We are living in a politically divided United Kingdom and – on a microcosmic, more intimate and perhaps disagreeable scale – in increasingly divided families. The most recent YouGov poll shows Labour support among 18- to 24-year-olds to be at 71%, while 62% of those aged 65-plus intend to vote Conservative. In other words, young and older voters heading to the polls today are at odds over pretty much every issue going, from Brexit to the break up of the union. Up and down the country, many of us are living with the opposition.
In my own averagely mixed-up family, my Indian immigrant parents have long voted differently to their London-born, Scotland-residing, LGBT daughter. In recent elections, as Richmond Park constituents, they have voted Conservative, including voting for Zac Goldsmith, which will forever horrify me. In Edinburgh North and Leith, I have voted Labour, Green, and yes in the independence referendum. In fact, this election marks a rare political alignment in our family as none of us will be voting Tory. The last time this happened was in those retrospectively simpler times when we were all tactically voting Lib Dem, even though none of us was a Lib Dem supporter.
So what is it like when your son is a Tory and you are a Corbynite? And how do all the young hopeful Labour supporters who have registered to vote in this election feel about their ageing Conservative parents? CR
Tory son/Labour father:
Chris Murray, 21
Politics student, Newcastle University
Ever since I was politically aware, I have been a staunch Conservative, apart from a spell in 2012 when I was Lib Dem. I agree with the fundamental values of the party: financial autonomy, low taxes, personal liberties, and aspiration for everyone. It is my second general election and I voted leave in the EU referendum. Growing up, my political influences were very mixed and I feel fortunate in that respect. Both my parents are leftwing; my dad is very leftwing, but I had rightwing influences from my grandparents.
We are all passionate about politics in our house but we have never fallen out over it. My dad is very enthusiastic about Jeremy Corbyn and we have a lot of good-natured arguments around the dinner table. But we respect each other’s opinions and there is a mutual respect for our different views. Most of my friends are Labour voters. I suppose I am not one to make things easy for myself.
Neither of my parents are lifelong Labour supporters. My dad has fluctuated over the years between spoiling ballots, voting Green and Lib Dem once or twice. He would probably like Corbyn to go a little further than he does. My parents have put a huge Corbyn billboard outside our house. It makes me cringe a bit. If I put one up of Theresa May, I think they would throw me out.
Neil Murray, 58
Lecturer at the Open University, Thetford, Norfolk
It is not a huge Corbyn billboard; it is a Labour party placard. We have just hyped it up to annoy Chris. It was a gradual process, realising that our son was a Conservative. We have always had political discussions; he is an only child, and he has always had to hold his own at the dinner table among a lot of adults talking politics. Over the past few years it has become clear that he is of the Conservative persuasion. Interestingly, we both voted to leave the EU.
I was a Labour supporter before New Labour took over and then I oscillated between the Lib Dems and the Greens. I was really saddened to see the change that came about under Tony Blair. It put me off politics for a long time. When Corbyn became leader, I rejoined the Labour party because it has gone back to its roots and is providing a genuinely alternative vision for Britain’s future.
I come from a family of north-eastern miners. I was born in County Durham; most of the family worked in local coal mines, my grandmother was involved in the Labour party, and my father was brought up in a staunchly Labour household. He changed his mind under Thatcher when he was able to buy his council house and felt she was the only politician who had benefited him. Growing up, I had plenty of discussions with him.
My son is rightwing in all respects. He believes in a small state, the workings of the free market, and thinks Theresa May is too leftwing. He clearly decided by himself, independently, to be a Tory, but it could change. I am not going to stop debating with him, and we are really proud of his engagement with politics and activism, despite our divergent views.
Lib Dem daughter/Labour father:
Danielle Marshall-Kabala, 29
Maths teacher, Cheltenham, Gloucestershire
It was Dad who advised me to study government and politics at A-level, and it was then that I started to develop my own ideas. It introduced me to different ideologies and I just didn’t engage with Labour policies in the same way. We learned about universal benefits. Dad believes everyone should be entitled to them, whereas I don’t see it as fair that everyone should get the same help while some people put in a lot more work than others.
