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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
National
Martin Winter

Top domestic disputes couples have - from not putting away dishes to leaving the toilet seat up

Leaving lights on around the home, leaving the toilet seat up, and not putting dishes away are the top things that cause domestic quarrels for cohabiting couples.

In fact, more than a third (39%) of couples living together believe their bickers arise from issues around cleaning or household chores – including not dusting properly, not making the bed, and leaving dirty plates in the sink.

More than one in ten (13%) clash heads on a daily basis over domestic tasks – with a quarter (24%) seeing red when their partner makes a start on the housework, but doesn't finish it.

And six in ten (59%), of the 2,000 adults polled, admit the disputes can get so bad that they lead to the complete breakdown of the relationship.

The study, commissioned by method, also revealed that gender stereotypes are far from a thing of the past, as more than half of women (54%) believe they are still doing the lion’s share of the housework.

The document, created by cleaning brand method, is an agreement to end 'chore wars' (method)

A spokesman for the cleaning brand said: “We’re on a mission to challenge cleaning stereotypes and make the world a more fun, fabulous, and inclusive place.

“It’s shocking that in 2022 we’re still seeing such disparities in the way cleaning and housework are shared.”

To help ease the arguments, and mark the launch of its new multi-surface concentrated cleaner, method has worked with legal service, Lawrence Stephens, to launch the “ Clean Up Pre-nup ”.

Made in Chelsea’s Maeva D’Ascanio and James Taylor have signed the first agreement, officiated by barrister and broadcaster Rob Rinder.

Raphaela Kohs, solicitor at Lawrence Stephens, said: “While cleaning and housework may appear like trivial things to argue about on the surface, they represent something much bigger – inequality.

“The simplest way to solve issues and avoid conflict arising is by addressing these issues when you begin cohabiting, and by fairly and transparently divvying out domestic duties.”

The study also found 45% of women cohabiting with a male partner said household tasks are “disproportionately split” – compared to just a third of men (34%) who said the same.

And 39% of the females who claim this imbalance increased during the pandemic, said it hasn’t rebalanced since adapting to post-lockdown life.

But it’s not just heterosexual pairs experiencing domestic disruption – as 41% of same-sex cohabiting couples said there’s a notable imbalance in how their housework is split, too.

It also emerged half of those polled (49%) said their partner expects praise or thanks when they finally manage to complete a task.

And 17% of partners believe they’re offering a helping hand, while 26% think they’re doing the other a “favour”.

Broadcaster and barrister Rob Rinder officiates the UK's first Clean Up Pre-nup (method)

A third of couples say the situation is so extreme, they may even have reconsidered moving in together had they known how the housework would be divided.

But while 24% are frustrated by the inequality of household chores, it’s not necessarily because they don’t enjoy cleaning.

More than four in ten (41%) said it has a positive impact on their mental health, while 42% enjoy it as a form of exercise, and one in ten (11%) see it as a type of meditation.

The research, conducted via OnePoll, found that 41% get frustrated by the split of household tasks as it becomes a matter of “fairness”.

method's spokesman added: “Our “Clean Up Pre-nup” hopes to challenge these traditional gender stereotypes whilst also alleviating chore wars, so that households – no matter what their make-up – can live together in bliss, and find the joy in keeping their home looking and smelling amazing.

And Jemima Olchawski, CEO of gender equality charity, the Fawcett Society, said: “We need to shake up and challenge gender norms that see women left responsible for household work – that means more men taking on their fair share.

“Whether in the workplace or at home, women carry the burden of unpaid domestic labour – and this has a significant impact on achieving gender equality.

“A re-balancing of household chores and care would unlock the potential of thousands of women.”

TOP 30 MOST COMMON HOUSEHOLD ARGUMENTS FOR CO-HABITING COUPLES:

  1. Leaving lights on around the home
  2. Leaving the toilet seat up
  3. Not putting dishes away
  4. Starting but not completing the housework
  5. Whose turn it is to clean the floor (hoovering, mopping etc.)
  6. Not squeegeeing the shower screen after showering
  7. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor
  8. Dropping crumbs in the bed
  9. Not dusting properly
  10. Not making the bed
  11. Not listening
  12. Leaving crumbs on the side
  13. Not taking the bins out
  14. Leaving dirty plates in the sink
  15. How much time they spend on their phone
  16. Leaving trays to soak for ages before washing up
  17. Not loading/unloading the dishwasher
  18. Making plans without checking you're free first
  19. Who is cooking the evening meal
  20. What film/TV series to watch
  21. How to decorate the house
  22. Not flushing the toilet
  23. How loudly they listen to music
  24. Not making enough effort with each other's family
  25. The amount of sport they watch
  26. Inviting people over without consulting you first
  27. Who is responsible for getting the groceries
  28. Having to socialise with partner's friends
  29. What to do with a spare room
  30. How to manage the bills properly

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