And with that, I’m off. Bye!
Here’s Jacob Steinberg’s match report from White Hart Lane:
It is not all doom and gloom for Tottenham. Although there is no end in sight to the search for a new manager, Ryan Mason is doing everything in his power to ensure that whoever takes over has European football next season.
This was a reminder that Spurs can play. Gareth Bale scored a splendid hat-trick and Son added a beautiful fourth as Mason’s side moved up to fifth place, five points below Chelsea with four games remaining. Champions League qualification is not out of the question yet.
There were times when it felt like Spurs were trying to remember their values. Although they rose their level now and then during the first half, there were long spells when they lacked cohesion on the ball. They looked unfocused, distracted, not quite at it. They were better than the visitors, which is hardly saying much, but overall there was a listlessness to their play, a sense of a team lacking in confidence and struggling to find an identity. Perhaps that is inevitable when the man in the dugout is a 29-year-old caretaker with no managerial experience.
Much more here:
Fewer smiles as Chris Basham has a chat:
It just comes down to quality of players. The finishers they’ve got, and the speed they’ve got as well. We tried to give it the best shot we could but in the end it’s a 4-0 defeat and not many of us really played well either. We’re down at the end of the day. We’re relegated. There’s no reason why we can’t come here, the shackles are off and we’ve got to perform. But we didn’t perform today and we got beaten 4-0.
Gareth Bale is, as you can imagine, full of smiles. He’s asked to talk about the team’s performance and his own:
Yeah, no, definitely. It was a great performance from the first whistle. We got the ball, got control of it and played some good football. Nice to get a hat-trick but more importantly three points for the team, and we move on to the next one. I just needed to get a run of games, and I’m doing that now. I’m happy, and when I’m happy I normally play well.
Meanwhile, there’s this from the thinly-veiled criticism of Mourinho department:
The fact that we’re more on the front foot. We’ve been working on that now for the last few weeks. It’s obviously not going to happen overnight but I feel we’re taking a step in the right direction and we’re playing football the Tottenham way.
Final score: Tottenham 4-0 Sheffield United
90+4 mins: It’s all over! Five excellent finishes (one disallowed for a marginal offside), four goals, and one match ball being claimed by Gareth Bale.
90+3 mins: A lovely Spurs move ends with Kane passing to Reguilon, who shoots wide of the near post from the edge of the area.
90+2 mins: Since Bergwijn came on Alderweireld has his a few long passes over Stevens and down the right flank for the Dutchman to chase. He gets onto the end of the latest one, and sends in a cross that flicks Ramsdale’s hand and lands on Kane’s head before bouncing behind.
90+1 mins: There’ll be three minutes of stoppage time, or thereabouts.
90 mins: You’ll never guess who Sky have made their man of the match. Alright, you will guess, it’s the bloke with the hat-trick. Spurs are hogging the ball as the game nears stoppage time.
88 mins: Hojbjerg goes in the book for sweeping away Fleck’s legs, with the ball nowhere near.
86 mins: The ball drops to Kane in the area. He was well offside, which is just as well because his shot was dismal and flew way wide.
83 mins: Another substitution, Lys Mousset coming on for McGoldrick.
81 mins: United are an absolute mess in defence now, and Lamela misses a pretty straightforward chance to play in either Kane or Son. But United are also attacking with more conviction/abandon, and Burke then runs up the other end and rolls in a low cross, which goes wide.
78 mins: Lamela comes on for Alli, who I thought played pretty well, particularly given that he has played one minute of league football (plus another six in the Carabao Cup) since mid March.
GOAL! Tottenham 4-0 Sheffield United (Son, 77 mins)
Bergwijn has an assist already! He runs infield from the right and passes to Son, on the left of the area, who cuts onto his right foot, benefits from Basham falling over when trying to close him down, and curls a beautiful shot off the inside of the far post!
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75 mins: Bale is taken off, giving him a chance to milk the applause of the virtual crowd. Bergwijn is on.
73 mins: Kane sends the ball across the face of goal from right to left, just a foot or two away from a Son tap-in with Basham’s positioning this time perfect to slow the Korean.
70 mins: Lo Celso and his bruised cheek leave the field, and Winks comes on.
GOAL! Tottenham 3-0 Sheffield United (Bale, 69 mins)
And that’s the hat-trick! Good work in the build-up from Alli and Aurier, who cuts infield, ignores Kane’s run into the area - which sucks Basham out of position - and lays off to Bale, who enjoys all the space that Basham’s just vacated and lashes low and hard past Ramsdale from the edge of the box!
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66 mins: United have at least now had a shot on target.