I have been brought up to dislike the Conservatives so I would not go down that road, but what I like about the Lib Dems is that it is more about giving people a start in life, and then it is up to them and how hard they work. Dad gave me that work ethic.
Whenever I speak to him, he still goes off on one about Labour and Labour values. As I have got older, I have probably become more diplomatic, and so has he. The biggest row we had was about the second bedroom tax, which he was very against. Ultimately, socialism is about giving what you can and taking what you need, and that worked for the postwar generation, but I don’t think it works in today’s society.
I moved to Cheltenham last year and it is a swing seat that the Lib Dems have a good chance to win back from the Tories. When May called the election, I texted Dad to tell him I had joined the Lib Dem party. He didn’t reply for a bit, but then said: “If you defeat the Tories, then you’ll have done the right thing.”
Danny Marshall, 64
School lab technician, Grays, Essex
I grew up on a council estate in Dagenham. My dad was a coal delivery driver, a window cleaner, a factory worker – anything that helped the family get along. When you see your dad come home late at night, black from head to foot with coal dust, you become aware of things.
I became an apprentice at Ford, where I worked for 42 years. I joined the union at 18, became a shop steward in the 70s and got involved in Labour politics that way. The kids were aware of it. Danielle used to say: “Oh, you’ve got your meeting trousers on.” If something was happening on the news, I would try to explain things.
Danielle went to university and I suppose she looks at politics in a different way. I was always aware of what politics meant to people who have not got a lot of money, but while at uni Danielle mixed with more affluent people at uni. When she trained as a teacher and got a job at a tough school in south London, I thought she was going to develop more socialist views, but it didn’t happen.
She was on my side over Brexit but now she is Lib Dem and very against Corbyn, even though I try to tell her that he has put forward the only real alternative to Tory government. He represents something completely different, and that doesn’t always happen. She probably thinks I am a daft old fool sometimes. I suspect she thinks I try to lecture her but I am trying to advise her. She is so set in her ways, but she probably gets that from me.
Labour son/Tory father:
Jay Lancaster, 28
Primary school teacher, Romford, Essex
We were not a political family and I had no real awareness growing up, other than remembering that Blair was in No 10 and was very popular. I remember the Iraq war and thinking it seemed like a good idea. But I have since developed a more critical outlook on aggressive foreign policy. Now I would say I veer towards progressive socialism.
I do not see my dad that often but he visited a couple of weeks ago and seeing how he reacts to London tells you a lot about our differences. He drives everywhere and we were going to a gig – music is our common ground – and took the train. It was strange seeing his culture shock as we got on the tube. The gig was in Islington and I joked we were going to Corbyn’s place. I see London as fun and cosmopolitan; he sees it as crowded and I don’t think it fits the Conservative “better in my day” view of things before mass immigration. He had been to North Yorkshire the week before and said: “It was great. I barely saw another person.”
I have not tried to convince him that Corbyn is the man for the job. He is mad set in his ways. Our differences don’t stop us having a good time when we do see each other, but I think if he had a different outlook he would come to visit more often.
Steve Lancaster, 53
Smart meter technician, Sawley, Derbyshire
My father always voted Conservative. He was an entrepreneur and Thatcher was his hero. I have been the same, up until the rise of Ukip and I went that way, but now that they are defunct I have gone back to the Tories.
I have got three children and Jay, the middle one, has always been the political one. He went off to university to study sociology and then he became a teacher – and in that environment you tend to lean towards the left.
We will only debate politics if it comes up and we do not get angry, but he knows that when I have made my mind up, it is not about to change. I respect his views; he is his own man and I think he has learned from his peers.
I have got no confidence in Corbyn. Labour seem to invent money out of thin air. But I do think taxes should go up by 1% to pay for the NHS and social care. May is good enough, but she does not explain herself well. She is no Maggie Thatcher.
Politics is not part of being a father, in my book. You can guide your children, but once they reach voting age, you cannot force them to change their minds, you just help them along the way. My younger son is a chip off the old block – he is a Tory – but I would never fall out with Jay just because he is Labour.
Interviews by Chitra Ramaswamy and Simon Usborne.
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