Oh. “27C sounds rather mild. You wrote ‘Lo Celso’ but I think you meant Low Celsius.”
23 min And that’s drinks.
22 min: Good save by Fabianski! Lucas Moura turns away from a West Ham player, 25 yards from goal, and cuts across a vicious, swirling shot that is tipped over by the leaping Fabianski. The shot was central enough for it to be a relatively comfortable save, certainly for a keeper as good as Fabianski.
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21 min “How does one get an invite to the dedicated Antarctica MBM?” says Travis Johnson. “Oh, just for Patreon subscribers, then.”
We need proof of Antarctican address as well, and of course your bank details.
20 min: Good save from Lloris! A long free-kick from the right ran through to Antonio, whose shot on the stretch was blocked by Lloris at the near post. The ball rebounded to Bowen, whose follow-up shot hit Dier. The flag then went up, I think for offside against Antonio at the original free-kick, so it wouldn’t have counted anyway.
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19 min It’s still an even game, with Spurs yet to gain much attacking momentum.
16 min Aurier is still limping after that challenge from Fornals, who caught him on the right ankle. I think he’ll be okay.
14 min Fornals is booked for a lunge at Aurier.
13 min A good attack from Spurs. Lucas Moura plays a fine pass inside Cresswell for the overlapping Aurier, whose hit-and-hope low cross is kicked behind by Diop.
10 min West Ham have made a pretty positive start, with Cresswell and Fornals combining nicely on the left and Bowen looking lively on the other side.
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8 min In other news.
6 min Another corner to Spurs, this time on the right. Lo Celso takes it short, gets it back and whips in a deep cross that is headed clear.
4 min “For those of us in the former colonies, territories etc. (e.g., USA) who have stuck with fahrenheit, you might mention that 27 C is 80 F,” says David C Hunter. “Also, not that sweltering, but everything’s relative, right?”
You should see what I said about it in our dedicated Antarctica MBM
3 min Son’s left-wing cross deflects off Fredericks and is almost shovelled into his own net by Fabianski. Turns out it had gone out of play before it reached Fabianski, so Spurs get the first corner of the game. Nothing comes of it.
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2 min A bright start from West Ham. Cresswell’s deep cross finds Antonio, who does superbly to take it on the chest and reverse it with the outside of the boot towards the onrushing Noble. He takes the ball in his stride, just inside the area, but Sissoko tracks him all the way and makes an important interception. Good defending.
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1 min Peep peep! West Ham, in claret and blue, kick off from left to right. Spurs are in white.
The players emerge on a sticky night in north London, 27 degrees it says here. Prediction: Tottenham Hotspur 12-7 West Ham.
“Football has been largely crap since the restart,” chirps Stephen Carr, “so a Mourinho v Moyes match-up doesn’t exactly whet the appetite does it?”
“Was I wrong in thinking that the long break would have given players the opportunity to develop some innovative free kicks and corners?” sniffs Gary Naylor. “I thought that they might have practised execution too. Instead, they’re worse than ever. Brighton kicked two corners out of play! Imagine rugby players being as slapdash about penalties and conversions.”
I don’t know, I’d be tempted to reserve judgement until we see the first rugby matches after such a long break.
It’s all over at the King Power Stadium. You will believe the score!
Pre-match reading
It’s Leicester 0-0 Brighton at the King Power Stadium. You won’t believe the score!
Team news
Tottenham Hotspur (4-2-3-1) Lloris; Aurier, Sanchez, Dier, Davies; Sissoko, Lo Celso; Lucas Moura, Alli, Son; Kane.
Substitutes: Gazzaniga, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Winks, Lamela, Sessegnon, Ndombele, Fernandes, Bergwijn.
West Ham United (4-3-2-1) Fabianski; Fredericks, Balbuena, Diop, Cresswell; Noble, Rice, Soucek; Bowen, Fornals; Antonio.
Substitutes: Randolph, Ogbonna, Johnson, Anderson, Lanzini, Wilshere, Yarmolenko, Ajeti, Silva.
Referee His name is Craig Pawson.
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Preamble
Hello and welcome to live coverage of Tottenham Hotspur v West Ham United from the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in Tottenham. Both teams come into this match in a bit of a funk. Spurs had a perfectly good result on their return to action, a 1-1 draw at home to Manchester United, but for one reason or another the mood around the club hasn’t been great for a while now.
The same is true of West Ham, apart from the bit about a perfectly good result. They lost 2-0 at home to Wolves, a scoreline that did not flatter them, and are only outside the relegation places on goal difference. After a good start to the season - they were fifth are seven games - they have taken only 15 points from 23 games.
West Ham know from the great escape of 2006-07 that good form can appear from nowhere in a relegation battle. They could sure use something similar now.
Kick off 8.15pm.
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