As exam pressure mounts ahead of the Junior and Leaving Cert next month, parents have been
advised to keep calm and shelve their own anxieties.
There’s just five weeks to go until around 120,000 schoolchildren will complete their tests all over the country.
Family therapist Richard Hogan has told how mums and dads need to treat the daunting examinations as a one of life’s learning curves.
He said: “The majority of people experience stress and for some families we want the child to be more stressed and other families want their child to calm down and gain some perspective on the exams.
“It’s such a learning moment for your child.
“We’re hard-wired as mammals to experience stress and we’re going to experience throughout our lives and it’s important they develop the coping skills to manage the Leaving Cert.”
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Mr Hogan said the tell-tale signs of stressed-out students are “they might be overwhelmed, they might not be able to sleep, not going out”.
And the therapist has some advice for parents who are having sleepless nights about their kids not
studying enough. Mr Hogan told told Virgin Media One: “Sometimes we need to do a bad exam, we need to fail sometimes.
“Success is sometimes about failing and overcoming it.
“When adolescents come into me and they are really overwhelmed by the Leaving Cert I often quote ‘the map is not the territory’ and what it means is what we believe isn’t always what the reality is.
“You’re 18, you can do it again if all else fails.”
Tips to get the best out of children
1. Work on the atmosphere in the house
Dr Hogan said: “I hear parents say to me, ‘We’re on eggshells, we can’t say a word to them’ – that’s not conducive to study. It’s really important you take a step back from all the anxiety and stress and gain some perspective on it.”
2. Develop a timetable that allows for extracurricular activities
“Students are in an optimum time right now and they are going to remember what they learn.
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“They should’t be studying past 10.30pm. A Junior Cert student should study in 35 to 40-minute sessions – maybe five or six. Leaving Cert students could study hour-long sessions and taking five or 10 minutes between each hour.
3. Accept mistakes will be made
“Parents need to think about how they are projecting their own anxieties and pressure on their children.
“Perfectionism is a thing that causes a lot of stress.”
4. Relax
“Adults also need to know there are many paths. The journey is life.
“It is only an exam at the end of the day.”