65 mins: Chance for United! Burke overlaps down the right and pulls back to Fleck, who appreciates that there are too many defenders around him and jumps over it, allowing the ball to run through to Norwood, who is completely marked on the edge of the area but thumps his shot at Lloris!
64 mins: Gareth Bale’s goals this season have come against Brighton, Burnley (two), Crystal Palace (two), Southampton and now Sheffield United (two). He has not scored against a team currently higher than 13th in the league.
GOAL! Tottenham 2-0 Sheffield United (Bale, 61 mins)
Son wins the ball in his own half and from that moment the Blades are cooked. There’s nobody but Ramsdale in their half of the pitch, and Son plays it through for Bale, who runs to the edge of the area, shifts the ball onto his left foot and then lashes it into the top corner!
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59 mins: Spurs win a throw-in, which is delayed for a bit while Aurier has a drink and a snack. He is Muslim and the Ramadan fast ended at 8.29pm, which probably explains that.
56 mins: United have a long spell of possession. They haven’t done much with it, but it’s definitely an improvement.
NO GOAL! Still Spurs 1-0 Sheffield United
52 mins: The lines show a bit of Son’s shoulder (and also the rest of an arm) was beyond the last man, so Tottenham’s lead remains undoubled. Still a great finish, though.
GOAL! Tottenham 2-0 Sheffield United (Son, 51 mins)
That’s how to finish! It’s a long ball from defence, over the entire Sheffield United team and into the path of Son, who runs into the area before lashing the ball past Ramsdale. VAR will want to check this for offside ...
47 mins: Nope, VAR decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think that’s extremely generous. Fleck wasn’t looking at Lo Celso as it happened, but I think he could have contorted his body to avoid it, and the contact was nasty. Lo Celso plays on, with three stud marks on his cheek.
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47 mins: VAR check! I think Fleck’s probably going off here, after he lands his foot on Lo Celso’s head.
46 mins: A double change for the Blades at the break has seen them take off Bogle and Brewster and bring on Berge and Burke. Is that the most alliterative substitution ever?
46 mins: Peeeeeep! The second half is under way.
It’s been a decent game, but for the first time this weekend I’ve detected the whiff of flip-flops and deckchairs about a few Premier League fixtures, and though given the extent of Tottenham’s control we were never going to get typical English top-flight pell-mell action, there’s perhaps a bit of that about this game too.
Half time: Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Sheffield United
45+4 mins: A gently entertaining if rather one-sided half comes to an end. United have had a couple of moments of attacking promise, but no chances. Spurs have played more than 3.5 times as many accurate passes as their opponents - it’s 358-97 at the break - which tells the story.
45+2 mins: Lovely, sharp interplay between Kane and Son works the ball to Alli, whose curler from 23 yards or so curls into Ramsdale’s arms.
45+1 mins: There will be about three minutes of stoppage time.
43 mins: The ball comes to Kane, just inside his own half, who for a change messes up a simple defence-splitting pass. The defence had pushed up, and Bale made a run from deep - all he had to do was lift the ball into the visitors’ half and wait to collect the congratulations after Spurs doubled their lead. He lifts it too far into the visitors’ half, and Ramsdale deals with it.
41 mins: Spurs win a free-kick, five yards outside the box. Kane blasts it into the wall, and blasts the rebound wide. “Thousands at Chelsea, even more at Arsenal and today’s chaos at Man Utd makes me ashamed of my fellow Spurs fans,” writes Frank Lopez. “We had about 80 last week and a guy playing a guitar. It’s embarrassing, especially as the club punished Pochettino for not being able to get a tune out of squad he had practically been begging to be refreshed. Has not winning anything for so long drained us of any fight? I had enough from the owners when they sold Carrick to Utd! How long ago was that?!”
Fifteen years ago this summer, since you ask. Fifteen years!
38 mins: The Blades have defended pretty well today, but that was the work of a team that has already clocked off.
GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 Sheffield United (Bale, 36 mins)
Bale gives Spurs the lead! Kane’s pass into the area is intercepted by a defender, who sends it rolling out to Aurier, well outside the box. Nobody closes him down, or tracks Bale’s run into the area, so Aurier lifts the ball into the Welshman’s path, beyond the defence, and he pokes it beyond an advancing Ramsdale!
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34 mins: United sustain some attacking possession, which ends with Norwood crossing pretty well from the right, and Brewster being caught on his heels again.
31 mins: Ramsdale is on the turf, receiving treatment to his right foot and grimacing a lot.
28 mins: Sheffield United make a rare incursion into Spurs territory. McGoldrick gets space on the left, but only Brewster offers support and even that is half-hearted, so McGoldrick just passes the ball to Lloris.
26 mins: Reguilon finds Kane, just inside the penalty area, but he scoops his effort over the bar with his left foot.
