My book The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is basically 208 pages of tips and tricks for fangirls everywhere – and it was difficult to cut it down that far! It’s tough to distill this into my Top 10 tips for nerdy ladies, but I’m going to try – and hopefully, some of this will help. Get your geek on, gals!
1. You belong. And don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Though geek culture is infamous for its gatekeepers (people who might make you feel excluded or unwelcome), that kind of mentality is total crap. If a comic book store makes you feel uncomfortable, take your money elsewhere. If someone questions your cred, you don’t need to be their friend.
2. Get involved. Fandom is fantastic for making new friends and new things. By connecting with like-minded fangirls on Tumblr, Twitter, and elsewhere online you get to have an instant group of friends you know are into the same stuff you are. Plus, it allows you the opportunity to create your own great stuff – like fanfic, fan art, and cosplay – to show off your passion in the best possible way.
3. Support awesome lady-created and lady-supportive media. Did you read a book with an amazing female protagonist? Play a video game where you got to choose your gender and sexuality? Read a comic book created by an incredible woman? Shout about it to the rooftops! The only way we’ll get more great empowering media is if we support it with our voices and our dollars and pounds (if possible). And chances are you’ll make that creator’s day if they see your love online.
4. Stay safe. As long as there’s been an internet and women, women have been harassed on the internet. But it’s not all bad; there are tons of ways you can keep yourself safe, like making sure you never share personal info, locking down your accounts with two-step verification, and even being a little click-happy with the block button. Trolls exist, but you don’t have to let them get to you – physically or mentally.
5. Consume your media critically. This doesn’t mean that you have to look at everything you read or watch or play with a pessimistic eye – it just means that you should be aware of what you’re taking in and how it’s influenced by the structures in which we live. When you read a book that might seem like a romance on the surface, it’s important to take a closer look at the power dynamic – you might discover it’s actually abusive. It’s even more important, however, to remember that:
6. You can still enjoy problematic media. If you automatically disliked everything that was a little bit misogynist, you’d pretty much dislike everything on the planet! As long as you’re aware of the issues with what you’re reading or watching – like this movie doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test, or that book fridges a female character – it’s cool to still go ahead and be obsessed with it. You do you – just be smart about it, too!
7. Try something new. It’s easy to get locked into our geek spheres and find ourselves a little intimidated by the thought of branching out. Walking into a comic or game store for the first time can be overwhelming – but there are tons of guides online (and in my book, even!) to help you discover something new that you might dig. There isn’t just one kind of comic – there’s everything from superheroes to high sci-fi to people who have sex and stop time. I promise you’ll find something you love if you get past the anxiety and just go for it!
8. Be cool. To everyone online! Support other women – it’s the raddest thing you can do. Be cool to your online friends instead of talking behind their backs or attacking them in passive-aggressive blogs (we’ve all been there); comment critically about media without directly attacking the people who make it; approach your role models on social media like an awesome friend to tell them how much you appreciate what they do. Your life will be a lot happier this way!
9. Embrace the “f” word. Feminist is not a dirty word. It just means that you think all humans should be treated the same, regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, physical ability, and class. It means that you are grateful that the women who came before you gave you the rights you enjoy today. It means you think anyone can like comics and video games. It means you think everyone should be able to wear, say, play, read, or do whatever makes them happy. What isn’t good about that?
10. Wear comfortable shoes to conventions. Seriously. You can thank me later.
Sam Maggs’ The Fangirl’s Guide to the Galaxy is available from the Guardian bookshop.
