I nearly threw up last week. I was so panicked, I nearly vomited my peppermint tea and couscous all over my head of department. It wouldn't have helped my cause, I was already in trouble. My fourth day of being a grown-up, qualified teacher and I had missed a lesson. So not cool. While my year 11s were diligently waiting outside lab 2, I was happily chatting away to the technicians planning exciting practicals with locusts and sheep lungs. I thought the lesson was later in the day so it was an innocent mistake but, as my boss rightly stated, "it doesn't look good". He was right on a number of levels but I don't really want to dwell on that. I don't think I have ever missed a deadline or meeting in my life, I was totally appalled at my mistake.
So, what to do when you mess up and it's really obvious? Firstly, don't flap and do stay calm. With 10 minutes of the lesson left I 'confidently' strolled in to the class, mumbled something about technical hitches and asked the students to start reading the textbook out loud in turn. Inside I was a jabbering wreck, certain the students would see through my sheet white face and the sheen of sweat on my brow.
Secondly, don't admit to the students you have totally buggered up, just move swiftly on and don't engage in any questions about the matter. I'll happily admit when I don't know a fact or if I have forgotten something minor such as a diagram for a student — but not when it is something big. Particularly at the beginning of the relationship, I think it would undermine the students' confidence in me.
Thirdly, come clean with your line manager; it's quite humiliating having to admit that you have done something properly stupid, but if your mistake could, even in a small way, make them look bad, then the repercussions could be a lot more painful if you delay fessing up.
Fourthly, don't tell your woes to all your colleagues. I am a great one for wearing my heart on my sleeve and tell anyone polite enough to ask precisely how I'm feeling. Apart from the fact they don't really want to know because then they'll be obliged to try and make you feel better, they might think you're a bit rubbish too, and news travels fast. Lastly, have a large glass of wine and move on — don't dwell for more than 24 hours.
I am incredibly lucky that at my new school the students are on the whole very responsible. They might have waited for half an hour but they didn't run off or fight; they stayed outside the classroom and (eventually) even alerted another teacher. At friends' schools the children would have been climbing up the walls, racing, brawling and screaming — if they had bothered to hang around at all that is. My boss was very understanding too, while I did feel like a naughty school girl it was very clear I was beating myself up quite badly, so he was pretty supportive. A colleague at the school took me for a drink and told me all about the pretty big screw ups he'd made which helped enormously too — you definitely won't be the only one who's done something very stupid.