23 mins: “Would Dele Alli’s ‘outstanding new look’ be that of ‘consistently good footballer’ by any chance?” Chance would be a fine thing. No, it’s that of ‘Billy Ocean tribute act’. Or perhaps that of Gary Oldman in True Romance.
19 mins: Son was wiped out by Egan just after playing that pass to Kane, and has required treatment while Egan has required a yellow card.
18 mins: Chance for Kane! Son passes left to Kane, who turns past Baldock and shoots left-footed, but Basham comes off the line to clear, and it was going wide anyway.
16 mins: Spurs almost score with a shot from distance! Son shoots left-footed from the edge of the D, but Ramsdale dives to his right and pushes it round the post!
15 mins: The Blades backline is holding pretty firm, and restricting Spurs to shots from distance.
12 mins: Kane releases Bale down the right with an excellent first-time pass, and the Welshman takes on Basham, cuts inside, but then gets a bit excited and blasts a shot over the bar from 18 yards.
10 mins: Kane’s cross from the right deflects onto the roof of the net. The match is being played in the Sheffield United half, and Spurs have had 71% of possession so far.
7 mins: Sheffield United have the game’s first official, non-offside shot, though McGoldrick’s effort from 20 yards or so rolls slowly wide.
6 mins: Lo Celso lifts the ball into the box, Baldock leaves it for Ramsdale and Reguilon nearly nips in! But in the end, um, he doesn’t.
2 mins: Some early action for Ramsdale, as Son lifts the ball into the area, Kane is the only person to anticipate it and his volley from eight yards is straight at the keeper. The lino’s flag is up, though, and replays show Kane offside by a narrow margin.
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1 min: Peeeeeep! The Blades, dressed as blades of grass rather than steel entirely in green, kick us off.
The players are on the pitch! And Dele Alli has an outstanding new look.
Sky have obviously had to relocate their broadcast of this match from Old Trafford at no notice whatsoever. After halting their Super Sunday broadcast and replacing it with Sky Sports News for a while they’ve managed to rustle up Michael Brown, formerly of both Sheffield United and Spurs, and Kelly Cates and stuck them in a studio, and are doing a decent job all things considered.
Sheffield United here, during their warm-up.
As it happens, I believe I know the exercise they’re doing here. It’s this one:
Good player/sign juxtaposition here. This photo might come in handy after the transfer window opens.
Spurs make two changes to the side that flunked their Carabao Cup final test last weekend: Winks and Moura are out, Bale and Alli in.
Sander Berge is back in the Sheffield United squad, for the first time since the defeat to Manchester United on 17 December. In 20 games since his injury the Blades have been the second worst team in the division (after Southampton), and had the season started then they would now be one win (and some goal difference) away from Newcastle in 16th and safety. They have won 0.8 points per game in this period. This isn’t great, but it’s a massive improvement: in 13 games with Berge in the squad they won one point at 0.077 points per game.
The teams!
The team sheets have been handed in, and the names upon them were these:
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Aurier, Dier, Alderweireld, Reguilon, Hojbjerg, Lo Celso, Bale, Alli, Son, Kane. Subs: Doherty, Sanchez, Winks, Lamela, Hart, Sissoko, Bergwijn, Lucas Moura, Ndombele.
Sheff Utd: Ramsdale, Baldock, Egan, Basham, Bogle, Norwood, Fleck, Stevens, Osborn, Brewster, McGoldrick. Subs: Lundstram, Berge, Mousset, Lowe, Burke, Jagielka, Foderingham, Robinson, Gordon.
Referee: Andre Marriner.
Hello world!
Sheffield United have won four away points so far this season, seven fewer than the next worst travellers, West Brom. This, it goes without saying, is rubbish. There have been other teams with terrible away records: last year Norwich only won six; the year before Fulham won five; Hull got six in 2016-17, as did Aston Villa the previous year. A few teams have won seven. But not since 2009-10 has a team won as few points away from home across a full Premier League season as four (Burnley, on that occasion), while it took the record-breaking Derby side of 2007-08 to get fewer, only managing three. Aaron Ramsdale, relegated with Bournemouth last season and the Blades this, last kept a clean sheet in an away league game in December 2019, at Chelsea.
The Blades could still remove themselves from that conversation entirely, with visits to Everton and Newcastle still to come even after today. It will only take one little, teensy-weeny win. So there’s that. And they haven’t been involved in a goalless draw since the 10th game from the end of last season (and Spurs have only had one this season), making some kind of goalscoring look likely. Plus Spurs continue to chase a place in Europe next season, and are just two points behind West Ham in fifth.
We’re beyond the stage where you go into most league games feeling that everything is to play for. But there’s something to play for, and that’ll do for now. Welcome!
