Regarding your recent letters on school reports (Letters, 28 April), during my time teaching in a comprehensive school in the 1980s, a colleague submitted a report on a pupil that included the observation: “Wayne is at his best when he is absent, which is not often enough.” His comment was filtered out by a senior member of staff, but was often recalled in the staffroom.
John Cockell
Congleton, Cheshire
• A former colleague had written a one-word report on a pupil – “Idle”. The headmaster said that this was not enough and he must write more. He did so by inserting the word “Bone”.
Chris du Feu
Dalgety Bay, Fife
• Way back in the 1950s, a notoriously caustic teacher at Colchester royal grammar school delighted my parents with the report: “Not as good as he thinks.”
John Pye
Southampton
• “Well given up” was the report of my chemistry teacher in 1960 after an exam in which I was awarded a no doubt generous mark of 14%.
Prof (not of chemistry) Bill Sheils
York
• Geography report circa 1963: “Lack of ability such that he frequently fails to find his way to the lessons.”
Griff Everett
Milford, Derbyshire
• My French teacher when I was 13: “Invincibly cheerful in spite of fearful lack of accurate knowledge.” The only laugh I got from Dad on a report.
Judith Butler
Maidstone, Kent
• My history teacher’s report at the end of my O-level year: “I have failed to combat Akiva’s determination to fail this subject.”
Akiva Solemani
St Leonards-on-Sea, East Sussex
• A school report on my cousin: “We know young boys must have their fling … but we really think he has flung himself far enough.”
Lynn Wiseman
Lewes, East Sussex
• I’m proud of my primary sports report. One word: “Sedentary.”
Nick Salmon
Leeds
• Have an opinion on anything you’ve read in the Guardian today? Please email us your letter and it will be considered for publication in our letters section.
